Can people just be friends please? Because I’m a girl I apparently cannot be friends with a guy without the whole world doing one of three things 1 - assuming we are fucking 2 - assuming we are GOING to be fucking very soon 3 - suggesting that if we are not currently fucking, we ought to be. Without fail I become friends with a guy and apparently those are the only three possible outcomes. I am friends with my co-worker. We have a loose and casual dynamic. He has the same name as my boyfriend, it is the source of joking but it is clear we are not attracted to each other and our friendship is just a friendship. The manager of another store comes into our store every morning, so knows both of us. And suggested to our boss that I “want his bod.” My manager’s reaction was to text my coworker and tell him this and tell him that he should definitely try to be a homewrecker i.e. RUIN MY RELATIONSHIP and try to “go for” me because HE deserves to be happy. 1) I don’t want him. That’s been made clear. I really truly don’t. 2) HE deserves to be happy? But I don’t? Like if you set someone to ruin my relationship I’m pretty sure that directly fucks with my happiness. Why is his more important than mine? 3) WHY does anyone else consider this their business?! I am seriously so angry. H.
that's one of the things i hate about being mixed with white. because my white family sort of disregards the fact that i'm half asian and they're always saying bad stuff about asians. they also do the thing you said in your response to the other anon that they disregard the other half of you (in your case your blackness). a bunch of times they would say things like "oh ___ group (usually asian people) do ___ (annoying thing)...except for your family." like you just insulted a group of people????
Dude i feel this a lot. I'm mixed Mexican and white and while my family isn't guilty of it,other people in my life do. Some assume I'm just white because they don't know. Some know I'm Mexican and ignore it by making racial comments and Jokes and just otherwise lumping me in as white. H
I need feminism because of the way men treat me at my job.
I am a third shift employee at a gas station, my employer often schedules me to work alone on shift for upwards of six hours in the middle of the night. For the most part I don’t mind. And then...... (the following are actual things men have said to me at my job while I was on the clock and did nothing more suggestive than saying “have a good night” after I ring their purchases up.) ...And then I put lotion on my hands which happens to be scented, and a guy walks in and says “Ooh girl you smell nice” Me: oh, thanks, it’s just lotion. Him: “You smell SO good. You’re LUCKY you’re on the clock.” ...And then a customer comes in the door behind me and stands at the counter to my back. When I tell him the register is around the other side, and ask if I Can help him find anything, his response is “no, baby, I’m just enjoying the view” while staring at my ass. ....and then I ask a guy if there is anything else I can get for him along with his purchase and he responds “I’ll take YOU home with me.” ...and then a guy asks for my phone number. Me: “Oh, sorry, no. I actually have a boyfriend.” Him: “Oh really. What other excuses are you going to make up for me?” Me: “It isn’t an excuse. I have a boyfriend. WE have been together for eight years.” Him: “Uh-huh, so if I come in here and you don’t have a boyfriend tomorrow?” Me: “I will have a boyfriend tomorrow.” Him: *walks off muttering at me while his friend behind him starts in with comments about my looks* ....and then a guy comes in on a night when I am not alone and have a guy coworker with me. And he proceeds to interrogate my coworker about me. And lewdly gesture to me and make allusiosn to whether he and I have sex in the store. And when my coworker says no and tries to end the conversastion he continues with “come on, why not. I know you gotta set of keys to the store.” These are just a few glaring examples of the way I am treated. Every night. In my work uniform while I am just trying to do my job and not get hit on by random ass guys who apparently don’t respect “no”. These are not compliments. Some of them are flat out threatening. None of them respect the fact that I have made it clear that I am not interested. This i why I need feminism. H
The Dangerous Women Project is Curating Responses from Freelance Contributors - Pays $60+/editorial piece
The Dangerous Women Project, a global campaign of the Institute for Advanced Studies in the Humanities at the University of Edinburgh, is curating reflective responses to the moral question: “What does it mean to be a ‘dangerous woman’?”
The notion that women are dangerous singularly or collectively suffuses many historical eras, heritages, and aspects of everyday life. But behind this epithet asks numerous critical questions about the characteristics, disunities, identities, and power struggles with which women experience today.
Hi there ! I am writing to you because of the post on "strong female character" which I found really interesting and clear, thanks ! For a coming debate on a French podcast on table-top RPGs, I need to defend exactly this point of view, that creating oversexualized violent female characters does not serve feminism and is not the same as creating human being non-cliché female characters. Therefore, would have some additional readings on the subject ? It would be really really useful ! Thanks !
Gonna throw this one to the other mods, H in particular. -C
Sex Education in American Public Schools
The third map is really freaking me out. “Don’t have to be medically accurate.” WHAT.
