an ever adapting ever changing study in ::

MAINS / EXCLUSIVES / &OR AFFILIATED W/ ::

　　dawn is just starting to brighten up the room, thin rays of light coming through the blinds, and if gen wasn't so comfortable she'd get up and let more light in. it would also mean pulling her eyes away from buck, which beats out the comfort as a reason to stay. she doesn't know how long she's been watching him, maybe a few hours, and they don't know when they started brushing her fingers through his hair as gently as possible. 

　　there's a stillness and a silence that feels like home when they're with him in moments like this. she doesn't want to wake him by moving and getting together food, he deserves the extra hour or so of sleep, but they also just have no desire to break the stillness. there's the movement of his chest as he breathes, of course, and that's the only motion that matters. she does, however, shift slightly, but only so that she can rest her head on his chest, ear resting over his heart. 

　　that's a sound that she needs to hear at times, just a reminder that he's real, he's there, he's alive. long, late nights like the previous make the need stronger. she'll never admit it, at least not yet, but she does stress over unwanted calls or hearing a specific kind of knock on the front door. it's unimportant in this moment, though, because he's alive and that's all that matters. 

　　gen closes her eyes and lets herself relax, breathing slowly, and listens for his soul. it's right up there with his heart as a favorite sound, the two tied for first, with his laugh coming in second. it's a soft tone and a melod that just lodges itself in her head lately, and it's soothing. it's another sign of life, of existence, and it's completely him. 

　　their hand moves lazily to rest on the other side of his chest and, in a return of the favor, they let the warmth in their heart move through her fingertips, into him, and even though it wakes him, she doesn't regret the break in the still. she smiles at him softly, whispering a gentle sorry, pressing a kiss on his chest quickly in apology. 

　　there's never really a good time to explain how it works, they don't know themself how it does, and she's not quite sure it matters all too much. at least, not right now. "i dunno, changin' your life maybe? all i know is i feel the same way when i look at you, like just realize again and again that you're alive even though there's nothin' else y'could be. it makes me realize i might actually be, too. in some way. that make sense?"

  　　in the totality of gen's dating history, second dates are a rarity, hovering somewhere around 10%. third dates, however, are a phenomena that she can count on two hands without using all her fingers. it's always something that gets in the way, from base line incompatibility to catastrophe. the rare few that manage to get to a fourth? those are the ones gen worries about the most. they stress over how many more there might be, when the hovering running shoe will drop, and sure it's still an early phase but when you're facing forever, time simply stops making sense.

　　still, despite their reservations and hesitations, when buck had suggested going on a fifth, she'd said yes once again, the words coming easily but still surrounded by butterflies. gen still doesn't know what it is about him, it's not just the weird buzz of electricity or the flapping of wings in her chest or that tip of her fingers familiarity. it's something else, and whatever that secret fourth thing is, she can't seem to figure it out. 

　　she's been scrambling to get ready since getting home later than she had planned, LA traffic is a beast and gen hadn't factored it in to her plans once again. the excitement over the date outweighs the stress, giving her a challenge with a clear goal and they're determined to set a record for fastest turn around and metaphorical table flip. it's nearly perfect timing when she hears the doorbell, she's just finished getting her shoes on, and she sends a little thank you out to the universe for having their back for once.

　　they don't know if it's the still new of it all or if it's genuinely just him, but gen swears the sun gets a little brighter whenever she sees him. it'll fade, don't think too much about it, it's an unwelcome thought she shoves away with ease and with a laugh at his statement. he's cute, it's a little overwhelming just how cute he is, and gen can just tell he's being genuine.

　　"thank you, and no, only allergic to apples and like, kiwi, which like that's a whole story but --- anyways not the point, just, i'll happily take both. they're pretty and my apartment can always use a lil more life in it. you can like, totally come in if you want, i just need t'find a vase." it's easy, it's simple and easy and gen knows it should feel slightly more awkward, but they won't question it too much. not now, at least.

　　"c'mon, like, it's a mess i wil warn you on that, i just gotta remember where i put the box with the vases, it's somewhere, like i swear i saw it like no earlier than yesterday."

I SIMPLY ASKED WHAT THE FCK GEN’S DEAL IS RIGHT NOW? And not in the sense of the deal she made but that also works ?? I half understand tarot but im 🧍‍♂️

　　they slap at his hand, a little too gently, and debates grabbing him by the wrist. there's a hesitation, more out of gen feeling unsure of it being a good idea than any true concern for him. it's been years since she last used her so called gift for anything other than soothing, and while she knows she can still get to that hidden locked away part of her, gen must take a pause. it's a floss thin line that they have to make sure they don't cross and they've never actually wanted to willingly demonstrate it. while they would easily kill Patrick in a heartbeat if they could if they knew he couldn't haunt them in the aftermath, this is an entire other story.

