don’t some of the pokémon like. fly

Alright here's the deal.

Yes, some Pokémon can fly. But this is one billion lions. There are 1024 unique Pokémon. That means 970,000 lions per Pokémon. Maybe a Pokémon can fly, but a billion lions can stack themselves into a pile to reach space. Fly away from that dumbass, you'll ruin out of air to breath and fly in.

Now you're saying, ok, but a legendary dipshittyeon comes from space and would be able to fly high enough in the atmosphere to avoid the lion pile. Ok, then what? Is dipshittyeon gonna kill even just their own personal assigned 900,000 lions? No. You know why?

Cuz dipshittyeon is eventually gonna run out of pp and kill themselves using Struggle. LONG before they finish off all their personal assigned 900,000 lions. Which will probably be multiple dozens of millions of lions by that point as all the ones that finished off the 30 different alternative caterpies start joining the dipshittyeon murder pile.

Lions clear. Next question.

There are pokemon that can bend space and time, I don't want to hear this.

Yeah about 8 times tops. Then they're Struggling themselves to death

Lions clear

Lions clear because people don’t have a strong concept of just how much a billion is.

"These Pokémon can fire off laser beams or make earthquakes."

Which can kill tens, hundreds, or thousands of individual creatures at once. Not millions. Not tens of millions. Certainly not a billion. Then they all run out of PP and Struggle themselves to death.

"Some of these Pokémon can call down meteors or twist space and time."

Eight or ten times. Then they run out of PP and Struggle themselves to death.

"A meteor or earthquake would wipe out anything in miles around itself."

A real one, sure. The ones the Pokémon use don't cause any harm to the twelve-years-olds standing ten feet away from where they strike.

"Ghost-types can't be harmed by Normal attacks."

Correct, they can't. Which is why they're going to last long enough to use up all of their own PP and then Struggle themselves to death.

"Alright, wiseass, but what if we're not using strict game mechanics here?"

Then they're going to succumb to exhaustion the old-fashioned way. How much time and energy do you think you need to kill a billion individual creatures?

There just comes a point where if you have a sufficient number of weak things, not degree of ludicrous power from a limited number of strong things will take out enough of the horde to make a difference.

Even considering all that, ghost types could not be damaged by the lions at all. So. Lions lose.

I'm going to reply by simply quoting the same post that you replied to:

"Ghost-types can't be harmed by Normal attacks."

Correct, they can't. Which is why they're going to last long enough to use up all of their own PP and then Struggle themselves to death.

don’t some of the pokémon like. fly

Alright here's the deal.

Yes, some Pokémon can fly. But this is one billion lions. There are 1024 unique Pokémon. That means 970,000 lions per Pokémon. Maybe a Pokémon can fly, but a billion lions can stack themselves into a pile to reach space. Fly away from that dumbass, you'll ruin out of air to breath and fly in.

Now you're saying, ok, but a legendary dipshittyeon comes from space and would be able to fly high enough in the atmosphere to avoid the lion pile. Ok, then what? Is dipshittyeon gonna kill even just their own personal assigned 900,000 lions? No. You know why?

Cuz dipshittyeon is eventually gonna run out of pp and kill themselves using Struggle. LONG before they finish off all their personal assigned 900,000 lions. Which will probably be multiple dozens of millions of lions by that point as all the ones that finished off the 30 different alternative caterpies start joining the dipshittyeon murder pile.

Lions clear. Next question.

There are pokemon that can bend space and time, I don't want to hear this.

Yeah about 8 times tops. Then they're Struggling themselves to death

Lions clear

Lions clear because people don’t have a strong concept of just how much a billion is.

"These Pokémon can fire off laser beams or make earthquakes."

Which can kill tens, hundreds, or thousands of individual creatures at once. Not millions. Not tens of millions. Certainly not a billion. Then they all run out of PP and Struggle themselves to death.

"Some of these Pokémon can call down meteors or twist space and time."

Eight or ten times. Then they run out of PP and Struggle themselves to death.

"A meteor or earthquake would wipe out anything in miles around itself."

