I've been trying so hard. Pushing through all the shit that's been going on. Pushing so hard, trying so hard. I'm not okay. Not in the slightest. I don't wanna be here anymore. I cannot breathe. I just wanna feel again. Hurt me. Make me feel something. Anything. Please.
I have never felt so revolting in my entire life. I don’t take pictures anymore. I can’t take pictures without staring at it for hours pointing out my flaws to myself. I sit n sob in the mirror. I wish I was skinnier. I wish I was prettier. I wish I didn’t have such a fat tummy. I hate my stretchmarks. I hate my lose skin. I’ve lost so much weight n it still doesn’t feel like enough. I wish my boobs weren’t so saggy. I wish I didn’t have to put foundation on to make my skin look less red. I wish my cheeks weren’t so chubby. I wish my stomach didn’t bulge over my jeans if they’re not high waisted. I wish my bum wasn’t so flat. I wish I didn’t have so many scars, I guess I can blame myself for that. I can’t stop torturing myself with thoughts of my boyfriend leaving me for someone prettier or skinnier. I constantly worry about every girl we walk past on the streets wondering if he thins they’re prettier than me. I hate myself. i truly do. With every disgusting, fat, revolting part of me. I’m so fat. So fucking fat. It’s never enough. I don’t want to eat anymore. I don’t want to put on more weight. i don’t want to look the way I do. I am disgusting. I am fat. I am revolting. I hate me.
