Microfiction: A story told in no more than one thousand words.

Nanofiction: A story told in no more than one hundred words.

PIcofiction: A story told in no more than ten words.

Femtofiction: A story told in no more than one word.

Attofiction: A story told in no more than one letter.

Zeptofiction: A story told in no more than one punctuation mark or diacritic.

Yoctofiction: A story told by gesturing helplessly toward one's keyboard.

"canthal tilt" "strawberry legs" "hip dips" "thigh gap" "cellulite" "preventative botox" "retinol"

what the fuck are you talking about you are a living breathing feeling animal that is part of an ecosystem and a food chain. you are alive. you are not a robot. you are not a doll.

and 14 YEAR OLDS SHOULD NOT HAVE ANTI AGING ROUTINES

This is a pro-aging blog. If you age I love you.

X

Ive been playing Portal 2 for the first time and im loving this new british orb thing they introduced hes my best friend

lets hear it for transgenderism and faggotry. can I get a round of applause for transgenderism and faggotry

Judge magazine, July 1926

BARBIE (2023) dir. Greta Gerwig

I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

FINE! I'll do it myself

Why did 12 people reblog this today??? IT IS ONLY AUGUST!!!

According to this site, August 1 is the first day of Halloween.

According to this

site, August 1 is the first

day of Halloween.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

they call me mr propaganda because i prop men up and have a ganda at their pretty eyes while i kiss them sweetly. is that anything .

this literally isn't anything but I'm gay so gonna hit rb regardless

they call me mr propaganda because gay people reblog my posts despite them being nothing

Cleaning with ADHD all about momentum. Its like being a shark, if you stop moving you just straight up die.

FUCK

NO

OHMYGOD

hit the reblog so fast i think i broke my mouse

holY F U cKKKKkKKKkkkkkKKKKK 

HOLY FUCK THIS KNOCKED MY SIDEWAYS

do yourself a favor and hit play. then reblog it for all to experience.

its back on my dash yes

O_O

I love it when people mash songs together. 

WHY DOES THIS SLAM SO HARD

This is the ultimate “it’s midnight and I’m walking through a shady part of town give me some Confidence for my Swagger” song.

#What three hours of sun does to a nation

iceland’s two seasons: hibernation and mania

Look at this cool new t-shirt I made for fans of Abraham Lincoln! I made it on my own time, with my own resources, and without any affiliation to existing public or private institutions concerned with history, education, hospitality, culture or retail. You can find it at my new Threadless shop or directly at bit.ly/imissabe

I think a fundamental part of online friendships that people ‘outside’ fail to understand is how comforting it is to have friends right there in your pocket who will keep you company in good times and bad, listen to your rants, let you vent, be supportive whilst offering outsider perspective…

Keep being amazing, pocket friends. You couldn’t possibly imagine how important you are.

For being a shadow and two dandelions, that is a surprisingly unnerving image.

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

putting them in the silly barbie movie outfits as if they were my own dolls

phoenix would absolutely make a patriarchy he wildly misunderstood to center around horses

boss makes a dollar I make a dime

flat top grill penis on company time

if you say so, tumblr user nutsacktorturer

im frying all of you on the penis griddle if you don't cut this shit out right now