constant existential crisis

been you all along

When Helen shows up at his door, she's crying silently, her nose red and her eyes puffy.

She's also holding a sleeping baby to her chest, its head resting on her thin shoulders. Bradley stares at them both, stunned.

"I can't do this," she tells him, a shaking hand coming up to wipe the tears off her cheeks.

The words send a shiver down his spine. Helen not only sounds tired and terrified out of her mind, but also so, so sure.

"Do what? Helen-"

"I can't raise a kid on my own," she whispers, "I don't want to raise a kid on my own, Bradley. I don't know how to be a mom."

"Wait-"

"All her papers are here- I signed everything, so you have full custody-"

"-wait-"

"Everything I bought for her is in this bag-"

"Helen!"

She stops speaking, swallows, then puts the empty car seat she's been holding down on the ground. Her hands aren't shaking anymore, and neither is her voice. "If you don't want to keep her, you can give her up for adoption, or put her in foster care."

Her.

A little girl.

He has a little girl.

jake makes a tiktok “things my boyfriend has done that altered my brain chemistry” about bradley

- his moustache froze when we went skiing in a really cold country

- tried to run really sexy baywatch toward me on the beach and fell flat into him face

- thought the horses on my farm laid eggs

- lit the wrong end of his cigarette when smoking and then when he turned it around burnt the tips of his moustache off

- is 35 and still has beef with his uncle

- calls my chest “mommy milkers”

- refuses to go to sleep or let me leave for work unless i give him a forehead kiss

- cannot cook any meal except for noodles and he even burns those most of the time

- has never bought something new in his life. all of his wardrobe is entirely thrifted or from his dad

- refused to get spotify until last year because it’s not “authentic” enough

- is like a dog and will have zoomies before bed when i cannot get him to calm down or go to sleep for an hour

- will not eat a proper meal unless supervised because he simply just forgets

- sends me video entries when either of us are deployed

Maverick and Rooster were panicking in that F-14, thinking that all hope was lost, that they were about to get shot at and they wouldn’t be making it this time…

Then Hangman went, “…Rooster, I love how you think getting shot by enemy aircrafts is gonna get you out of this relationship.”

Truly believe that Bradley is a bit of a mess when his loved ones get sick. Usually it’s not a problem because the dagger squad have pretty epic immune systems from spending months at a time on a carrier, but one winter Jake comes down with the flu.

Bradley barely lets him out of his sight. He sets timers on his phone for when Jake needs to take his medicine, makes chicken soup, puts cool washcloths on Jake’s head when his fever spikes, runs him a bath, essentially turns their couch into a blanket fort so Jake can binge some tv shows.

At first Jake thinks the extra attention is sweet (and makes ‘mother hen’) jokes. But on the second night at 3 am, Jake wakes up, reaches over for Bradley and finds the other half of their bed empty. He pulls a blanket around him and shuffles into the hallway when he hears a sob from the living room.

He finds Bradley on the floor, tears streaming down his face and a cell phone pressed to his ear. He had called Mav during a panic attack, remembering they thought Carole’s cancer was a virus at first. Jake pulls Bradley into his arms and Mav promises to be there the next morning so they can both get some rest. They hang up and Bradley tries to apologize but Jake just pulls him closer, promising him he’s going to be okay.

And as Jake’s hands run through Bradley’s hair and his breathing slows, he starts to believe him.

the end of an era 🥺

Top Gun and Top Gun: Maverick as Brooklyn Nine-Nine quotes

~

(Rooster after getting accused of something that went wrong at Ice and Mav’s wedding)

Rooster: Be very careful about throwing around accusations like that, because if you’re trying to say that I somehow ruined my dads’ wedding, then I am going to kill myself.

~

(Phoenix and Rooster fighting)

Phoenix: DO I LOOK LIKE JAKE TO YOU!?

Rooster: No, not at all!

Phoenix: THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SCREW ME!?

~

(Ice after getting yelled at)

Ice, talking about his shirt: It says, “what’s up beaches” instead of, “bitches,” for humour reasons.

Slider: But you hate humour!

Ice: Well im a joke now! So, it suits me.

~

Phoenix: You need to man up.

Rooster: Man up? sexist!

Rooster: I’m sorry, but i dont see gender, sir.

~

Maverick: Permission to take a selfie of the two of us, sir?

Cyclone: Permission denied.

Maverick, already taking the picture: Too late.

Maverick, looking at his phone and walking away: Ahhh, that was a good one.

~

Hangman: Did you finish your sentence? It felt like you were gonna say you were sorry.

Rooster: I did. Bob heard it.

Bob: Uh, I would remember if someone said my catchphrase.

~

Maverick: People fear me.

Maverick: Not brag, but I was name checked in my kindergarten teacher’s suicide note.

~

Maverick: I think I really would’ve gotten along with young Cy Simpson.

Cyclone: Yes, that’s why I decided to change everything about my life.

