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fuck perfection

@gabysimmons99-blog

I'm a fucked up teenage trying to survive society ✌ idgaf anymore
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When you’re being emotionally abused by someone it is insanely hard to call that person out on their abusive behavior. The reason for that is cause you know as soon as you do, they will just turn it all around and make it all your fault and disregard your feelings and the problem you were initially trying to fix. Not to mention they will probably try and make you feel like shit for even bringing it up.

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Loss, in my experience, is never easy. You’ll learn to associate their name with the burning of bile in your throat. You’ll find yourself crying with no memory of what even triggered it. You’ll want to scream and cry but instead find yourself numb, struggling to even get through the motions. But keep going. Even if it means sobbing as you cook dinner. Or clenching your fists so hard the palm of your hand bleeds on your way to work. Or breaking down in the shower so you can pretend the tears aren’t real. But they are. And this is real and everything you are feeling is real. My mum once told me ‘the only way out is through’ and I swear if you keep pushing through this utter shittiness, one day the thought of them will sting less. And one day you’ll hear their name and the first thought that comes to you won’t hurt. Your life hasn’t stopped just because theirs has. I promise.
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What a beautiful mess. How beautiful something can be after being hidden away for so long A mess A mess with flowers growing in her hair and butterflies escaping from her mouth everytime she speaks How something so beautiful can be so sad And can feel so lonely And so unwanted. What a beautiful tragic mess.