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You May Think Im Crazy... You'd Be Right

@garbageblogboy-blog

Your one stop shop for all your mythical, paranormal, and cryptozoological posts stolen from other blogs because I am an unoriginal fuckbag
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I found this Homebrew race today and I already love it

I’m naming him Gulliver and he’s just gonna try so damn hard to be the adorable hero the Material Plane deserves 😭❤🦉

Good stuff.

This. This is good fiction writing advice. I really appreciate how it was formatted as “this is a common problem, here is a solution to try in your own work” and not “oh god, don’t do that!” without any extra help. And I extra appreciated the “don’t rely on adverbs” bit, because they do have their place but they aren’t the only way actions can be emphasized.

Accents 101

So if you’re a dm like me, you probably want to be relatively skilled in some typical fantasy accents for your game to make things feel that much more real. So i’ve decided to throw together a little master post of “how to” videos on some various accents. This is mostly for my own reference, but if you’d like to save this for yourself too, go right ahead. Feel free to add on to this, as well!

General Accent Tips

Scottish

English or “British”

French

Irish

Russian

German

Canadian

ULTIMATE "OH FUCK I JUST GOT MY FIRST APARTMENT AND ALL I HAVE IS ONE CHANGE OF CLOTHES AND A THIRD SOCK" CHECKLIST

CLEANING

  • Dish soap
  • Laundry detergent
  • All-purpose cleaner
  • Hand soap
  • Broom
  • Mop
  • Wash cloths / rags
  • Vacuum
  • Dustpan
  • Lint roller
  • Sponges

KITCHENWARE

  • Plates
  • Bowls
  • Spoons
  • Forks
  • Knives
  • Glasses
  • Mugs
  • Tongs
  • Spatula
  • Plastic wrap
  • Ziplock baggies
  • Garbage bags
  • Paper towel
  • Tupperware
  • Ice tray
  • Oven mitts
  • Potato peeler
  • Mixing bowls
  • Frying pan
  • Pot
  • Baking sheet
  • Whisk
  • Stirring spoons / ladels
  • Tea infuser ball
  • Measuring cups
  • Strainer
  • Cutting board
  • Coffee maker
  • Kettle
  • Toaster
  • Magnets
  • Dry erase markers
  • Sticky notes
  • Microwave
  • Wire sponge
  • Trash bin
  • Recycling bin
  • Rubber gloves
  • Silverware organizer
  • Measuring spoons
  • Aluminum foil
  • Wax paper
  • Can opener
  • Bottle opener
  • Containers for salt, sugar, flour, etc.

LIVINGROOM

  • Sofa
  • Rocking chair (you know you want one)
  • Loveseat
  • Coasters
  • Blankets
  • Throw pillows
  • Coffee table
  • Book shelves
  • TV
  • TV stand
  • Floor lamp
  • End table
  • Stereo system / radio

BEDROOM

  • Mattress
  • Box spring
  • Bedframe
  • Linens
  • Sheets
  • Comforter
  • Hangers
  • Laundry hamper
  • Trash bin
  • Curtains
  • Pillows
  • Pillow cases
  • Night table
  • Alarm clock
  • Lamp
  • Dresser
  • Coat rack
  • Desk / vanity
  • Comfy chairs

DININGROOM

  • Dining table
  • Minimum of 2 chairs
  • Coasters
  • Placemat
  • Tablecloth
  • Tea lights /candles and candle holders

BATHROOM

  • Face clothes
  • Towel
  • Soap bar
  • Body wash
  • Shampoo
  • Conditioner
  • Tissues
  • Toilet paper
  • Trash bin
  • Plunger
  • Toilet cleaner
  • Cold, flu, pain, and allergy meds
  • Hydrogen peroxide
  • Antibacterial ointment
  • First-Aid kit
  • Tweezers
  • Nail clippers
  • Band-aids
  • Shower rod
  • Shower curtain
  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
  • Floss
  • Period products
  • Bathmat
  • Air freshener
  • Trash bin
  • Towel rod
  • Towels