~

(Bradley after causing Mav and Ice to argue)

Bradley: Oh, I’ve caused a problem.

Bradley: I think I am… getting a text message.

Bradley: bloop

Bradley: Ah, there it is.

~

Phoenix: Wait, are you only hosting dinner so you can suck up to Mav and Admiral Kazansky? Not cool. This was supposed to be about friendship.

Rooster: You guys said you were only coming to see if my apartment was the reason that I was single or if it was my personality, “like you suspected.”

Hangman: Yeah, but that was before we knew we could get up on this high horse.

Phoenix: Love the view up here. Clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop.

~

Iceman: When people say, “good morning,” they mean, “hello.” When people say, “how are you?” They mean, “hello.”

Iceman: When people say “what’s up?”

Iceman: They mean, “I am not a person worth talking to.”

~

Slider, talking to Maverick: No hard feelings, but,

Slider: I hate you.

Slider: Not joking.

Slider: Bye!

~

Halo, leaving Top Gun base and taking her hair out: sighs

Fritz: That was a wig?

Halo: You didn’t think I’d put my actual hair in a bun?

Halo: Are you insane?

~

(before Bradley was born)

Goose: What if something happens to Mav and he never gets to meet my baby?

Goose: I don’t wanna hang out with some stupid baby who’s never met Mav.

~

(before the mission)

Hangman: If you wanna worry about anyone panicking in the sky it should Bob.

Bob: Damn straight.

Hangman and Bob high five

Bob: …Wait why’d I high five that?

Hangman: ‘Cause you’re a sucker for a high five.

Bob:

Bob, in an excited tone: Damn straight I am.

They high five again

~

(Hangman and Coyote in flight school before they got their call signs)

Hangman: Okay, just so we’re clear, from this point forward, my call sign will be Deathblade

Coyote: And I’ll be Rum Tum Tugger!

Hangman: No, Javy, no characters from Cats. Dig deep, think of something scary!

Coyote, immediately after: Adolf Hitler.

Hangman: No—

this is basically just the main characters from the movies. im srry😭

Okay we need to clear this up about hangster/icemav parallels. HANGMAN IS MAV CODED NOT ICE CODED. They're both cocky asf.

Drunk Rooster: Stripes and stars are, well and fine but the malewives, wingmen are forever.

Hangman: Bradshaw, that better not be your proposal

Coyote: Holy shit Jake that was a haiku say yes

When Bradley and Jake slept together for the first time since the mission, Jake was worried that it would be a one night stand. That worry was squashed however, when he woke up to use the bathroom in the morning and Bradley had left a blue toothbrush out for him, with a note saying "I hope you like blue, because that's going to be your colour from now on :)"

Glen Powell and Miles Teller have weekly calls where they kick their legs and giggle and twirl their hair while reading Hangster fics to each other

Rewatching TG:M (again, some more) and I think the following things are hilarious:

1. The completely sexless way Rooster pats Phoenix on the arm after she gets him with the pool cue. Like it could have been sexy? But Miles (and the gay stage direction??) was like, Nope, Rooster’s saving his sexual tension for the blonde bitch boy over there! 

2. The absolute misery on Cyclone’s face anytime anyone mentions damaging one of the planes. When Mav mentions bending the frame, it looks like it literally hurts his soul! He’s such a government bitch, he’s wonderful 😭😭😭

Watching a video of former Air Force and Navy pilots breaking down TGM and see even more people easily picking up on Hangster/Sereshaw. Mind you that’s not even the point of the video and they still point it out. The writers had to be going for this subtext because it’s just painfully obvious at this point, not that I’m complaining :)

I just have a lot of thoughts about how the dagger squad is so focused on Hangman and Rooster getting their shit together that none of them think ahead and realize the After is so. much. worse.

Because Hangman and Rooster bicker just as much as usual but now it has this added flirty/suggestive tone to it that can only really be described as foreplay and it’s just. nauseating.

Fanboy sends a picture of them practically grinding on each other near the juke box at the Hard Deck to the group chat with the caption “right in front of my salad.”

When the squad gets deployed, Hangman and Rooster share a room. Payback shares a wall with them. He buys noise canceling headphones the minute he is back on shore incase this ever happens again.

Bob gets Rooster for secret Santa and gives him a gift certificate to get his car detailed because he once saw the two of them getting it on in the back of the Bronco.

Phoenix and Coyote’s BFF support team dinners have gone from ‘we can’t take the pining anymore’ to ‘we can’t take the heart eyes anymore’. One time they kill three bottles of wine and spend the dinner doing imitations of Hangman and Rooster calling each other ‘baby’ and ‘sweetheart’ and ‘darlin’.

They all make a show about how annoying it is to be around two people so disgustingly in love, but when Hangman and Rooster get engaged, no one cries harder than the five of them.

Hangman: Rooster, be a better person.

Rooster: okay, but WHY?

Hangman: Because someone needs to have morals in this relationship and it sure as fuck ain't gonna be me sweetheart.