Sometimes.

02.03.2023.

I have everything I have ever wanted, yet something holds me back from enjoying what I got. Sometimes i feel like i exist instead of live. And sometimes I feel alive with the littlest thing.

Like yesterday, i was all numb and emotionless. I couldn't feel anything, physically or emotionally. Only my brain was working basically. My girlfriend started telling me all these good things about myself, in the beginning I was getting angry because i didn't want to listen, especially to words like "you're beautiful, you're amazing, you're so sexy". They bothered me to the point I told her to stop; but thank gid she didn't. She paused. She gave me some time. Then she simply kissed me. And i felt her emotions being poured into me through that kiss.

I'm still not 100% okay, but at least I can cope till I feel something again.

Does anyone feel like that sometimes?

Why am I still alone? When all I want is to love someone and have them love me back! Am I that fucked up?

With the fire I build a wall only a tsunami can put out 🔥💧

You do not keep me in your life because I ask you to. You keep me in your life because you want to.

If you need a break from me, just say so. Don't ghost me.

Stop trying to get in contact with me again! I only asked you for 2 things: space and time! If you can't respect an agreement how am I supposed to respect you?

...and there again

...why do I still respect you? Why do I still give a fuck?!

The excitment of something new 😍