MISCELLANEOUS

  • Elastic bands
  • Stapler
  • Stables
  • Paper clips
  • Needles and thread
  • AA / AAA batteries
  • Light bulbs
  • Extension cords
  • Scotch tape
  • Duct tape
  • Shovel
  • Rake (if you have a yard)
  • Stain remover
  • Jar of courters for laundry mat
  • Screw drivers
  • Hammer
  • Nails
  • Sticky tack
  • Screws
  • Box cutter / X-acto
  • Pliers
  • Wrench
  • Pens
  • Paper
  • Pencils
  • Pencil sharpener
  • Eraser
  • Welcome matt
  • Shoe rack
  • Coat rack
  • Flashlight
  • Flashlight batteries
  • Watch batteries
  • Rechargeable batteries and charger
  • Safe place to discard dead batteries
  • Candles
  • Matches
  • Lighter
  • Mini travel fans
  • Real fans
  • Emergency Survival kit
  • Fire extinguisher
  • Landline phone
  • Window air conditioner
  • Carbon monoxide alarm
  • Fire alarm

FOOD STUFF

  • Mustard
  • Ketchup
  • Mayo
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Baking soda
  • Flour
  • Eggs
  • Milk
  • Bread
  • Olive oil
  • Tea
  • Jam
  • Peanut-butter
  • Coffee grounds
  • Cereal
  • Rice
  • Pasta
  • Vegetable soup
  • Tomato sauce
  • Frozen vegetables
  • Crackers
  • Chickpeas / lentils
  • Apples
  • Oranges
  • Granola bars
  • Juice
  • Hot chocolate mix
  • Frozen meats

And since people are having a hard time figuring this out for themselves, let me just say: every single item on this list is OPTIONAL, just look for what you need personally and let others do the same.

Out of curiosity, how do my fellow DMs prepare their campaigns? 

Do you open up a word doc at type out your story hook and make little bullet points from there? 

Do you wing it completely? 

What’s your notes system like? 

I’m simply looking for new ways to plan for my d&d games! 

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The Over-Prepared GM

I can’t help myself. I love all the work that goes into prepping for a campaign, and I keep all of my crazy notes and papers, so today I’m gonna try and share with you my process for the latest DnD session I prepped for/ran! 

Rough Notes

I always start by hand writing a full page or two of just random thoughts/story bits. I’m gonna give examples from the latest session I ran (BACKSTORY - this setting has frequent time travel moments and so every location I make also needs a past version and present version)

Writing Stonevale began with me rambling on about any vague ideas I had for the scene setting. I also find it’s useful to get the secrets and mysteries all clear and laid out straight away, and work backwards from them to slot in clues for players. “Stonevale Past” begins with me deciding that the ancestors of an important NPC live here - maybe the players never get far enough to discover that, but having the secrets and info at the heart of my process helps me keep things focussed, and it’s easy/fun to build walls around the secrets this way :)

I also generally get a feel for any creatures/NPCs that populate the area, and give them vague roles. And I try to note down key details/props/locations/events that will help the players navigate and investigate.

Session Summary

Now’s the time to check what happened last session just to make sure you know how the party characters will likely be feeling/acting at the start of the session, and to remind yourself of any items they picked up, or active statuses going on. Also a good moment to check what the party planned to do next, what their expectations could be and so on.

It’s hard to make myself fill this in at the end of every session, but the session summary page in this kit really helps me note down what’s most important.

Maps

Making a map is always an exciting prospect for me! I thought this time I wanted to give a more illustrative style of map, as I’ve been super inspired by the very cool maps made by @anywhichwayatlas ! I got onto pinterest and collected some ideas of the type of map style I was going for:

Above are the images I used to inspire me, and below is the finished Stonevale map! It’s come out a bit rough/childlike but was definitely a fun way to explore more ways of making maps!

