Sony will remake The Princess Bride OVER MY DEAD BODY!

“what happened to you made you stronger” 

i was a child. i didn’t need to be strong i needed to be safe

LOUDER

and what ACTUALLY happens is that you develop strategies to make yourself feel safe and in control, but once you’re out of that situation those coping mechanisms can be negative and now you’ve never learned other strategies to take their place

bingo

The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS

1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.

2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.

3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.

4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again

5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out

6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead

7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard

8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.

9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals

10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks

11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped

12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home

13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.

14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near

15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again

16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds

Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking

I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say “no thanks” to everything else

…

HEY I JUST GOT HOME AND THE WOMAN IM ENTING MY ROOM FROM ANWERED THE DOOR IN A FULL VELVET CAPE AND SEVED ME WINE AS SOON AS I CAME IN AND SHE’S WACHING THE BLADE MOVIES SO WHEN I SAID THIS HOUSE IS SAFE FROM VAMPIRES I THINK THAT’S THE MOST WRONG IVE EVER BEEN

I REALLY did NOT know how to cope I said “I like your cape” (which is true it’s a great cape) and she said “here, have some wine” and I said “I need to study” and she said “not at all” and poured me like 1/3 of the bottle and I said “that’s a LOT of wine” and she said “it really isn’t” and sent me to my room with it.

Op is your landlady single

i??????? sksjsbzvsvshdhsbdb

update:

He did her right

“he”?

confirmed

floating loafs on several degrees of squish

reblog this post with a cool animal species lets make a wholesome thread

ok ill give a headstart:

i really like leopard seals 

axolotls are p rad

I LOVE THOSE

potoos look like muppets and i ove tem

here’s a quokka it’s like someone decided to splice together a wallaby and a teddy bear they literally always look like a benevolent cartoon

i don’t think you can get more wholesome than that adorable lil seed-eating smiley face. they’re not even like dolphins, cute on the outside and evil on the inside. they’re herbivores about the size of a cat. there is nothing wrong with them. 

The Springhaas, or “irl pikachu” as it is sometimes known, is basically a rat shaped like a bunny abruptly caught in the middle of trying to evolve into a kangaroo. This is why they tend to look startled.

This is a dik dik. They are tiny antelopes from southern and eastern Africa–seriously so smol. With teeny hooves and teeny horns and big soulful eyes. And the name is fun to say. It comes from the alarm call that the females make. They live together in monogamous pairs. 

Long Eared Jerboa

The adorable mash-up of a hamster, bunny, and kangaroo. Whiskers with no end, ears that put a fennec to shame, and adorability beyond measure!

bringing this back on your dashes

a sichuan takin bull and his daughter

often the color of donald trump’s hair and looking like a cross between a bison and a guinea pig, the takin is actually a bloody big goat-antelope. they have splendid noses, a natural smile, and share their habitat with pandas. which should be good enough for anyone.

This is an okapi. They are related to giraffe, can lick their own eyeballs and kind of always look like you just asked them for a ride to the airport but look at those ears and the little striped legs ~(*^*)~

Chambered nautilus! A living fossil! I also love axolotl though.

Originally posted by montereybayaquarium

A cinnamon bear! Actually a member of the black bear family, they’re one of the more calm species out there. We also have matching hair <3 Enjoy this one with a heart on its chest!

Red pandas!

Originally posted by cutestuffco

HIGHLAND COWS

This is the most wholesome post on tumblr.

I love echidnas

ESPECIALLY BABY ECHIDNAS

Fennec foxes!!

I love all of these!

Capybaras! They’re the largest cavy species,(cavies are animals like guinea pigs) They’re BASICALLY a giant golden retriever in the skin of  guinea pig.

MANATEES

Originally posted by lovefloridauk

They’re just big lumps that float around the sea. They’re non-aggressive, non-territorial herbivores that spend most of their time sleeping or eating, or they might be socializing with other manatees or investigating interesting objects.

Best of all, as of this year they are no longer endangered!!

Maine coons!! So soft and friendly!!!

Look at these babies!!!

Majestic af!!! 

MANED WOLF. Basically what a fox would look like if it was a supermodel.

Favourite post.

@geekwiththeglasses

Tawny Frogmouth “Owl” (not really an owl). I love these angry logs. Near my old house I used to be able to see them sleeping during the day (hence not an owl, who sleep in hollows), and they’d shoot me this intense rage-filled glare if I woke them. 

Coati! They are native to my country of Panama and they are basically raccon, possum, civet, meerkat hyrbid aka an animal straight outta Avatar the Last Airbended

They come in blonde and red variations too :)

This smol egg is called a pika

This is a baby South American Tapirs or Tapirus terrestris are unique for their stripes. It is also called Brazilian Tapir and is the second largest land mammal in South America next to the Baird’s Tapir.

Here’s a full grown one with it’s baby for reference.

And then there is the Malayan (or Asian) Tapir and it looks like a panda that mated with an anteater.

Pangolins, or as I like to call them, Spikier Armadillos.

Dragon headed caterpillars! :D

MANTA RAY

Bearded Dragons.

Cornsnakes!!

Kiwi bird! Running potatoes

Cacomixtle.

Fluffy tail, long ears, beautiful eyes, looks like a cat but is not a cat.

Look at this beautiful flower:

Malabar giant squirrels! (Also known as Indian giant squirrels) They’re purple and cream and are the size of a small cat!

The platypus!

a gharial!!! wtf do they expect do with that lil mouth!!!

Harp seals!! Soft round boys!

They’re all baby.

Bats.

@ms-cellanies this is up your alley.

The whole darn post is up my alley @nuggsmum.  I think every unusual animal I love is on this post.  Guess, since I’m a “cat” person I’ll add the elusive Sand Cat, found in the Sahara Desert through the Middle East to Turkestan.

Lokk at this adorable octopus! It was even named “adorabilis”!

Mongooses, for one. these lil bastards are like really long cats, and theyre immune to snake venom!

And desert rain frogs because theyre so Round

4/20? You mean 1/5 reduce your fractions did you even learn math

lesbians and bi women after confessing to a woman they like

Men in Black (1997) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

He was probably right, too.

I mean I’m p sure the whole point of that particular exercise was to see which of them would look past the “obviously monsters” and find the thing that was REALLY out of place.

So yeah. He was absoLUTELY right.

Why does one of Simba’s hammock-vines only have one side?  The middle one doesn’t go back up to the branch.

“Do you have a Ben Hur, 1860, third edition… with a duplicated line on page 116? Or a Chevalier Audubon, 1840?”

Dorothy Malone in The Big Sleep (1946) dir. Howard Hawks

This about sums it up.

You know that scene at the end of Lord of the Flies, when the sailor turns up and he’s all, “I say, what the devil’s been going on here?” and all the boys just mill around sheepishly, their orgy of violence and destruction now embarrassingly ridiculous in the face of civilised society?

This is that.

Source: [x]

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts!

This is true btw. I did a report about Ann Boney in school and Read actually liked her back so they ran away together and were considered the two most terrifying pirates across the seven seas

Lesbian Pirates

Give us this film

Just fyi - many of the illustrations and statues of them show them with their breasts exposed.  This is not because they are sexualising lesbians but because these women often used to open their shirts and expose a breast when they killed a man just so the man’s dying thought would be the realisation that he was killed by a woman.

tits out for murder!!! a true aesthetic!!!

TITS OUT FOR MURDER

I NEED THIS MOVIE

The Aristocats (1970) dir. Wolfgang Reitherman