Me: Really wants a romantic relationship

Me: Never develops strong feelings for anyone

Me: 

you know when youre in the car and your parents break hard and they throw their arm over you for protection? I have same instinct with my take out food

how sexy do you even have to be, to be too sexy for your shirt

Teacher: *gives 25 minute speech about wasting time*  

When you’re introverted as fuck, and your friend drags you to a party and then leaves you by yourself

‘Im gonna need to see some ID sir’

hey sorry for not replying i didnt want to

everyone deserves to know someone who makes them go “!!!!!!!!!!!!” inside

Two graphics that explain active consent

This really confirms everything I’ve ever suspected about pigeons.

Me: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: I don't know, can you? Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

dumbass bird

It is not dumb it is making beautiful music

when u call for ur dog n u hear the lil pap pap pap of their feet as they come to u

reblog if u agree

IT’S SO HECKING CUTE YES

The white kid at the parties that thinks he could rap and always talks about the gov.

I am fuuuuucking dead

free him

*misses fruits that are out of season*