Later on, I realised I’d got too into making this and forgotten about some sort of depiction of the INSIDE of the manor… Since I didn’t have any time to make more maps by this point, I went to where I always go when I need a DnD map in a pinch - @2minutetabletop ! I picked up Castle Keep, which is free (like so many of his maps are!) and faffed with some colours and levels in photoshop until I was happy. Printed them out on A3 card and they were good to go! I can’t recommend this resource enough, it’s saved my GM butt a lot when I run out of time to make a map of my own!

Adding in Detail

So next I need to flesh out those vague ideas to make sure I’ve covered what’s likely to be important for the party. I love using the town builder here as it gives me a bit of mental breathing room and asks the questions for me. I find having questions ready means the answers come a lot easier than if I was trying to pluck this out of my head, if that makes sense? 

It was at this point I realised I’d likely need a family tree, even just so I could keep track of the time travel/ancestral stuff. I roughed one out, then made a slightly bigger, still very rough, version that I thought might be a handy clue for players. If they make it inside the castle, they’ll notice a framed family tree on the wall, and this will be it!

NPCS

Our story involved one of the players having worked at Stonevale before the adventure, so I made a staff list for that player’s reference. This way they had some basic information on their old co-workers and the residents of the manor. I also filled in an NPC list from the people & society kit to make sure I had enough NPCs to generate about the property.

Then I used the map to mark some likely locations of the important NPCs. I made sure to spread them out so that no matter how the party approached the grounds, they’d likely hit a plot hook somehow.

Quest Hooks

Time to shove as many clues as possible in here! My experience has been that players need a lot more help picking up clues and reaching conclusions than you expect (myself included!) so I make a point of writing a bunch of quest hooks to inspire both the players and myself during play. I use the quest hooks page from the session kit to note down basically little story bites and clues that I can drop in as and when I need to. It’s a useful sheet to glance at real quick during the game!

Loot

Gotta make sure there’s some loot somewhere! There’s always at least one player who ransacks every location they visit :) I hadn’t set up Stonevale to be a particularly loot-filled place but knew the manor in the centre could do with holding some of the resident’s belongings that could be steal-able. Again, I realised this quite late in my planning, and so dashed off to the @rpgtoons Patreon to grab all the free item cards I could find! Then I picked out which ones could be appropriate for certain family members and residents, and stashed ‘em in the pile ready to hand out.

Ambience

This is one of the last things I come to, as it’s fairly easy to set up, but so important if you want your players to be focussed and engaged. Every time I use music or scents its palpable how much more invested in events players are. For ambient backgrounds, youtube is a gold mine. I like to have two playing simultaneously - one for music and one for background noise. For example:

Check out Sword Coast Soundscapes or Guild of Ambience for some very cool RPG ambient soundtracks too!

As for scents, I use these a little more sparingly, but @cantripcandles does some exceptionally convincing aromas that really work for setting the mood, and taking your prep that lil extra step. My favourite is Goldwheat Bakery - the only way to get a more accurate smell would be to visit a bakery!

Finishing Up

At this point I’m almost good to go. I take one last look over everything I’ve prepped to see if there are any gaping plot holes or parts I’ve missed. For this particular session, it occurred to me there could be an opportunity for eavesdropping on an important conversation, so I wrote out a one page script for what the players might overhear should they choose to snoop. 

Play!

I guess you wanna know how the session went down after all this prep? Did the players enjoy it, did they find what I’d laid out for them? 

OF COURSE NOT! They made their very best effort to skirt the entire property, clinging to the edges of the map and hiding any time an NPC interaction looked likely. Predictably, I didn’t anticipate that they would attempt to avoid everything, but the Quest Hooks page kept things flexible. That, and the fact that one player’s rat companion decided to jump down a hole and became “irretrievable until further notice”…. ahem.

