hello to anyone coming here from twitter! this account has traditionally been even more shitposty than twitter was but who knows, maybe i'll bring some of the twitter energy back over here.
love, roaratorio
you think adding a link is gonna get anyone on here to go to a news website?! NARC
ah, yyes, sorry
this paragraph hit me like a truck
if i ever write something set in the united states im just going to do zero research whatsoever and make stuff up to sound cool it’s equality
the lush impenetrable jungles of massachusetts
I think people often underestimate the potential educational value of senseless memes. For example, thanks to Spiders Georg, literally every teenager on Tumblr has a reasonable grasp of what a statistical outlier is and the sorts of problems that outliers can introduce into a naïve analysis. There are grown adults who don’t get that - I deal with them on a daily basis.
“Memes have educational value” actually statistical error. Average meme teaches 0 facts. Spiders Georg is an outlier adn should not be counted
for the redditors coming here, this is how we spread news of important events in the world, with a Destiel meme
For everybody who's been here a while and felt like Wiley E. Coyote just after running off the edge of the cliff when they scrolled down to find nothing below
I truly am obsessed with how Knives Out was like. Hello Daniel Craig, man who has spent the past two decades of his career being alternately beaten up and objectified playing an action hero with no personality. Would you like to please put on a shirt and an incomprehensible vaguely Texan accent and flex your character acting dark comedy muscles as well as your pecs for a while. And he's like BOY WOULD I and they made a work of art. Also love that they put Chris Evans in sweaters. Get your beefcakes then dress them nice make them soft and give them some bonkers character work to do it's what cinema needs more of
I love that several people have responded to this with "op I forgive you cause you're Scottish but that's not a Texan accent" which is fair thank you I appreciate it but no two people have agreed on what accent it is which is also Absolutely fair and hilarious as a reaction to this film
Cannot stress enough that I do not know what the fuck a foghorn leghorn is but literally a hundred people have said it to me so far so I'm assuming it's important to, like, Americans
The idea that Foghorn Leghorn,
The Rhode Island rooster from Looney Toons, is one of the Elder Gods of America, is honestly fascinating from a theological and folkloric viewpoint
Pardon me, but he is a LEGHORN, not a RIR. It’s in his NAME. Leghorns are an Italian breed. And yes, he is an elder god.
According to Foghorn's Tvtropes page:
Presumably, it's less that Foghorn Leghorn is a Rhode Island Rooster and more that he's a Rooster who lives in Rhode Island, possibly a Central Virginian Leghorn Rooster living in Rhode Island, though that implies a complicated and interesting life story that took him from Central Virginia all the way to Rhode Island
I would not rely on TV Tropes as an unbiased source. Wikipedia simple says his species is officially “rooster” and mentions a Leghorn being a breed of chicken. TV Tropes probably thinks the Cornflakes chicken is a RIR too.
I am potentially willing to concede he is a “barnyard mix” (cross between breeds) and his father, Harold Leghorn, was a leghorn and his unnamed mother was a RIR or other dark variety.
I love this site.
Sometimes it’s 1:30 am and you own chickens and you’re drinking whiskey in the bath tub and accuracy about iconic fictional chickens is the hill to die on, ok, and that’s why I love Tumblr.
Where this post started
Where it ended up
my favorite genre of post is "absurd internet drama i've never ever heard of told in a carefully-paced screenshot montage set to In The Hall of the Mountain King"
Look, I’m not saying if Herman Melville was alive today he would totally have an A03/fanfiction.net account… but that’s exactly what I’m saying.
Still went a little over my time limit for this one, but getting faster I think.
movie that's basically the plot of eternal sunshine of the spotless mind but it's about a guy trying to forget he ever saw supernatural
[ID: a text conversation.
person 1:
We're JUST like the allegory of the cave
person 2:
wgich one
spiders georg?
person 1:
PLATO
/end ID]
The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:
- the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”
- That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”
- oh, that hurt
- I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots
- the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life
- on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious
- I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was
- The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”
- God.
- for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again
- it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”
There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two
There once was a man from Verdun
juniperlefae
Oh Big Blue Bug that’s interesting I wonder what that looks like—
Jesus H. Christ
get in everyone we’re going on a roadtrip
yeah your boyfriend’s a stag now. yeah he accidentally saw diana bathing and she turned him into an animal so he can’t tell anyone what he’s seen. he’s still the same guy mentally though. oh look his dogs are running up to him. maybe they’ll recognize him that’ll make him feel better
dashboard simulator
mutual 1: [one million posts about a fandom im not in. in the span of five minutes]
mutual 2: M. Caelius too must not pass unnoticed, notwithstanding the unhappy change, either of his fortune or disposition, which marked the latter part of his life. As long as he was directed by my influence, he behaved himself so well as a tribune of the people, that no man supported the interests of the senate, and of all the good and virtuous, in opposition to the
mutual 3: patricide would fix me
mutual 4: [5000 word theoretically informed breakdown of a book i have not read]
mutual 5: #omg this reminds me of the roman legal system
mutual 6: cannibalism is so mainstream now we need to start posting about necrophilia
mutual 7: so a detailed prosopographical analysis of this roman family reveals that actually they all died due to being haunted by an ancestral curse
mutuals 8-10: this tv show is actually just sophocles’ oedipus. to me
mutual 11: [this post contains filtered tags] [this post contains filtered tags] [this post contains filtered tags] [this post contains filtered tags] [this post contains filtered tags]
mutual 12: here’s why these two words actually have NO etymological connection!!!
mutual 13: i’m just like this 18th century lawyer but a girl
mutual 14: cicero big naturals
mutual 15: scurvy is inherently both transgender and sexy…… put the rot in eroticism or whatever
mutual 16: she moby on my dick until i doomed by the narrative
WAIT FIVE GUYS ISNT A MASC HOOTERS???
I want to print this ask out and frame it and keep it on my nightstand so it's the first and last thing I look at every day until I die