　　❝ y'know, i don't know if i can actually do it. like not that it'd really make much of a difference, you've got a real fucked soul, Patrick, there ain't really much there. what is there, it's givin' me the worst damn headache, especially right now. ❞

　　she shrugs, arms crossed, a small unidentifiable smile taking shape. their eyes flicker a bit, as does their general appearance, a gaussian blur laid on each little movement..

　　❝ like i'm more worried 'bout just , i mean, y'are the devil aren't you? i think you're up to three of those comparisons at this point and i just simply don't see it. you might be evil but you're also human. you're weak. he'd probably love to eat you alive. ❞

　　❝ kenz you know i don't like being told what to do, 'cmon, now i ain't gonna do it. ❞ she grins, however, and laughs a few beats after. ❝ look ,i wanna, i do, i just have a real bad habit of fuckin' people's eternities over. just like, be patient with me, okay? that's like literally all i ask, is be patient.❞

　　❝ i know it may feel like that and like, feel so damn true that it hurts and makes you wanna just bolt, but dude .... look, you help people, you do a real damn good job at it. i possibly talked to some spirits as well, most of them have a grudge but a good fuckin' number of them actually said some good things. like, you try. you do good.

but that ain't all there is to bein someone that people want around, like at least it shouldn't, and from what i've observed ... you're a good person, even if there's fucky shit, you've actually got a nice sounding soul. you deserve t'be around and like fuck anyone whose said otherwise. people would be worse off without you, in ways other than just not havin' you 'round t'clean up messes and hunt spooky shit. ❞

　　they shrug and give him a soft smile, choosing to be less shouty than usual. if he argues, she'll drop the chill and take an alternate route, and gen hopes they don't have to.

　　if there was ever a universal truth that one could easily keep time to, it's that gen does not know when to not mess with something they shouldn't. they can't help it, they swear, it's just their natural baked in curiosity that makes them need to touch and investigate things that, without question, they should not. case in point: not only a "DO NOT ENTER !!" assigned, more than likely cursed lighthouse, but even worse ... an oddly out of place book nestled in the corner of an otherwise meticulously organized bookshelf. of course it had opened a hidden passage way and of course, she had gone through.

　　they hadn't asked buck to follow behind them, more out of just the sudden need to see where the tunnel that had been revealed led to than out of an insistence on doing something on their own, and they're not completely upset that he did. sometimes, and she'll admit to it just this once , they do need help. like, say, when the tunnel you're walking down suddenly turns into a steep hill and you just happen to not notice and end up half tripping down it. 

　　luckily, for gen, he'd been able to grab them and keep the fall damage to a minimum. unlucky for him, it had meant going down with them. lucky for both of them, the drop hadn't been too severe of a distance, and it didn't seem like either had been seriously hurt. gen knows she has a rough scrape or two on her knees, maybe one on their arm as well, and he hadn't made any complaints as of yet. however, they can't see so they can't fully check, and gen just hopes that everything is okay. they also hope that they hadn't just landed in something truly dangerous, they don't think they did, they pray they didn't, and nothing is ringing alarm bells. all that the situation is at the present is annoying and embarrassing.

　　her map isn't in her pocket anymore, neither is her lighter, and they'd heard plastic hit stone harshly and figured that had to be her flashlight biting the dust. "you good? sorry 'bout that landing, like, i really hope i didn't elbow you too hard. you feelin good? i'd hold up some fingers but like, y'know..." they gesture around, even though he can't see that either, starting to become more and more aware of just how dark it is around them.

　　she thinks about reaching out and trying to grab his hand, almost does, just to make sure they don't somehow get separated. one hidden door usually leads to another, and another, and gen really isn't in the mood to play find the buck and live out some sort of episode of scooby doo.

　　they let out a breath when he finds his flashlight, brushing their hands on their jeans quickly before standing up. her hip hurts and she definitely has some sort of damage to her arm, but she'll live. "well then like, go 'head and turn it on. this place is givin' me the creeps, and like, that's me sayin' that." there's something in the overly still too humid air that's making them grow increasingly uneasy. "just like, if there's any weird fuckin thing behind me, don't even say anything, just start runnin' okay?"

i've been unwell for like what two days now ?? over the latest developments @fuckedprophet and i have decided upon cause yknow, gen really loses all sense of actually considering the consequences of their actions when it comes to keeping dallas safe. she is simply the queen to his king on the chess board.

have i yelled about how much i care @walkedfire recently?