Hope you find this useful, I’ve tried to link to as many resources as possible because there are just so many good ones out there right now! Thanks to all DnD creators! I think it’s really cool everyone’s helping each others’ games become even more fun to play! :)

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Okay, this is way beyond what I’ve ever done, even at my most prepared.  Kudos!

I love this so much

More often than not I’ll crack into a sprawling fantasy series and, while I appreciate the luscious descriptions of furniture, landscapes, and clothing, all I’m focused on is that I don’t actually know how this world works. I only know what it looks like.  

Including some functionality to your universe can add to immersion and give your reader a strong foundation on which to build their mental model of your universe. 

You certainly don’t need to use all of these questions! In fact, I recommend against that, as all of these certainly won’t make it into your final draft. I personally find that starting my worldbuilding off with 5 to 10 functional questions helps pave the way for glittery and elaborate aesthetic development later on.

  • How is the healthcare funded in your world?
  • How does healthcare functionally differ between the wealthy and the poor? (i.e. can only the wealthy go to hospitals? do poor families often have to rely on back-alley procedures?)
  • Where are health centers (i.e. hospitals, small clinics, etc.) organized in your cities?
  • Does it differ in smaller towns?
  • How does this affect people’s ability to get healthcare?
  • Is healthcare magical, and if it is, how does that affect the healthcare system? 
  • If healing is instantaneous, how does that affect people’s views on injury, illness, and chronic ailments?
  • If you have both magical and physical healthcare, which one is deemed superior and how does that affect society? 
  • What illnesses are common in your world? 
  • How does this affect daily life? 
  • What do the people in your world think illnesses are? 
  • Is it a miasma theory? 
  • Humor theory? 
  • Demons? 
  • Do they know about biological viruses and bacteria? 
  • How does this affect healthcare?
  • How do people get water? 
  • Is the water sanitary and if not, how do they sanitize it?
  • How does agriculture work? 
  • Is it large corporations or individual farms?
  • What sort of agricultural technology exists in your world and how does it affect food production?
  • Are farmers wealthy or poor?
  • What sort of natural resources does your world/country(ies) have and how are they obtained?
  • How does this affect the average wealth of the country?
  • How does this wealth affect the culture? 
  • What livestock or beasts of burden are most valued? Least valued? Why?
  • What is considered a luxury good vs. a regular good?
  • What forms of transportation does your world have?
  • What classes use what forms of transportation?
  • How far has the average citizen traveled, given your transportation limitations?
  • Which cities are the most accessible and which are the least? Why?
  • How do popular transportation methods change how cities/towns are laid out?
  • Does your world have public transportation? What is it?
  • Is there a coming-of-age aspect to travel?
  • Describe your world’s postal system or whatever equivalent there is. 
  • Who pays for it? 
  • How reliable is it? 
  • Are there emergency methods for transporting information?
  • How does your world keep time (i.e. watches, sundials, water clock, etc.)?
  • Does your world have a currency system, barter system, or something else? 
  • If you have multiple countries, do different currencies have different values across said countries?
  • How does this affect travel?
  • Do you have banks in your world and if so, how are they run?
  • Who owns the banks? Government? Wealthy? How does this affect the economy and/or class system?
  • How does credit operate in your universe?
  • Does your world operate more on big corporations or small business? Something in between?
  • How are workers/labourers treated in your world? 
  • Are there workers unions and if so, what are common views on unions? 
  • Describe your tax system. If you don’t have a tax system, explain why and how your world is affected by that. 
  • Can certain social classes not own property, certain livestock, certain businesses, etc.? Why?
  • How are business records kept? Are business records kept?
  • If your world has technology, does your world prioritize developing entertainment tech, communications tech, transportation tech or something else entirely?
  • What does this say about your world?
  • How does this affect your economy?
  • To the closest approximation, what type of government does your world have? 
  • How are rulers/presidents/nobles put in place? 
  • How much power does an individual ruler have? 
  • Is there a veto process? 
  • If you have multiple countries, do they have different types of rulers?
  • Describe any large-scale alliances (i.e. countries, factions, etc.) that are present in your world. 
  • How did they come about and how are they maintained? 
  • Are they strained or peaceful? 
  • How does it affect the greater politics of your world?
  • Describe how wars are fought both internationally and nationally. 
  • Do methods of war differ between countries/races? 
  • What about philosophies about war?
  • If there is a military, what is its hierarchy structure?
  • How does the military recruit?
  • Is the military looked upon favourably in your society?
  • What weapons are used by each country/type of people during warfare, and how does that affect war strategies?
  • Describe the sentencing system of your world. 
  • Is your accused innocent until proven guilty, or guilty until proven innocent?
  • How are lawbreakers punished? 
  • If you have prisons, describe how they are organized and run, and who owns them. 
  • Does differing ownership change how the prisons operate?
  • What are the major ways in which laws between countries vary? 
  • Do laws between cities vary? If so, how and why?
  • How does citizenship work in your world? What rights and privileges do citizens have that others do not? 
  • Can certain classes or races not become citizens?
  • Are there certain taboo subjects or opinions that artist/authors/musicians are not allowed to depict (i.e. portraying the official religion in a negative light, explicit sexual material, etc.)? What does this say about your society?
  • How do people get around these censorship laws?
  • What is the official hierarchy of duty in your world? (i.e. is family the most important, or patriotism? What about clan?)
  • How many languages are there in your world, and how many languages share a common origin? 
  • How many people are multilingual? 
  • Which language is the most common?
  • How is multilingualism viewed?
  • How are different languages viewed? (i.e. is one language ugly/barbaric while another is romantic and sensual?)

