sorry to keep baristaposting but i have to share the conversation i just had
customer: "i'll have a latte, please. wait - do you keep your milk in the fridge?"
me: "yes, all our milk's refrigerated."
customer, looking suddenly dispirited: "i see. so it won't be hot."
me: "...we heat the milk up before we add it to the coffee."
customer, brightening up again: "oh! well, that's okay then!"
another pic, different angle
^ important
big boy
michaelangelo could put all that work into perspective tricks and he still couldn’t sculpt a titty
Look, he was a genius, but he was also Gay
people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now
The older this post gets the funnier it becomes
My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.
that’s how fucked up our world is now
This is another "hot coffee" lawsuit, meaning, "customer got life-threatening injuries from lack of safety mechanisms, and the company has convinced the press that it's actually Karen Bitching About Breaking A Fingernail."
Whenever you see these: Remember that even sleazeball ambulance-chaser lawyers are not going to take on mega-corporations like McDonald's or Disney if they don't think they have a real case.
It is, in fact, a crime and a violation of lawyer ethics code - like, the kind that can get them sanctioned or disbarred if it's bad enough - to take on cases that they know are bogus; it's considered a waste of the court's time, which is a waste of public resources. They are literally not allowed to present a case to the court that they know damn well is not a valid claim for damages.
If you drop a coffee cup on your foot, and it is bruised and sore for a week... no lawyer is going to help you sue McDonald's for having slippery coffee cups.
But that's the kind of thing they are trying to claim happened here, tried to claim happened in the Liebeck coffee case. (...Don't google for the images unless you have a strong stomach.)
Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.
Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:
I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.
me when im a flea
Official Sky-Menacing Penis Post
my 60yo technologically challenged dad is obsessed with silverback gorillas for some reason and today he asked what a furry was. when i explained it and explained fursonas he said without missing a beat “i’d be a gorilla” and im still shaking over this….. this man announced his own fursona within one (1) minute i.e. 60 seconds of learning what a furry is
gorilla heritage post
Thank you Mr. President it’s an honor
Look we have records of Medieval Knights crying out in their sleep, having emotional outbursts or flinching at the sound of clashing metal. We have records of people all through history who were treated badly by people who should have loved them, and having problems knowing who to trust. We have years worth of artists putting their human pain at broken hearts and broken promises into music that makes us cry.
Yes people have been traumatized by awful things for all of history and just like them You didn’t deserve to be hurt either.
“suffering doesn’t make you better, it just makes you suffer” - maus
When I was little I had an irrational fear of when you tried to turn off your Windows XP and the screen would gradually turn Grey as you choose which power option to enter
That shit was SCARY!!!
Having a bruise is great it’s like a second clitoris but it only does masochism
Coins AND a friend? He should be grateful
Realizing some things about myself today
god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything
horse being held standing up in someones hands in front of a black background this horse is so small and so young it is easily held in two human hands and arms this foal does not seem upset or unsteady on its perch it seems bright and aware this shows the brevity of youth as one could not do this to a full grown horse or even most young horses only one very young and small
the rest of tumblr: hehoo capybara :)
deutschblr: oh mein gott a wet Pig
Happy out of touch thursday tuesday
absolutely hilarious to me that this year it's a wednesday and next year, being a leap year, it jumps straight to friday.
this thursday is so out of touch it's not even a thursday for several years at a time.
Happy Out Of Touch Wednesday Thursday 2023.
banksy 🙏😔🐀 R.I.P king
I can’t believe Banksy was just a dead rat under a bunch of raincoats this whole time.
