It’s always been you
By fr3g-fr0g-0racl3
DO NOT REPOST
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Tags: confession, miscommunication cause yeah, slight angst, fluff
You had been with the guardians for long enough to know their little ticks and habits but you could never properly understand Quill. He would seem so content around you some days yet absolutely uncomfortable the next. There was nothing to explain it in your mind except that he just was plain bothered by you. The only days he’d seem comfortable around you was when someone else was nearby, otherwise he’d just seem different, as if your presence was a problem.
On one of those days where the two of you were alone in the ship’s kitchen you noticed the way he kept his distance. It was as if you were some sort of threat to him and in the awkward silence you decided to speak. “Peter, you can always ask me to leave if I make you uncomfortable. You know that right?” More silence. “You don’t- why- I’m not uncomfortable.” He struggled to form a sentence, as if there were too many thoughts racing through his mind at once and he hesitated to even move. “Don’t try to explain yourself. I understand if you need me to go.” The tone of your voice was filled with poison, you were snapping at him in a way you never thought you would.
You shut the door to the fridge and left before he could respond and left to your room but not before muttering something you wished you could take back. “Why even have me replace your damn girlfriend if you’re just gonna be a bitch to me all the time…”
As you sat on the edge of your bed plush in hand, and your outfit only consisting of an oversized shirt and boxers, you felt a stream of tears threaten to stain your cheeks. “What was I thinking? There is no way he’s ever going to forgive me for that…” You knew you could’ve just spoken like a regular person and just asked why he was the way he was around you and you knew that the way he acted could’ve just been you over analyzing. Despite your rationalizing you still felt as if you’d done the worst thing in the world. Assuming that he was uncomfortable? Assuming he hated you? For some reason you always thought the world would end with every decision you made involving him.
There was no way. This was just general anxiety right? You shouldn’t, you couldn’t be… he’d been grieving the loss of Gamora and you were sitting here realizing that you were in love with him. To make matters worse you had poured salt to the wound when you had snapped at him. “Wallace what is wrong with me?” Laying back on your bed you pulled the plush manatee Mantis had bought you closer before realizing that Peter was standing at the door, watching you as he knocked. “Can I come in?” You hoped deep inside that he hadn’t seen you talking to your plush but as soon as you thought about it he spoke up again. “Or does Wallace not want me around right now?” You wished you could groan in embarrassment but instead you simply motioned for him to sit next to you.
It took you all but four minutes to realize what you were wearing when he walked in. Four damn minutes. The thing is that he didn’t seem to mind and if you pushed him out so suddenly… You were worried that he’d assume that you’d changed your mind and leave. That’s why despite your best judgment you let him sit next to you. You who was only wearing a t-shirt and panties. You who had just figured out your feelings for him. You were the one sitting inches away from him, on your bed, in your room, behind closed doors. God it was horrible timing and your heart was beating but you thought it’d be better to get it done and over with.
To your surprise, he cuts you off before you even make a sound, you wanted to curse him, thinking he might do something stupid but instead he nervously rubbed the back of his neck and spoke. “I uh- I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I was uncomfortable around you or that I hated you. I’ve just been….” He trails off, mumbling things you don’t quite hear and you shake your head. “It was wrong of me to snap at you like that Quill, although I did think you hated me.” You weren’t going to lie and pretend that he didn’t give off that vibe, if you were going to admit to your feelings lying to spare his feeling was just simply out of the question. “No, no that was reasonable, you called me out for my behavior so don’t apologize. Yeah it wasn’t the nicest but we both know that I’m dense and if you were too nice about it I wouldn’t understand.”
It did help that he was at least self aware but you knew you had to apologize for the comment you made involving Gamora, it wasn’t fair of you to go there. “Okay but still Peter, I shouldn’t have insinuated that you used me as a replacement for Gamora. That was just completely wrong of me.” He was glad you took accountability for the comment as he nodded his head and stood back up to leave, looking back at you, hoping that now you both could be more comfortable around each other. “Hey wait- there was something else I needed to tell you… I know my timing is way off but, I think that I really like you Peter…”
Silence. Crap was your timing really that bad? Did he think you were making a cruel joke or something? But you just had that great moment of communication, what the hell?
“It’s always been you. Since she died you were there, in ways I didn’t know I needed, not as a replacement but more like- just being there and you did the little things she did. Like- like when you help me with my laundry you joke about my stupid boxers or when I’m eating an insanely horrid food combination you scrunch your face but you laugh about it and let me eat in peace instead of nagging me. It’s been you for a long time, you are who I like but, but I worry that being with you means I forget her…”
More silence but this time it was from you. There were so many thought going through your mind regarding this but legitimately what would you say that would actually help? You decided you’d try anyway as you took a deep breath before speaking. “You won’t forget her, but you can let go in a sense… that doesn’t mean she’s not- y’know here in a way. I’m willing to wait. I’ll wait a hundred years for you to be ready.” He nodded, teary eyed and still nervous as he leaned down to you just to hug you tight. “Thank you.”
Authors Note: Y’all got a two (make that three as of now) for one fuckin special cause I wrote this and I’m gonna give y’all a part two for the last fic. On a side note I’m gonna let these be as cringe as possible cause it’s way funnier for me to watch people suffer reading through them. Yes I know this was short but I need to slowly work my way back to writing bigger pieces tbh. I just got a lot goin on