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TAX EVASION FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

@frosty--giants

Hey there. 21, she/they, Bi, and Black. Eternally celebrating Halloween

i just woke up from a dream where i was being interrogated by a bunch of people asking me if “furbies are kosher” firstly…. im not jewish. secondly……..what the fuck

please stop sending me asks pertaining to the kosher status of furbies. i really do not know. this was just a manifestation of my subconscious. im assuming that they are not kosher because furbies aren’t even food. but who knows! ask a rabbi, if you must. 

Jew here! Furbies are actually worse than unkosher–they are not permissible as food, even for gentiles. This is because the Torah teaches that it is forbidden for any human to eat the meat of an animal that is still alive, and the Furby cannot die.

hi this is the most ominous description of a furby i have ever heard

thinking about her (the ghost barbie from the 2012 haunted beauty series)...

Okay, but this entire collection slaps.

The depths of my coveting for the Haunted Beauty governess Barbie are too great to explain with human language.

You think. You think villains know that heroes hide their identities from their loved ones? Like they’d probably assume they’d tell them because

a) that’d be difficult to hide, b) what if something happens to them, if they know they’re a hero then they can see on tv what happened, what, the hero is risking the chance of dying during battle and their family never knowing why they didn’t come home?? and c) in their eyes, why would you hide it, the heroes are good, it’s not like hiding that you’re a villain

Thinking about a villain tracking down the hero and seeing them lie about some injury to their friends and family and being completely baffled

I love how Danny Phantom villains really are just:

  • The actual ghost of Nikola Tesla
  • Blob in a mech suit
  • Teenage singer that tragically died in a house fire
  • Literally just a fucking genie
  • Some rich old guy who REALLY needs therapy
  • The Box Ghost
  • Bullied kid from the 50s who’s heavily implied to have taken his own life
  • 14 year old with a hoverboard and a gun
  • Government funded Ghost Cops
  • Actual Ghost Cops
  • A decades year old shadow demon that assumes the form of a human and feeds off the misery they create
  • His own parents
  • Himself

nine year old playing pirates

a lunch lady who took her job way too seriously

angry poet

Tumblr is an Amelia Bedelia ass website

No matter how precisely you try to phrase something, there's at least one person out there who will find a way to misinterpret you in a way that no reasonable person ever would in order to confirm some existing biases.

If I asked any given discourse blogger on this website to dust the furniture they would say "Okay" and start putting more dust on the furniture

Nobody is posting Amelia Bedilia's ass on this website, what the fuck?

Okay I do not give a shit about this article at all but where did they get this picture of the skeleton wearing prescription pill armor

Like this is the coolest fucking thing I have seen in a while who made this

is he also in front of the white house?

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He's the president

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ok so being a parent IS really hard but not the way you think. well its probably hard the way you think but its ALSO really hard because my toddler pronounces peanut butter like "peepee yaya". and see, because he learns from me, i can't say "peepee yaya", no matter how much i want to, because i have to teach him that it is actually pronounced "peanut butter". and dont even get me started on how he pronounces "shaun the sheep" (shit the shit)

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther

me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid

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oh my god the original out in the wild

I hate correcting customers who call me ma'am and miss and honey over the phone, because only about 30 percent of the time do they apologize and start calling me sir, while 70 percent of the time they double down assuming I was trans and continue misgendering me on purpose to show how little respect they have for me as a human being. "Thank you, MISS."

I'm a cis man, for the record.

Whenever I correct someone and they keep it up, I simply refuse service. "Oh, I'm sorry, we're completeley booked up the day you wanted. Yeah, no, we're booked up on your backup dates too. Looks like our next opening isn't until, hmm, mid-November. Oh, but it doesn't have enough beds for your party. We could probably fit you in around New Years, but you'd have to change rooms every day. You might wanna try [more expensive motel] a few blocks north of us, they might have vacancies. Have a good day."

I've been able to dodge what few complaints we've gotten so far because they all tell my boss that they just spoke to a very nasty woman, and she has no idea who they're talking about. "You must have dialed the wrong number, because I'm the only woman here, and I didn't talk to you." That PISSES THEM OFF, and she doesn't understand why they respond with "well we've been staying there for years, but we're never coming back." They think she's protecting me, an afab trans man, and are disgusted by it, but from her perspective they're just crazy people who are complaining about made up bullshit; it doesn't even cross her mind that they're talking about me. Why would it?

My boss is like 70 or 75, and was a Republican until 2016. It's never come up in conversation, but something tells me she wouldn't exactly be a trans ally. I'm in a weird position here, and it's hilarious.