smashmouth was right… so much to do, so much to see

Tell him you’re excited to have his last name and then marry his brother

This is some Shakespeare level shade

This never gets old.

💪Shoplifting😫🛍 Protip 💵

Step 1: go to ur local Walmrt

Step 2: go to th sports + outdoors aisle

Step 3: locate the weights

Step 4: pick them all up one by one

Step 5: put them all back (one by one)

Step 6: leave the store

Step 7: never come back

💥CONFIGURATIONS‼️ u have SUCCessfully 💅 shop LIFTED💪💪💪 NEVER STOP THE GRIND BRO 🔥🥇

Nipple piercings really make the titty look decorative 

THERE IS A LONGER VERSION???

Who dug this up. You fool. There’s a reason we didn’t see his before. We weren’t meant to hear the child’s final screech. We were being spared and you’ve doomed us all

This right here is the realest shit I’ve ever read

Tbh

me: *sends friend a message at 3 am*

friend: *responds*

me: woah woah there what are you doing up go the fuck to sleep this isn’t healthy

person: my boyfriend just- me: dump them person: no he did something good me: suck their dick

wow…………….

i feel attacked by this