Every now and again I think of this Sarah tweet and just stare into the middle distance.
“You mean so much to me that sometimes I don’t know how to handle it. I want you to care for and arrest you in my arms as if the world wasn’t yet ready to deserve someone like you.”
— Vitor Hugo Mota (via nightlyquotes)
It just astonishes me when people are like, “you need to move on” when you’re dealing with PTSD.
No fucking shit.
What a miraculous cure you’ve found there. The altered activity in my hippocampus that causes me to experience memory as a vivid present experience instead of the dulled past is gone. The disrupted relationship between my amygdala and my prefrontal cortex that causes me to be trapped in instinct and make poorer decisions is healed. My sympathetic nervous system is no longer overly triggering my fight or flight response.
You’ve fixed my brain. Congrats.
mid life crisis ? no no, mid DAY crisis. happens every day
Me: Borderline is NOT an easy illness to understand and deal with I'm not comfortable sharing all my thoughts with you but I'll say that at times I will act out and say things that are very hurtful but I really don't mean to hurt you and my brain will make things worse than what they actually are. Do you understand that?
People: Yeah! You are valid and we support and love you
Me: *do the things I warned them about*
People:
every time you send a dry text or you take 5 hours to respond it feels like your hand is being plunged into my bare chest and ripping my heart out, and if i were to say this out loud i would be being “manipulative” and “dramatic” but it actually feels like i’m dying. it feels like i’m being physically hurt, but of course i still run after you because who would i be without you? i would have nothing to live for, nothing to obsessively think about and adore. i would have no one to being completely and whole heartedly in love with, and being absolutely infatuated with you is the worst pain i’ve felt in my life but i would change it for a second. you are the worst and best thing that’s ever happened to me but goddamn it i wouldn’t be here without you. i owe everything to you, i fucking adore you my beloved.
