The Cooler Devil

watercolours, ink & marker

@gallusrostromegalus Got inspired by your fic. It's so crazy, it fits Zaraki perfectly.

aaaaah!!! so cool! I see the 3 of Lesbians and the Nametag and I think the Mirror, but I'm not sure?

In the latest installment of me Terrorizing Medical Professionals, I got my Wisdom Teeth extracted because one decided to be an asshole and the other 3 were pending assholery, and demonstrated to my dentist that it's entirely possible to out-metabolize Ketamine if you start moving ASAP and also have a freakishly powerful liver.

So yesterday I had my one-month Checkup. It went pretty great, and the dentist asked if any part of my mouth was bothering me.

"Yeah, there's a sharp bit of bone coming out through the side from the extraction in my lower right jaw. The bone spur itself doesn't hurt, but it keeps cutting my tongue, so can you just pull it?" "Oh. Sure! Let me go get everything to do that." she said, and went to go get the tools for the extraction.

...Then there was some kind of confusion at the front desk I could overhear, with someone showing up with an urgent problem and they had to juggle the available staff, so she came back a bit later with the Pliers, said something about something taking "long enough" and went in.

It came out in two pieces, and the most discomfort I had was like, a 3/10 from the extraction itself, but mostly from keeping my mouth open.

...About halfway through, the Hygienist came in, apologizing for being late getting back from the front desk.

"Oh good, you have her the Novocaine!" the hygienist sighs with relief.

"What?" Said my dentist.

"What?" said the hygienist.

Both of them turn to look at the very full syringe on the tool table behind me.

"Honestly this is bothering me way less than the shot would." I said, lightly dribbling blood, and they both turn to me in horror.

"I really hate needles." I explain.

"What." says the dentist.

"Woah." Says the hygienist. "You would have done great in like, The Civil War."

Which is probably the funniest thing anyone's every said about my dangerously high pain tolerance.

Anyway, it was a one-off issue, and a non-issue for me because I think a normal person would have stopped her, so I go back in August if she doesn't recommend me to someone else for terrifying her twice in as many visits.

5/11/24: Soo I just got the bill for this nonsense and despite my Dentist's best efforts and really good insurance, this is going to run me about $1500 that I do not have. I could really use some help rn: Ko-Fi

I GOT TO SEE THE AURORA BOREALIS!! EVEN OVER THE DENVER LIGHT POLLUTION!!!

Apparently the Aurora borealis is still going to be visible tonight, so I'm going to try driving somewhere in the mountains to get out of the light pollution.

An amorphous black blob thingy that shape-shifts into any hazard related thing.

The Hazard Monster also has the ability to change the reaction of their body. Examples include:

There are other examples of reactivity, but I don’t wanna draw them

TIL that there's an '80s movie where they portrayed Smilodon by sticking actual fake teeth onto actual live lions.

So I learnt about this as part of a paleontology lecture talking about how it became accepted that saber teeth don't hinder the animals ability to eat

Citation - those people who stuck some on real lions which were able to eat without problems once they got used to them

Impractical effects

Libraries with a sense of humour.

AEIWAM canon fun fact for no reason: Zaraki Kenpachi 100% fully believes in, and practices, tarot reading.

The deck he's using is, of course, completely sideways of a conventional tarot. There are no suits, not properly faces, as the deck is entirely comprised of Cards* that he picked up at some point and felt a connect with.

The Garbage Tarot is accurate to the point of violence, will happily tell people about the present or past but gets huffy and sarcastic if you try to prognosticate too much or too specifically. It will never tell anyone how they will die but will practically spell the name and address of who they're going to marry. Or murder. Sometimes both. You get to figure that part out, asshole.

It also seems to work only for Zaraki- even touching the deck can lead to disaster, at least according to Renji who tried to use it once and immediately had the worst run of luck of his life for a week that culminated in a monkey attack and having to get the rabies shots.

Despite its accuracy and the fact it shares Zaraki's peculiar sense of humor, he doesn't use it often. "I ask it when it's an emergency or it tells me it's got news. Otherwise, it's resting. What would happen if you kick in my door in the middle of the night to ask me about your love life? I'd fuckin' castrate you, that's what. Leave it."

* "Cards" here meaning "approximately 3x5 inch flat rectangle-ish objects with two different sides that can be shuffled. This includes, but is not limited to: beer mats he scribbled important names and addresses on, Smutty polaroids he found in the back of a desk drawer, a Christmas card, a compact mirror, laminated natural objects like flowers and snakeskin, swathes of fabric, tile, the checkout cards from Library copies of famous literature, postcards, business cards, academic flash cards, the very small menu of a seafood restaurant, and a handful or normal playing and tarot cards just to be funny.

It makes a horrible noise when shuffled.

Mayuri despises it, calling it superstitious bullshit and refusing Zaraki's offer to do a reading before an important project. Mayuri flounced from the building in disgust, and as soon as he set a toe outside, he was strick by lightning.

Unohana was disappointed that he'd believe in cartomancy at first but she's kept careful notes on the results of the draws and how things turn out and there's always an element of confirmation bias but she's slightly alarmed that it may actually work. To be fair, that would only be the fourth or fifth most improbable thing about Zaraki.

7.3K of a Load-Bearing scene in AEIWAM under the cut. There *are* spoilers, but like the characters, you have No Context for them. :)

---

“I believe that concludes our briefing.” Yamamoto nodded. The captains and lieutenants had all been gathered in the captain-general’s quarters to go over The Plan For Aizen's Assault One More Time before the battle tomorrow. “Goodnight, and good luck.” The venerable captain-general bowed his head.

There was scattered muttering wishing everyone else good luck as well, but nobody actually got up to leave. Everyone was looking to everyone else, and the longer it went on, the more tense it got.

“That was everyone's cue to get out of my house.” Yamamoto grunted.

I made an Angel Generator last night! I'm currently working on a better one (and an eventual demon generator tbh) but I thought it'd be fun to share the old version! And also that I'd get a kick out of seeing peoples' interpretations of their angels.

It assigns a body type, size and what its skin is made out of, among other things. Also (somewhat) custom palettes! I picked every fucking shade myself and painstakingly pasted their hexcodes into this thang. Enjoy!

Did a rough rendition of the guy I got for fun. I could elaborate on this design later but I have a lot to do this week lmao

@clannfearrunt it's not exactly ya boi but it's close