A real one, sure. The ones the Pokémon use don't cause any harm to the twelve-years-olds standing ten feet away from where they strike.

"Ghost-types can't be harmed by Normal attacks."

Correct, they can't. Which is why they're going to last long enough to use up all of their own PP and then Struggle themselves to death.

"Alright, wiseass, but what if we're not using strict game mechanics here?"

Then they're going to succumb to exhaustion the old-fashioned way. How much time and energy do you think you need to kill a billion individual creatures?

There just comes a point where if you have a sufficient number of weak things, not degree of ludicrous power from a limited number of strong things will take out enough of the horde to make a difference.

so like up until the 1600s, people believed that plants got their mass by eating dirt, because where the fuck else would they get it from. a guy named jan van helmont thought this sounded kind of funky and decided to test it by planting a willow tree sapling, letting it grow in a pot for 5 years, and measuring the soil before and after. lo and behold, at the end of the 5 year experiment the weight of the soil was basically the same. he decided that the mass of the growing willow tree would HAVE to be from water, because what the fuck else could the plant possibly eat, am i right lads???

anyway what im trying to get at is that its actually a really common misconception that plants eat dirt. they do not eat dirt. they get their mass from carbon dioxide in the air that they converted into sugars and starches in photosynthesis. yes, they get nutrients and stuff from the soil, but the bulk of what you see in terms of like, leaves and bark and Non-Water Plant Stuff™ was made from materials converted from carbon dioxide in photosynthesis. 

jan van helmont did not know this. jan van helmont self-identified as an alchemist and spent most of his time thinking very hard about how eating things worked while under the assumption that plants apparently got bigger from only water and absolutely nothing else. this, although some sort of mood i can’t pin down– a small worm, a similar hat, if you will– is not a life style i would encourage

This is a weird callout post for a guy who made the most logical deductions he could have given the resources and tools he had at his disposal.

i wrote this trying to find a funnee joke way to correct the ‘plants eat dirt’ misunderstanding but u know what? this is valid. post cancelled jan van helmont didnt deserve this

I mean to be fair the chain of “sounds sensible” is directly inverse to the chain of “actually true”

“plants eat dirt” ok sure, there is physical mass (dirt) and then there is physical mass (plant), most plants can’t survive when taken out of the dirt, this checks out.

“plants eat water” I mean he did weight the dirt so I guess that one’s debunked, and there’s nothing else plants will die without, and I mean they do have sap and so on inside them, we know the water goes into the plant. sure! weird but okay!

“plants eat air” get out of here. you’re just making things up now.

SCIENCE is testing out hypotheses, and if the hypotheses are discarded, come up with new ones that seem to make sense.

Starting Wind Waker: Link is carred toon.

Getting past the intro sequence: Adventure on the high seas!! Sail into the unknown! Chart every island! Fight incredible monsters!! Find your calling!!! Fuck yeah!!!!

Getting to the midway point: A once beautiful kingdom lay in ruin because your ancestors weren't strong enough to protect it. It now falls upon you to breathe life back into this world and restore it to its former glory, to succeed where your forebears failed. Good luck.

Beating the game: Let go. It's over. Hyrule is gone. The mistakes of the past cannot be undone, but the future, however bleak it may seem, can still be salvaged. This world is yours now.

Starting new game plus: These pajamas let me understand the ancient tongues.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enshittification

I NEVER KNEW THIS OMG

One correction -- cogito means "I think". "I know" would be nosco or scio. There's also sapio, although that's closer to "I am wise" or "I understand".

For every claim about Pagan survivals in European / North American folk traditions and holidays, it's important to remember that there are at least three layers of cruft on top:

#Unsure what op means exactly thr “pre Jewish” aside

It's an allusion to certain conspiracy theories amongst Nazi pagans; the idea being that Christianity is secretly a Jewish psy-op to seduce the white race away from the gods of their ancestors. Standard fascist (and proto-fascist) bullshit, I'm afraid.

