i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands
nothing couldve prepared me for the last sentence
im literally forever obsessed with this because it implies the following:
We don’t have normal gods, or even evil gods… The Pantheon of This Hellsite:
Gaud and Pukicho: Twin Gods of Insanity and Chaos
BadJokesByJeff: God of Humor
One-Time-I-Dreamt: God of Night and Dreams
Writing-Prompt-S: God of Creativity
All The Tumblr Sexymen: Angels and Minions
“Staff“: The Evil God
P.M. Seymour: Messenger of the Gods
Snom: The Holy Prophet of all Cuteness
Life sucks? Food you eat sucks? Just call it a feast. Feast on those cheerios, that’s a fucking feast. chortle a little, slap your big tummy and go MM MMM!
This literally helps so much you don’t even know
I am literally free therapy.
Proof that people will literally do anything in times of desperation
There’s a tornado warning out (two, technically), so of course I went for a walk outside to see if I could spot it. Never have I seen so many of my neighbors at one time, when there wasn’t a firework show or a picnic.
There was a tornado warning and a bunch of people gathered outside to set off fireworks. I wish I was kidding.
How cool would it be to shoot fireworks into a tornado?
Yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post
peace and love on earth
My tumblr is dangerously close to becoming a capybara blog
sometimes i try to guess what the audio to weird videos will be, before turning it on
didn’t expect this one. not complaining either
girl why are you 30 and on a site where teenagers yell at each other? im sorry but complaining about being called old or whatever on here is like going to a chuck e. cheese’s and getting upset when the kids there call you a granny
Honey, this site’s been around since you were in grade school. I’ve been here longer than you, and MOST of tumblr has been here longer than you. The vast majority of users on tumblr are over 25. Sorry to burst your bubble. :)
I think I was 22 when I made my own account but I’ve been on this blue hell since I was 19 😱
I’ve been here so long I can’t remember when I made my account. Now I feel like an old man trying to stay hip. :/
I’m still hip with it, yo.
you know we ballin’
Oh and
Cats can eat eggs?
i have a cat who eats asparagus.
My cat breaks into cupboards for tomatoes
RUTHLESS
I love her
I saw this in one of my sociology classes. In case you’re wondering she didn’t apologize.
white girl: *cries b/c she’s used to that working*
Jane Elliot:
We did a experiment like this when I was in the FIFTH GRADE. And this same shit happened, a lil white boy got fed up and left the classroom. Like could you prove the point any easier?
Favorite video on the internet
Wait for it.
this is not an ordinary cat petting video, this is advanced
press power button for 30 seconds to initiate power cycling
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.
A hero
