For y'all pizza KEEPERS

I don't give a fuck if you think you da pizza keeper. If you think you iz one of them pizza watchers and gonna intimidate me cuz you be standing in front of the pizza, think again cuz i be going in for the 5th slice.

This strawberries are so sassy & so Me. I feel so connected to them. & they even taste like me, Delicious that is. I must've been one of this strawberries in another life il love them too much.

I volunteer NASA for the life on mars mission & i would like to stay there. I am officially done.

Like all of my energies from now on will be to live life my way. Like I'm done caring about others more than i care about myself. It leads nowhere but to a confusing path with no light. From now on i will care about my goals. All of my focus will not be to get people to like me but to fall in love with myself. Develop crazy high dreams for my life and manifesting them. AMEN.

LIFE TIPS I WISH MY DAD GAVE ME BEFORE HE WALKED OUT

There are two tricky things that can end your life. 1)disarming a BOMB 2) scrolling tumblr in public. "Now son you are ready for the world." *Throws fetus down the window*

Why am i not tumblr famous yet?????!/???? I laughed. Like really hard. Ain't nobody watching

Trynna leave porn but tumblr...

LISTEN to the voice that says to NOT GO OUT. please and thank you. *like 10 people max lookin' at each other*

*Engages eye contact with stranger* Yeah stranger i know we've only known each other for 5 seconds & we haven't even talked. Like i don't even know your name but like if you don't hold my hand somebody else will.

100% of the time you'll find me colder than the mother f*cking north pole, but if you have the f*cking balls of KING KONG & aproach me to make me laugh. YOU WILL WIN AT LIFE & I'M YOUR PRIZE.

*Smokes weed once*

This is something more than life

*Stays up at night wondering if he's going to hell for ordering whatever the fuck he wants on amazon with his mom's credit card*

*when you go get the bae a drink, but then you look back & a basic wants to slip in*

*LISTENS TO LANA DEL REY ONCE*

Questions of the universe

Hold a minute is this iggy's radio or victorious????