Specifically it goes back to Nietzsches Genealogy of Morals and The Antichrist, where he identifies Christianity as fundamentally a Jewish religion who grew out of the priestly caste rule (rule by the weak) and the resentment felt by the Jews at their domination by other peoples, especially the exile in Babylon and slavery in Egypt. Thus Judaism (and through Judaism, Christianity) exalts the weak and debases the strong, it is a true slave morality (quite literally, the morality of slaves, rather than the morality of slave owners, as he would prefer), and it was in its changed form as Christianity that Judaism would dominate and defeat the Aryan, dharmic morality (and, his pagan followers would add, religion) of the European aristocracy that he so adored.

The Far Roofs has 60 minutes to go on its crowdfunding campaign, it's literally less than $3000 away from a stretch goal where every backer gets a bunch of free e-books of the author's novels, and there's a financial hardship backer tier that only costs eight bucks. Last chance!

(For the unfamiliar, The Far Roofs might somewhat glibly be described as a tabletop RPG where you play the token human cast member(s) in a Muppets movie, joining a bunch of swashbuckling rats as they roam a fantastical realm, the eponymous Far Roofs, which exists just above every human community, rather than – as is more traditional – below. The catch is that these muppety talking rats are on a mission to kill God, a fact whose implications may not initially be clear. Picture Lord Dunsany by way of Jim Henson and you'll be in the right ballpark.)

Also, if even $8 is out of the question, pledging just one dollar gets you a previous game by the same author called The Flood, which might briefly be described as an anticapitalist parable in the form of a tabletop farmland assetisation simulator in which you play as farmers who grow poetry instead of vegetables.

Ok now do NYT columnists

already this has tags in the notes like “#anti ai” but... this is just real life with almost everything. this is like grifter 101 please don’t exceptionalize needing to be critical of chatgpt.

This is literally how job interviews work, by the way, and then everyone is surprised the super-duper confident guy is also an incompetent moron.

This worked on Trump voters, with the added selling point that he's a piece of shit that gave them permission to be pieces of shit.

Talking to experts when I was young used to drive me nuts because I would say something self-evidently straightforward, and they would say, "Well, it's not actually as simple as that..."

And then I got older and learned things on the way, and found people asking me questions that were straightforward, but the equivalent of "Why isn't it obvious to everyone that there is only one right way of doing the thing...?" and I would reply, "Well, it's not as simple as that..." and watch them decide that I probably didn't know what I was talking about.

So basically, Dolly the sheep was an accident. They were trying to clone sheep cells, and they ended up unintentally generating an embryo, which turned out to be viable, hence we got Dolly.

The method they used proved unsuccessful in primates, and the risk of cloning primates (and thus humans) outweighs the benefits (because there really aren't any real benefits, scientifically speaking), so they don't do it.

Where it's most likely to be used is in agriculture, cloning livestock embryos.

What they use cloning for is stem cells. Cloning adult cells to create stem cells means they don't need embryonic stem cells, which is probably the most important thing that came from cloning research in the past 25 years.

The reason it was so important was that it proved that you didn't need an embryonic cell to clone live animals. The nucleus of an adult cell contains all the DNA you need to clone, because Dolly was cloned from an adult cell, which was previously unheard of. Now they know that adults cells can be reprogrammed back to an embryonic stage, and was a major breakthrough for stem cell research.

So basically, we don't hear about cloning anymore because they aren't doing anything that is so exciting it will capture the world's interest, like Dolly did. But it was a major scientific breakthrough that is still very important.

One of my favourite cloned animals is Kurt, a Przewalski's Horse who was cloned from the preserved samples from a horse that died in the 90's so that he can hopefully introduce some additional genetic diversity into the Przewalski's Horse population. Oh hey there's actually two clones of this one horse now, the second one is Ollie who was born last year. Kurt is now about four years old. Last I checked he was at the San Diego Zoo.

We don't tend to clone animals that are more common because we already have a very efficient machine for making sheep, it's called sheep.

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

Hey guys! Check out this block of pure sodium that I got!

