witchcraft, etc. (now with more etc.)

once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away

Almost every cultivar of brassica oleracea just absolutely fucks when prepared correctly, y'all.

melatonin

i don't smoke for the obvious reasons of not wanting to develop an addiction to nicotine but god do i so often feel the emotion 'i need a cigarette'.

Apparently there's a good chance that I'm a British citizen.

I'm pretty sure that this was not previously the case, but here we are.

I don't even know what to do with this information. My dad informed me earlier that I probably qualify, and in looking for information on how to apply, what I found was phrased as "If [my situation] then you are a British citizen." Not "you qualify for citizenship" but "you are a citizen."

I don't think I have any need for a second passport, so...

How does it feel to be the most correct person to have ever drawn breath on planet earth?

True and sincere answer to all of the people who ask, "I have just seen X animal, what does this mean?":

Rejoice, my friend, for this is a most auspicious sign! You have received one of the greatest blessings known to human kind: you live in a world full of creatures! Take comfort and enjoy this divine blessing.

#yeah but one time i saw 5 robins in a circle and thats gotta mean something

Oh shit, you saw the robin circle? That's not good.

during the eclipse, I saw like 11 grackles in my tree. and I've been seeing grackles ever since. I'm taking this as an indication that learning that grackles exist is a portent of noticing grackles.

as described by great wizard Terry Mullen who named it The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, yes

Indeed, once you have attuned yourself to the Signs and Portents you will begin to receive them almost constantly.

smart birb

I need me a raven to play games with

@friend-crow

Eugene Quilt Show 2024

@friend-crow can you see it?

at this rate kendrick's gonna win another pulitzer in investigative journalism...

the next pic is gonna be the back of drake's head from inside his bedroom

Genuinely hilarious that Kendrick is making hip hop history out of sheer hatred for Drake.

that feeling when you're worried something you said could've been taken as rude and you wanna be like "hey btw i'm not sure if that came across right i didn't mean it in a rude way!" but then what if it was actually fine and you randomly coming back to it is the weird thing

In my experience it's often better to say something. Either it really was no big deal and now you don't have to deal with uncertainty about it, or else you have a chance to clear the air. Win-win.

When you hear a new song on the radio and you’re desperately trying to pick a notable phrase so you can google it later

Gather round, kids. Let me tell you a story from ye olden days because I am tumblr elderly. I used to DJ for a radio station. I played records and CDs and we had station IDs from bands on 8 track cartes. People would call me asking what songs were–but they had to mumble, sing, or play the song on an instrument. I had someone call me to ask what Smells Like Teen Spirit was when it was a single. They played it on an accordion. I forgot about it until a moment ago when I saw this post.

They played it on an accordion

DID SOMEBODY SAY "SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT PLAYED ON ACCORDION"??