This explains the shit sex education I received. So glad my mother taught me a lot of important, medically accurate things. -C
Okay so people have a lot of shit to say about Iowa a lot of the time and I feel like people have this general idea that we’re kind of backwards and ignorant. But look at this. Iowa is not included in any of those maps. I received EXCELLENT sex ed through public schools in Iowa, starting with basic information about puberty, etc. in fourth grade. I’ve had good and bad teachers in the subject, just like any other subject, but overall, it’s soooo much better than abstinence only sex ed or none at all. And honestly, if a state like Iowa, which is heavily rural and fairly religious can have good, accurate, age-appropriate, and informative sex ed, then I see NO reason why even liberal states are still not providing this for their students. (We were also the fourth state in the nation to legalize gay marriage just sayin’)
FUCK YEAH. Comprehensive sex ed ftw. I did my sex ed over the course of several school systems(I was raised active-duty army) and I would say my experience was similar, mostly. I was quite lucky. -C
Good Morning, Starshine, the Earth Says Hello!
H Here. After dicsussing with my fellow admins, we’re going to bring FYIFLAG out of Hiatus. Keep an eye out on your dash for updates from us, and feel free tosend us asks and messages, we’re coming back and it’s gonna be good. <3
Yep remember that….
Exactly!!!
how do you even respond to that
Also, great women have to have had a great father because we can’t accomplish anything if a man didn’t show us how.
How do you respond? You don't. You shut the entire fuck up and retreat into failure corner. -C
why the fuck would a woman pretend to like videogames to fuck some fedora neckbeard i dont get this concept i dont think it’s ever happened
It’s so infuriating how Michael Brown, a seventeen year old boy who was brutally murdered, gets “he was no angel” in his fucking obituary but joan rivers who literally wished an entire group of people death gets a week of mourning and footage of her working at soup kitchens a billion years ago
I’m fat and I’m not sorry.
Ditto - H
When you enter a chat room and it’s apparent you’re female so all these guys start messaging you liek “hey baby you so fine baby” And then there’s those that message you like they’re just tryin to chat and be cool, but they get all mad when you bring up your s/o like, can I not just chat online without it being some kind of sexual endeavor?
"And ur boyfriend doesn’t get mad at you for this chat app?" Like no. I just said I just wanna chat with people. Clearly you can’d understand that “chat with” is not the same as “hook up with” so bye bye.
I mean I just can't get over this. Some of my best friends are people I met through social media/chatting. Back then there was always the threat of these people but they weren't as prominent (in my own personal experience). I literally downloaded this app and had the above experiences. I made my profile say clearly I both have a boyfriend AND don't wish to be contacted for sex/flirting/relationships. But it's STILL HAPPENING. These men don't care that I'm a human being. They notice I'm a woman and think that means it's okay to bombard me with propositions and harass me when I shoot them down. Ugh. - H
I need feminism because being a gay man is more accepted than being a lesbian (being sexualized doesn't count as acceptance) and being a trans male is more accepted than being a trans female. why? Liking masculinity over femininity is seen as acceptable and understandable while liking femininity over masculinity isn't
Wrong. If you are a gay man, you are extremely discriminated and shun by almost every society. If you are a lesbian, it means guys think you’re hot and you’re a feminist.
'Being sexualized isn't acceptance'
"BUHT PEOPLE THINK YOURE HOT AND YOURE REDUCED DOWN TO SKETCHY PORN OR STEREOTYPES THATS ACCEPTANCE WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT’
-Ash
AUGH THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS. This is amazing esp after the thing I posted earlier about hypersexualizing lesbians and claiming that's "acceptance" UGH.
YOU'RE TAGGING A LOT OF SHIRTLESS WOMEN AS NSFW. You find it extremely sexist for a guy to grab your arm to pull you out of the way of a crowd but think it's not sexist to tag ARTISTIC pictures of topless women as NSFW?? Hypocrite much.
firstly, understand that there are three different moderators here and these tags and posts are not all coming from the same person. secondly, these pictures get tagged nsfw simply out of respect for followers and browsers who may be in a public place and need to filter pictures with any nudity out of them. For example, administrators at many schools and libraries may go so far as to revoke computer privileges to people who are noted to have what other patrons may complain as being nude photos up. It’s not a matter of sexism, it’s a matter of respect for followers who need those tags for filters in certain situations. OH, and my complaints about the guy grabbing my arm to pull me out of the way had less to do with him doing so and more to do with him doing it without my consent. -- H
today I was at a baby’s birthday party. Many family and friends of family members were there and several of them brought their children. One boy who was about 5 or 6 repeatedly kept trying to “motorboat” his mother’s breasts. When she told him to stop he got angry and said “if you tell me to stop I’m just going to keep doing it.” To said mom: Teach your child about consent and the importance of “No” in all of its forms. It is in no way okay for your son to say that to you or ANY person who has made it explicitly clear that they do not want their behavior to continue. To all parents: TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT CONSENT
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT CONSENT.
