im about to test the limits of discord nitro
we are almost there folks
discord you can lag all you want but you arent going to stop me from fitting the entire bee movie into a 50 MB gif.
Let me win, you fool.
is this how we play this game? very well.
my friends support me. i know within my heart. i can do it.
I did it…. I did it everyone. I’m the happiest person in the world.
saw this massive onion bigger than my entire hand in the produce aisle and immediately snatched it up solely to weigh it and a guy across the aisle asked how much it weighed because he was curious as well and when i told him it was two pounds he excitedly was like “it’s like the biggest one i’ve ever seen..” humanity rocks moment. bonding with strangers over giant onion
soooo.
fuck discord.
Turn these off NOW. If you wait they can use whatever you've said or shared with your friends on there until whenever you turn it off, even after you turn it off.
Turn them off and tell Discord to get their head out of their arse and go fuck themselves.
*record scratch* hold up, what was that?
a new Hammer horror film?? they’re doing Jekyll and Hyde??
and it’s starring *checks notes* it’s starring
Suzy Izzard as Dr. Nina Jekyll??
Not a single monkey survived the Neuralink experiment. I’ll bet Elmo can’t wait to start torturing and murdering human beings with this.
"average person burns 3 candles a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person burns 0 candles a year. erik phantomopera, who lives in cellar and burns over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
my favorite work memory from this store will always be “hey remember when the subway inside the store closed down and they let me take a bunch of their shit for free and now it lives inside my house?”
my life is a joke
I read an AITA post a few weeks back about a woman who liked having snacks in the bath when she's had a long day (a result of residual trauma iirc - the bath was her safe space). Her brand new husband of three weeks, a man twice her age who had no job, made her pay all of his bills and do all housework, and spent all day every day gaming because he wanted to make it as a Twitch streamer, had always been fine with this; but, on the day in question, had whisked her bath snacks out of her hands as she was on her way to the bathroom and tried to bin them, telling her it was time to 'break her of that filthy habit in his home'. She told him if he ever actually paid anything towards the house she owns outright he might get a say, took her snacks back, and had her lovely bath. He was since giving her the silent treatment.
(Obviously the judgement was an avalanche of 'NTA and also he's abusing you', which she agreed with, and decided to kick him out, so happy ending.)
Anyway I told my husband about this and he was outraged. "I would never do that!" he told me, furious. "I would find it adorable if you had bath snacks!"
Since then, every time I try to have a bath (which I only do as a rare treat) after about ten minutes there has been an anxious scrabbling at the bathroom door.
"Elanor!" he says. "Do you have bath snacks? Do you need anything?"
My answer is irrelevant. He brings me wine and poptarts. Now I have bath snacks. I'm a bath snacks person. Last time he was literally sleeping on the sofa when I went for the bath. Somehow this still happened. I now have an eager bathroom butler. How did this happen. I have never been so decadent yet bewildered.