Feel free to add your own questions in reblogs or in comments!

Worldbuilding: Religions

Religions have many different aspects that should at least be given thought if not careful consideration. Use these to guide your creative process when developing new religions and deities.

Key Aspects

Deity/Pantheon: Your religion does not need to necessarily have a deity, and it can even have an entire pantheon. I would venture that while a trained priest might perhaps specialize in one deity, a religion can have many.

Dogma: What are the principles and teachings of your religion? What does the deity implore of their worshippers? What is and isn’t allowed? What are the ethics of the religion? Why must we follow these principles?

Symbols: As important as the religion’s dogma are its symbols. How is your religion recognized on flags, tabards, armor, weapons, artwork, and holy symbols? Does your religion have a holy color or color scheme that they could use for their priestly robes?

Temples: Where are the religion’s places of worship? They could be secluded and secret or in/near cities. What do they look like? Are they merely household shrines or grand cathedrals? Do they have any distinguishing features?

Religious Practices

Rites and Rituals: What sorts of special ceremonies do the clerics of your religion practice? Are there any special material components that have meaning for the religion, deity, and ceremony? How long do ceremonies take and what is supposed to come from them? Rituals always serve a purpose, even if that purpose is merely affirming your faith. Rituals are useful as story elements as well as for players to perform.

  • Affirming Faith: telling your god you’re there and in prayer. It can be as simple as a daily prayer or weekly ceremony or more in-depth like a monthly or yearly ritual.
  • Proving Devotion: proving your faith to your god, usually meant for those who might be in doubt or who have wavered.
  • Initiation: rituals for new members to the religion.
  • Induction: rituals for new clergy members or clergy moving up in hierarchy.
  • Satiation: your deity demands sacrifice of something valuable to you or to it.
  • Boon/Blessing: the ritual seeks something of your deity, perhaps a bountiful harvest or victory in battle.
  • Magic: a ritual might be held to cast certain spells or perhaps to increase the power or scope of a spell. These can also be used in creation of magic items.
  • Healing: rituals for performing healing magic.
  • Funerals: ceremonies for the dead.
  • Marriage: ceremonies for binding individuals together spiritually

Holy Days: Often rituals can coincide with special days or times of the year. Holy days can be predicted and often signify important seasonal or historic events. Harvest, springtime, solstice, and equinox holy days are common, as are those commemorating the deaths of martyrs or important dates in the religion’s history.

