Meeeeeeeeeeee printing strawberries at night
stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day
can axolotls survive in a gallon bucket of sprite
Yeah they can but you really shouldn't.
When I was little I wanted to be Italian REALLT badly bc I loved the movie cars and specifically had a crush on this fucking THING
Which doesn’t speak English at all, all it’s line are in Italian and it’s name is GUIDO. And everyone knew I was obsessed with Italy in elementary school but they didn’t know why bc I, even as a young autistic child, had the sense to know this was a rightfully so, highly mockable thing. So I would read about cars on IMDB and then one day someone posted a crackfic on the message boards there and it was about this guy getting drunk and beating his wife, and it snapped me out of my fugue long enough to realize how absurd wanting to be Italian was, but then it made me cry really hard and my parents were like ‘hey what the fuck’ and I didn’t have the chutzpah to admit anything so I told them I saw a naked lady online and then they went into the computer and found all the weird south park midi songs I downloaded on lime wire and I thought they were literally going to kill me for about two weeks.
The reason I was downloading South Park episodes and songs on limewire and frostwire was because I was also obsessed with Kenny McCormick and for school we had to make a shitty little website about a world issue, so I found this free platform that doesn’t exist anymore but it was like a horrible little wix site from the mid aughts, and we based my groups theme on global warming. But when we were done with it I repurposed it as a perosnal site and lied about being a voluptuous blonde 19 year old woman who worked at a fictitious restaurant called the lunchbox, and I just wrote about how obsessed I was with Kenny McCormick and my sister found it and was like what the fuck is wrong with you. But she never told my parents. She also found this 80 page story I was writing about buddy the elf and all my weird skater ocs breaking into the moulin rouge, and at one point I was sick of buddy so I had a herd of buffalo trample him in the middle of a city and it was very tragic but jarring and unexpected. And she referenced a part of the story to me and it made me SO fucking paranoid that I wiped our entire, family shared packard bell computer and got in huge fucking trouble for it.
It's me boy, the PS5,
Women are my favorite guy
Cowboy times, I'm wanting more
Leave the girl, stop the war
Boom, inside your brain go zoom
Play my games, feel the groove
Playstation 5 overload
Everybody MOOOOOVEMENT
Just .. one more ... minute on the couch .. please! -The Languid Lounger
you should be able take off or put on breasts or a penis any time you want like they're accessories
I uhhh got a little carried away
hiiiiiiiii it’s me again :3c
what car(s) are the most creachur to you? the definition of creachur can be as broad or as narrow as you like
the peel trident (red) and p50 (blue) are two of the smallest production cars ever made and they’re like bugs and critters to me. cars that scamper and scurry
i think people need to stop glorifying sassiness and bitterness and start promoting the idea of actually being fucking nice and civil to people who did nothing to you.
The thing about Peggy hill is you see her in some episodes and you might think well this woman has some lesbionic mannerisms. but the truth is she's just one of those very sporty southern moms who inexplicably gets away with not upholding their side of the gender roles even in communities where everyone is kinda expected to do that. Like she kinda gets to do what she wants. Cause she's Peggy that's just how Peggy is. And she has a husband and a kid so they're like ok fine I guess
Like if you told her she looked gay here she would laugh really awkwardly and be like Well, I hope you mean that as in "happy", because in that case I am positively gay. I am so gay and in love with my wonderful husband Hank. And Hank would be like *texan sigh* Peggy, You can't go around tellin people you're "gay" for me. People are gonna start to get the wrong idea. And then shed accuse Hank of being homophobic and double down
Anonymous asked:
please go outside
look at this rare snurp
