people don’t spray paint “bad wolf” in cryptic areas like they used to
Zombie Worm: these little guys aren't so interested in brains, but love munching on bones! 2-7 centimeters (1 to 3 inches) long, they were first found 3,000 meters (10,000 feet) deep in the sea, living in a whale carcass' bones. Zombie Worms secrete acid that dissolves bone, leaving their symbiotic bacteria to consume fat and protein.
Giant Tube Worm: these cigarettes of the sea do not hunt for food, depending on internal bacteria to produce nutrients. The red, feathery plumes at the top of their tube are their gills, which can retract in case of nearby predators. They are found in underwater hot springs and are sensitive to shifts in volcanic activity.
Savage farmer
Just to put this in perspective, the school was making high school students pay the equivalent of $40/month for parking.
Stephanie “ So weird that I didn’t get the spark of the only two boys I kissed “ Brown. Girl, I think you might like girls is why you aren’t getting that spark. Try kissing Harper.
There they are
the boyest of bands
forgot the main boy
i love pitting classically trained magic users against self-taught magic users in sci-fi/fantasy but it shouldn’t be snobbish disdain for them it should be terror
“WHO TAUGHT YOU LIGHTNING BEFORE BASIC TELEKINESIS. LOSING MY MIND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST DID IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAST WITH YOUR BARE HANDS”
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU’VE ‘HACKED’ MANA DRAIN
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘DRINK SOME JUICE’
WHAT IS ‘LOW BLOOD SUGAR’
WHY IS THIS WORKING
I HATE YOU SO MUCH
Okay but other direction can ALSO be a lot of fun
“What do you mean I don’t have to burn half my blood to create a fireball?”
“Why can you teleport more than once without vomiting? WTF is ‘quantum displacement awareness’???”
“You know HOW many spells? HOW? ... What do you mean ‘my spell book’?”
“Ooooh, you’re just summoning water portions from the Plane of Water... Lol I thought I HAD to combine hydrogen and oxygen molecules to generate water in small amounts. That’s so much easier then what I was doing!”
Tags via @mia7437
This is 100% how coding works
I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead now?’ question when I was talking about historical figures. So I was just like ‘Yes, they’re dead now, everyone who was alive in the 1800s is dead now.’ and then one kid was like ‘Except for you’.
missmoneyhenny
I’m sorry to hear about your scalp.
Okay I must clear this up more concretely since this has gone far beyond my circle of folks who have the context of Why This Is Actually Funny, because there are thousands of people here who are like ‘kids are so rude, kids are so evil, I hate kids’ when…
1) Kids are little humans and they’re learning and they should be treated as little humans who are learning. Don’t be a dick to kids. Adults who are assholes to kids is such a bad look, and kids remember that shit.
2) This particular child was being SO earnest and ‘except for you’ was said not as an insult but like ‘oh…you’re the last one left 😢’.
I dress like this everyone:
[ID: image of a person wearing a puffy 18th century shirt, waistcoat, and cravat.]
Thank u, goodnight.
everyone always talks about the andean cock of the rock but what the hell is this
Hi benny. Im a month late to this post but did you know that almost 40% of the males of this bird species engage in homosexual behavior with an even smaller percent practicing it exclusively.
hi thats fucking awesome. birds are such wonderful creatures.
oh what a terrible day. I must look at images of garaks double chin to feel better
Life is a beautiful and precious thing
juniperlefae
Oh Big Blue Bug that’s interesting I wonder what that looks like—
Jesus H. Christ
get in everyone we’re going on a roadtrip
mr explodes-when-exposed-to-air will not be able to join us today. he has passed away. i am so sorry
oh no what happened?
shark attack
huh
mothers day cards: hey queen 👸😋! thank you for cooking 🍳 and cleaning 🧽🧹🧺 and shopping 🛍🛒 and taking care of our health insurance 🙊⚕️and just being a great beautiful lady! 🥰❤️ we love you so much mom!!!
fathers day cards: you FART 💨 and thats FUNNY 🤡
