take it.

THIS IS A FREE DOWNLOADABLE PDF OF THE BOOK BTW you don't have to pay for it!!

link above broken. got another here. 1. Download the zip 2. Extract 3. Password: Tumblrina (my wife suggested it :3) lemme know if it breaks again.

i wish the period blood came out all at once like a shotgun blast

it's berry season here. i've eaten so many berries. i have a 5 pound box of blueberries next to me now.

berry time

Whatcha got there?

NOT FOR BEAR!!!

RUDE

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK???????????

His name is Mehdat Mamdouh, he’s a 22-year-old hip hop and dubstep recorder player from Cairo.  He’s been teaching himself this style since he was 14.  This article links to his social media sites.  He’s on Facebook and YouTube and Soundcloud.

I think I missed his name and info last reblog

Fuck yes. That’s some talent!

Reblogging this again for his name and info.

Like, this is epic and all, BUT LOOK AT HIS SMILE AT THE END OMG I AM IN LOVE

Look how amazing!!!

harmonics !!!

honestly would put this on repeat

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Sorry babe I'm pondering my orb this weekend. You know how it is

i do not think that’s an officially-sanctioned wizard orb

well you’re one to talk

I SUMMON KETAMINE APE

THATS NOT LEGAL

ATTACK!!

ATTENTION: THE COUNCIL HAS DETECTED AN ILLEGAL SPELL. DISPEL KETAMINE APE OR FACE THE FULL PENALTY OF WIZARD LAW

IM LAUGHINGGGG THIS US SO FUCKING FUNNY

Pokemon Heritage Post

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

I really hope its not too bad bc i actually love both components.

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

Unanimous consensus: Do not do this

Other people: Hold on I’m about to do this

Rip to y'all, but I'm built different. Trying this tonight

Best I can do with what I have (I'm at work rn)

Oh that is a... fascinating smell

Don't do this

i think i'll try this tomorrow actually, it can't be that bad, im sure ive made worse cursed foods before

the time has come

i just did this twice this shit tastes great idk what's wrong with yall

i think im gonna drink more of this later i wonder what happens if i add vodka

@anais-ninja-bitch

oh no! i do not want to be responsible for killing maia!

oh no! i do not

want to be responsible

for killing maia!

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

i found it

the original post

i found it

this should have the opportunity to be on everyone’s blog. 

*tour guide voice*

and here on the left ladies and gentlemen, you see one of the posts before everyone went batshit crazy

World Heritage Post

Everyone here is dead.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

Tintin remembers what comes after 15.

FUCKING HELL IT’S BACK FROM LAST YEAR

This literally gets reblogged every 15th of the month. It’s almost two years old. It’s beautiful.

listen up ya’ll this post is 6 years old now and you’re still reblogging it. every month. once a month, my notifications blow up for this one video, but only until the 16th. then the notes on this vid completely stop. it’s so eerily spot on and impressive how you just all collectively know what to do. if I’m not online, people irl still remind me that it’s the 15th. thank you for six surreal years of me wondering if I completely fucking lost it. here’s to the 15th

Ten years of celebrating the 15th, everyone

HAPPY 10 YEARS OF THE 15TH, EVERYONE. I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS IS STILL HAPPENING.

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

Radish. Answer the question radish.

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

Its takes less than a minute

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

Like seven minutes

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS'N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

I’m sorry but the THOUGHT that has been put into this, I actually CAN’T—

The fact that nearly every line is so metrically considered- near perfect iambic pentameter witb the occasional trochee for emphasis, but usually retaining a strong sense of rhythm nonetheless. And then the king comes in at the end, so wound in his disbelief that his response is reduced to prose.

And the even better thing about this is how easy it would have been to structure the king’s line into iambic pentameter: it is effectively already said as such because of the way wizardlyghost has phrased it, yet they haven’t!! They did not break the line, rendering what, by all typically of both Shakespearean canon and other periods context should be the character with the most command and authority in the whole play. If there was ever a more effective way to convey a genuine “what the fuck??”, I know of it not.

But it gets better!! Shakespeare regularly uses meter in order to represent class divide; the nobility usually speak in iambic pentameter, save for a few particularly chosen moments (e.g. Lady Macbeth’s descent into madness, Othello’s realisation of Desdemona’s “betrayal”) or just lines where Shakespeare needs to suggest high emotion or when a character is lost in thought. Supernatural characters like the fairies in A Midsummer Night’s Dream and the Witches in Macbeth usually speak in trochaic tetrameter, an inversion of iambic pentameter. Lower class characters, particularly those used for comic relief (usually under the influence of alcohol), speak with no structure at all: their language is plain prose. Therefore, if this is a conversation between these types of characters, as the prompt from silvergirachi suggests, why the hell are the characters speaking so eloquently???