FUCKING TEACH YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN ABOUT FUCKING CONSENT. -H
What I find interesting about this post is that it is never brought up what the mother’s reaction was to what her son said. We never know if she actually told him “No” or not.
I just saw this reblog. The mother did basically nothing.She DID tell him "no" and "stop" first, at which point he said he would keep doing it if she said stop, he did it again, she rolled her eyes he ran off. She rolled her eyes at the boy, he did it again and then ran off to play with some of the other kids at the party. She didn't say anything to him (at least at that moment, I can't speak for if she brought it up to him later on once they weren't surrounded by people) about that being wrong or respecting people when they say no or stop. Nothing. She rolled her eyes and they both moved on.
I am super super super sick of seeing "Pro-lesbian" pictures that sexualize lesbians. You know the posters I'm talking about. Two traditional media image hot girls making out topless and something along the lines of "How is this wrong?" The message is supposed to look like it's pro-lesbian, and therefore pro-gay. But in reality it's a campaign angled towards straight men who fetishize lesbians. (You know, those guys that say "I can totally understand lesbians, chicks are hot. But two guys doin' it, that's just gross.) Why is that the campaign that we see so much of? Why couldn't it be two actual lesbians enjoying life and being happy. Probably with the kids they're raising together, and the same caption "How is this wrong?" Why don't we have pictures like that. Lesbian moms and their kids smiling and representing a happy family. Gay dads and their kids enjoying a day together. Oh. Wait, I've got lots of those pictures, because that IS my family...
What's immoral about a happy family like this?
How is this wrong?
These are my moms. This is my actual family. Making the campaign so hypersexual denies that these are real, tangible humans with lives and families and goals, not just hot half naked chicks paid to kiss for a picture. It makes me so grumpy I die a little inside everytime I see one of those stupid posters. -H. PS: I don't have any pictures of me and my dads online, they exist but somewhere in the nexus of phones and different people's records. I'll find them one day. But believe that they are totally adorable together.
today I was at a baby's birthday party. Many family and friends of family members were there and several of them brought their children. One boy who was about 5 or 6 repeatedly kept trying to "motorboat" his mother's breasts. When she told him to stop he got angry and said "if you tell me to stop I'm just going to keep doing it." To said mom: Teach your child about consent and the importance of "No" in all of its forms. It is in no way okay for your son to say that to you or ANY person who has made it explicitly clear that they do not want their behavior to continue. To all parents: TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT CONSENT
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT CONSENT.
FUCKING TEACH YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN ABOUT FUCKING CONSENT. -H
Hi there, H here.
Bullet points for today: I ran into a guy who actually recognized that I'm not white. It was pretty refreshing. He's a vague acquaintance, and asked me about it in a decently respectful way and we had a nice discussion about how white folks just assume I'm white because I've got some white heritage and I can pass as such. I don't typically complain but I often feel like my heritage is being denied because "being white" trumps my Latina and my Asian heritage. Ten seconds after that though he did something that made me furious. we were at the bus station which is a markedly busy place to be. And a bus full of people pulled up behind me and he decided it was okay to grab me by the upper arm to direct me out of the way. It came from what was supposed to be a nice place. His intention was to make sure that I didn't get trampled by a bunch of people. But he grabbed me by the upper arm which just feels aggressive/possessive and he touched me without my permission AND It was clear that he felt the need to do so because I'm a woman and he's a man and he needs to "protect" me as if I can't fend for myself (or, y'know take a step or two forward of my own accord). It really bothered me, and even when I stepped out of his arms reach, he did it again. - I've also started my own body posi blog. This may be a shameless plug, but I only have a handful of followers and half of those are unwelcome bbw porn blogs that won't respectfully unfollow, and since Tumblr won't allow me to block people from following me there's not much I can do about it /whine* (I'm having the same problem on my personal blog go figure.) Anyway. There's not much there but I'm just getting started and if any are interested in following body posi blogs then I'd super love it if you checked mine out : http://www.big-bold-beautiful-love.tumblr.com/ - I'm having an awful day in general. But tomorrow is mine and Boyfriend's six year anniversary, so it should be far better. I've been lucky enough to stick with a guy who respects me and supports me and helps me to grow and learn. Six years behind us, many more ahead. /sappy love bit. -H