Myths/Legends: Are there any stories or parables that your religion teaches? What stories of the gods do they tell? Do they have any specific myths relating to things like the creation of the world, the creation of elements, the invention of everyday things, or perhaps the invention of morality?

Prayers/Sayings: To help you roleplay priests of this religion, you can come up with some common greetings, farewells, and blessings that might be associated with the religion. “Pelor shines upon you” and whatnot.

People

Titles/Hierarchy: What are the ranks of the clergy and do they have any special titles? Are there any notable NPCs in the religion’s hierarchy? For instance, those that worship Mammon, the archdevil of greed are often called Covetors.

Clergy: Do the clergy perform any services for the rest of the population? Usually this involves healing or holding ceremonies, but they could have a broader scope in a theocracy or a narrower scope if secluded or unpopular. What do the clergy look like and wear? Do they favor certain classes other than clerics?

Worshippers: What sort of people are drawn to the religion? Are there certain races, classes, or kingdoms that worship them? What convinces them to follow the religion’s dogma? Is it out of fear, necessity, protection, comfort, or prosperity?

Relations: Does this religion have allies or enemies? These could either be allied or rival churches, deities, or religions. Furthermore, certain kingdoms or people could ally with or oppose the religion. Think of how each faction and religion in your world sees this religion.

Culture

Art: How does your religion express itself? Define your religion’s art, architecture, fashion, and songs and how they compare to other religions and cultures.

Relics: What sorts of holy relics belong to your religion? These can be body parts or objects belonging to important martyrs or high priests or heroes that champion the religion. These might be kept in temples or may have been lost to time. Perhaps some are magic items being used by chosen (or unscrupulous) adventurers.

Yet another 100 magic items! I’m procrastinating on classwork.

Note: These range from common to uncommon. In general, their cost can be higher than what it says on the sheet (about as much as 500 gp, for more powerful objects or settings where magic is rarer). They are intentionally vague at times, so that the DM can fill in whatever details are appropriate.

Thank you so much for 8,000 followers!

I’m sorry for how hastily this homebrew and the art was throw together, but I really never expected to get to this point. I know, I’ve said it before. But I really feel like I should say it again. I started this blog as a spot for me to keep track of my homebrew, and I never realized it would be such an inspiration for others and so helpful. Every ‘I’m going to use this’ in the tags or ‘@’ of a friend on my posts makes my day. I’m so glad to see my homebrew shared and used and I honestly can’t thank you guys enough. I can say without a doubt that this blog wouldn’t exist without your support, questions, and requests. Even when I can’t get any posts up in an entire week, even when I forget to respond to asks, you guys are supportive. 

I can’t say much other than thank you, but I wanted to show that in a homebrew. So let’s have a toast. A toast to you guys, from the Grinning Wyrm with a glass of magical champagne and some oddly named tonics.

Thank you <3

I will try to post some backstory on the Grinning Wyrm soon, if that interests anyone! (Which I meant to include on this post, but it’s rather late and I should get to bed).

I did this Seedling Race on commission for http://eternalgirlscout.tumblr.com/. It’s a hybrid Dryad-Halfling, and was a lot of fun to work on. A good break from one of the more intense projects I’ve been working through as of late.

Feel free to use as you like. Pdf will be made available as part of the race compendium I’m working on

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D&D 5e Character Creation Flow Charts: Backgrounds and Classes This only includes the backgrounds included in the Player’s Handbook Mind you, so no SCAG options. Class one doesn’t assume archetype obviously.  A fun little project I made after work today, I thought it might be helpful for players newer to the system in choosing their character’s options, or just a fun little tool.

This is neat

i was literally searching for something like this a couple of days ago. i WILL be using this when i have newbies to run through a game!