Now, this is Tumblr. It is subsequently logical to assume that this may have merely been a humorous recreation (and a very good one at that) of the Shakespearean style in a way that is widely recognisable to an audience that may or may not have read a great deal of Shakespeare, which is understandable. However, logic is boring so I’m going to probe further into this to the point where future historians will look to this as an example of overanalysing.

The inherent eloquence of the characters here suggests an unusual subversion of the roles typically assumed in Shakespearean comedy. This could be interpreted along two major avenues: firstly, that the rhetoric displayed by the speakers is fundamentally representative of how truth can be expected even from the most seemingly pointless or ludicrous discussions. Furthermore, it could suggest that it matters not how well constructed your speeches are: if you talk bullshit, it’s going to sound that way despite your attempts to hide it.

This is similar but not identical to the second avenue of interpretation: there is the implication that the noblemen in the play are in fact the comic relief characters, therefore implying that the “common people” of the play are the ones whose influence, though not expressed in such a highly spoken manner, makes a lot more sense than whatever the hell this is. If this was a real Shakespeare play, I would call it a subtle exploration into the innate corruption of the rich and powerful. Well done, op.

Now, I doubt any of this is actually grounded analysis in any way, shape or form, but if someone else can take this to the extremes of writing a Shakespearean scene, why can I not analyse it as such? And where else to do so than Tumblr?

im in tears i didnt think anyone would put this much analysis into this‚ thank you so much

why did she need to make this so beautiful I got goosebumps because of a song with lyrics about having to deal with weird customers

ridiculous 

She committed a crime omfg

Now THIS is quality television.

Tumblr. I have a proposal for you.

If you vote on this poll, for ingredients for bread, I will make the bread and attempt to eat it.

Astronomy I-

Archaeology: it is mandatory, it is ritualic.

Fun fact about archeology!

if it's a rock and you lick it, your tongue got a little dirty.

If it's a bone, it sticks to your tongue.

Bones remember being inside a body where they could be wet all the time, and they want to return to that state.

Cheers science side of Tumblr. Never say that again though

this is potentially really important:

I have someone staying in my hotel tonight that made me think that this would be worth sharing here.

If you are running away/trying to hide from someone that is frightening, abusing, harassing you, and you find yourself staying in a hotel to avoid being found, there’s an extra precaution you can take.

When you check in, ask the front desk clerk to put you as “Unlisted”. They’ll know what you’re talking about. What this means is that as far as anyone other than you and the front desk clerks are concerned, you’re not there. If someone tries to call for you and your room, “I’m sorry. I don’t have anyone registered under that name.” Same thing goes for it someone shows up at the desk. “Unlisted” means you’re untouchable.

Please, please, if you find yourself in trouble and seeking refuge in a hotel, do this. It’s really quick, easy, and painless for the front desk clerk to do, and they are not going to judge you for it. 

Tip from a hotel receptionist: (I work for the Green and Blue ending in Express- hotels will vary but this is generally a Thing hotels do.)

If you tell the front desk you do not wish to be contacted, they can and will put a note to everyone else who works there that unless you SPECIFICALLY say that a certain person is allowed to call/come up to your room, they will not let ANYONE near your room- ID will be checked for that person for your safety. If someone asks for you by name that isn’t allowed to know you’re there, the staff will simply say “There is no one here by that name.” If they press, the staff will insist no one is there and they need to leave. Also, housekeeping will be informed of your desire to be left alone and will announce at the door that they are housekeeping, for your peace of mind.

A good tip is to have someone else drive you to the hotel if you’re able- that way your harasser cannot find your car and wait by it for you. Also, if you CAN, stay in a hotel where all the room are indoors- usually smaller indoor hotels do not let non-guests past the lobby, especially if they ask for someone/someone’s room number. Third floor helps, too- at my hotel, we usually put people who are hiding from abusers on the third floor at the end- since you can’t enter the side doors without a key and the elevator is in the middle of the hotel. Always check to see if the outside doors are key-access only, and make sure you know where the elevators are, and see if you can get a room closer to the more secure area! 

Also, if you know their car, or the car of anyone they know and might use, tell the receptionist, especially if you think they may come looking for you. Tell the receptionist what it looks like. If you see it, or if they see it circling the hotel or in the parking areas, they can and will call the police if you need them to. I myself have called the police to chase off an abuser who wouldn’t stop circling the hotel. 

Sadly, this is not an uncommon thing, and since I started working at a hotel, I’ve seen my hotel shelter no less than six people fleeing from abusers/stalkers etc, but everyone at the front desk was accommodating and protective- just let the staff know you’re at risk, and they’ll do everything they can to keep you safe.  

I used to work in hotels for like 10 years, and if you’re running from an abuser, DEFINITELY tell the staff. If the series of hotels I worked at are any indication, a lot of the desk and housekeeping staff have been exactly where you are and know exactly what you’re going through. We were trained to protect your privacy and safety, and most of us would take that shit PERSONALLY when it went down. 

Make a special point to tell the night shift desk worker, though. If there’s going to be one person who’s accidentally left out of the loop, it’ll be them every time. That said, the night shifters are usually also prepared to deal with just about any bullshit and con that your abuser will offer. We have seen it all. 

As a former hotel front desk worker on the night shift, all of this is 100% true and you should use it for your own safety.

As a current worker in a large ER/Trauma Center, DO IT IN HOSPITALS TOO!  If you’re running away from an abusive situation, the chances are high that you need to seek medical care for injuries sustained from your abuser.  The moment you check in, you have two options:

1) Ask to be listed as a Private patient.  This means that there will be a red flag on your name for EVERY SINGLE STAFF MEMBER in the hospital and if anyone shows up looking for you or calls the hospital asking about you, you don’t exist.  You will have an option to list a password if there are one or two people you DO want to visit you or receive updates about you, but you’ll need to provide the password to those individuals on your own; the hospital won’t do it for you.  The hospital will never acknowledge to anybody that you’re there, unless that person gives the password unprompted (as in, we can’t ask them for the password - they have to volunteer it without suggestion from us).  Unlike a hotel, if a hospital breaks this policy they can be subjected to absolutely massive federal fines.

2) Ask to be listed as an Alias patient.  This means that we will literally change the name in your medical chart and not change it back until after you’ve been discharged.  For the duration of your stay, you will be listed under a fake name.  This will NOT list you as Private so anyone calling or showing up and asking about your pseudonym WILL be told that you’re there, but they would have to know said pseudonym ahead of time.  Hospitals use this function for celebrities, people in political power, high-ranking members of the organization (like the hospital CEO), and - most commonly - regular members of staff who don’t want to let their colleagues know they’re being treated in the same facility where they work.  Usually, being listed as a Private patient is enough, but if you work at the hospital where you’ve sought treatment, I would highly recommend using an Alias.

THESE OPTIONS ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.  By that, I mean you CAN use both at the same time, and none of the hospital staff can tell you otherwise.  Whether or not you use either or both options is entirely up to YOU and whether you feel safe enough.  Take whatever measures necessary to protect yourself.

He made a sequel guys

The best comeback I’ve ever seen

ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.

black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.

bruce: how’d you get your scar?

zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.

bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that’s terrible. how do you feel about capes.

Zuko: Do you mind if I wear this blue demon mask?

Bruce: *sniff, tear in his eye* Not at all.

*Zuko fighting the Joker*

J: "wan na kno w h ow i go t thes e sc ar s"

Z: *rips off mask* i don't give a fuck

I’m still stuck at the “batman has adoption papers in his utility belt”.

“Quick, it’s time to use the Bat-adoption papers!”

Bat-option papers

Okay, but you’re missing the best part of this.

Alfred and Iroh complimenting each other on tea while they discuss their overly dramatic children.

iroh: once, i told zuko that he needs to work on his inter turmoil. he screamed at me that he had no such inner turmoil, and then proceeded to go to a cliff during a thunderstorm to scream at God to strike him with lightning

alfred: master bruce and i have that interaction at least three times per week.

@absentlyabbie​

I see your "Alfred and Iroh as tea bros" and raise you "Alfred and Iroh as tea rivals"

Consider

(later)

excellent addition

hey bruce spent a lot of his bat-study abroad in the far east and has kind of a weeb weapon collection so proposal, what if Bruce appreciates Iroh’s tea

while Zuko is enthusiastic about cream and sugar

further fueling their dad-figures’ passive-aggressive rivalry?

You had me at Zuko vs. Joker, I was crying by the Eastern vs. Western tea service

Wait a minute. Batman and Zuko have the same arch-nemesis.

Mark Hamill

Saw the last comment and my brain would not rest until it happened

this post has everything

this was an enjoyable ride. i liked the scenery very much. smooth suspension, nice height, several fascinating loops. 10/10 would go again.