Media that exists in other universes AND has been brought to ours, and has physical media, yet is in containment in an Alaskan bunker as they have intense anomalous properties:

- All or Nothing (Seasons 1-3). Watched it all. Episodes start out normal, but get more and more absurd. Asexual is named Don, pansexual is named Emil. One of the last episodes involves them going on a train, turning into heavy gore, sometimes photorealistic. Once they get out of the train, it returns to normal. Has a claymation artstyle. Got a rash while watching it.

- Sherlock (Season 5). I have not watched it. I found my long-lost friend who was kidnapped by Venti and the CIA next to it. The back of the DVD case states that Sherlock reveals his sexuality to the world, and Moriarty appears once more with his secret lover Sebastian Moran for one final showdown. I assume it knocks you unconscious or does worse. 

- Miss Officer and Mr Truffles (unaired pilot). It just kinda sucks, the plot is completely forgettable, I think they fought a bad guy who was stealing babies from nurseries to make a soup. The bear is voiced by Jerry Seinfeld. Has a mix of real-world footage and 2D animated cartoon characters. Makes your eyes burn and water. Activates enzymes for hair groth at an extreme rate. 

- Demian 2 (Hermann Hesse, unreleased 1921 book). It’s gay porn. It turns you homosexual in the window you read it. I’m not gay, so I didn’t read it. I only read it three times. You forget the whole thing afterwards, except for the fact it’s gay porn.

- Pokemon Z (GameFreak, unreleased 2014 game). The third installment of Pokemon X and Y. Zygarde makes an appearance. Sycamore and Lysandre kiss at the end, even though Lysandre dies once you collect all Zygarde Cores to stop his evil plan. Also makes you feel homosexual. I had a lot of fun playing it, though. I’m not gay so I wouldn’t play it again 

- Undertale: Jerry’s Revenge (Toby Fox, unreleased 2016 game). I can’t even go into this one it’s so vile and graphic

cocaine bear is a sequel to the tv show miss officer and mr truffles where the officer died of a fatal fentanyl overdose after a cloud of it was blown into her face by notorious drug master "dr. death". the bear goes on a carnage of revenge to avenge her, killing and dismembering the underlings of the drugsmith and using his own product against him to become the "cocaine bear"in this 300 minute long action piece of a master movie

so great was the endeavor that people who tired of living volunteered themselves to be mauled to death by the bear (practical effect from a real bear) just so they can die knowing they contributed to the great work and will watch the full film in valhalla.

Never again.

Easter bunnies (aka chabbits, skvaders, or boultry) are GMO designer pets turned practical livestock from Runaway to the Stars. Each breed has a distinct egg color! They are popular choice for small spacer colonies, since they’re quiet and produce eggs and meat on a completely vegetarian diet.

PATREON | STORE | Runaway to the Stars

So when Jesus rises from his grave everyone rejoices and it becomes a holiday but when I, Count Dracula-

It's that time of year when Tumblr celebrates Easter by posting pictures of crucified anime characters, and inevitably somebody in the notes will pop up to helpfully explain that crucifixion imagery has no cultural significance in Japanese media because Japan is only about 1% Christian, which bugs me because it's completely wrong.

It's true that in the majority of cases, crucifixion in Japanese cartoons isn't meant to be conveying any specific theological message, but something Western audiences are likely to miss is that a large portion of those random crucifixion scenes are referencing Ultraman.

Ultraman's creator was a devout Roman Catholic who explicitly intended the titular hero to read as a Christ figure, and consequently, various Ultramen have been crucified on multiple unconnected occasions throughout the franchise's history. Crucifixion scenes in Japanese cartoons are often directly name-checking particular crucifixion incidents from Ultraman, right down to emulating the compositions and camera angles of specific shots. It's like an especially morbid version of the Akira slide.

The upshot is that, while it's true that the inclusion of gratuitous crucifixion scenes in Japanese cartoons typically has no (intentional) theological message, stating that they have no cultural significance is incorrect. A large chunk of the Japanese viewing audience are going to see them and immediately go "hey, that's an Ultraman reference".

Anyway, as an image tax, have a shot of four crucified Ultramen miraculously resurrecting a fifth Ultraman by shooting laser beams out of their hearts: