“i don’t wanna talk about dead nipples”

@camembertlythere

me hyping myself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

I made the absolutely fucktacular mistake of giving my dog buttons that I recorded words on to talk with and she keeps waking me up in the thrice damned wee hours o the night to tell me and doubtless she could not pOSSIBLY wait until morning to say that she wants to eat the cat’s food

apparently when my sleep cycle is disrupted at a very precise interval my view of the universe fractures and alters because I may have not been religious before but now I believe deeply that god with a capital G denied Dogs with a lowercase d the ability to speak for a Reason and we should respect Her infinite wisdom on this matter

I have soared too close to the sun, in my arrogance I have built a tower too high unto the sky- it is made of cheap plastic recordable buttons and it is about to topple and take human language, as my dog knows it, down with it

Me: *is awoken to the sound of my own voice echoing in the dark passages of the night*

Me: How could I have laughed at Victor, how could I have scorned his anguish in the sight of his glorious but unnatural creation??? Only now do I understand, only now-

My dog in the background who has taken my voice as her own: dinner dinner dinner

these porn bots and their heart emojis when content creators keep complaining about not getting notes anymore:

You will respect black cats or you will respect these hands my friend

here is a corner of a room that has a penis and balls

i have truly posted some things online

to the window to the walls to the corner dick and balls

Martin Luther King speaking to striking workers in Memphis

printing important documents

danettestokely

Very important business

Definitely business related

Personal Assistant

So, I’ve been pulled over a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. And I’ve also been in a couple of cars that got pulled over. And let me tell you, if you were actually doing something wrong, the officer doesn’t make any small talk, just straight into “I clocked you doing 70 in a 55.” The only time I’ve ever gotten the “do you know why I pulled you over?” was the time when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I got let go even though he insisted to the end that I was doing 87 in a 70 (white privilege at work).

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.

But there’s another trap, that I’ve heard of but haven’t yet experienced. It’s “do you know how fast you were going?” With that one, they’re hoping you’ll say no, because then they can name whatever speed they want – you just said you didn’t know how fast you were going, if you deny the speed they name then you’re lying to them.

Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.

Honestly I’m a little tired of the abortion discussion centering around child raising and such. Like, if I got pregnant today, and someone offered to adopt the child and pay for my medical bills and everything, I still would have an abortion? You know why? Because I don’t want to be pregnant. I don’t want to put my body through that for nine months. And I don’t want to risk my life in childbirth. Fact is no one will be able to do that for me, so untimately it’s my choice and that’s all there is to it. 

I might lose some followers but this is so important to me. I’m a mother, I’ve been through pregnancy and labor, and friends let me tell you- that shit is HELL. No one should be forced to go through that. Ever. Abortion is a right. Periodt.

As someone who doesn’t want to be pregnant and has tokophobia, I second this! Abortion is a right for everyone!

KASJSJSHSJSJSK

DUDE IS NASTY

The fact that y'all made a while diagram eye 💀

okay but is he any different from any other male lead? thought this was a Hollywood casting problem not a leo dicaprio problem

You’re reading the graph wrong, those are his girlfriends, not his co-stars

Why are we infantalizing grown women?

I think it’s more a questioning of his motives/lack of interest in women his own age and not saying his girlfriends don’t have agency.

Alec Goddamn Baldwin posted this to 1.4 million followers. 

Oh bullshit, let me count the red flags.

First red flag… the right side is cut off and you can’t even read it all. I realize you can make it out with context clues, but if you believe you are trying to spread important medical info about a pandemic, maybe make sure all the damn words are visible.

I mean, what drunkard screencapped this? 

Oh. 

Well, good luck with those wine tariffs, Suzanne. 

Thankfully I found a non-cropped version that is just blurry instead. Let’s see what other red flags it contains. 

Second red flag? “A Japanese doctor.” 

No name. No credentials. Just some doctor in Japan somewhere. Are they implying Japanese doctors are smarter or more competent? Are they implying he has some ancient samurai medical wisdom? 

Red flag the third… What is a lung hospital? And is that where you are supposed to go when you get a viral infection? Wouldn’t a virus hospital be better?

Now we’re done with the Japanese doctor for a bit and have moved on to “Taiwanese experts” for our fourth red flag. Apparently, if you hold your breath for 10 seconds you can rule out infection. No need for a fancy test, just stop breathing! Plus, you might even cure your hiccups. 

Okay, back to the non-descript Japanese physician. He provides the “best advice” which is red flag number 5. The best advice is already out there. It was released by the CDC and WHO. The best advice would not be some low-key secret only a rando Japanese doctor would know. 

But let us look at this best advice for red flag number 6. 

“Everyone should make sure the mouth and throat are always moist.” 

That’s a red flag purely because I hate the word moist and wish people would stop using it. 

“Drink some water every 15 minutes. Why not?” 

That’s not terrible or anything. It’s the added “Why not?” that adds a 7th red flag. Can you imagine if doctors tried to convince people to take vaccines by saying, “Take all your shots. Why not?”

And then we get to the real bullshit. The ultimate red flag. The red flag larger than all the others combined. 

Apparently, if you drink the virus, your tummy will kill it. 

Because acid, I guess. 

What if the virus enters through the nose? Should you drink through your nose every 15 minutes? And wouldn’t better advice be about keeping the virus out of your damn mouth in the first place? Ya know, wash your hands, stay away from crowded places, cough in your arm. 

How is “Drink that damn virus right down and KILL THAT FUCKER WITH ACID” the “best advice”? 

So… now that we have determined this is bullshit, how do we counteract this shitty viral post about a virus? 

What is the best solution to quash this disinformation helped along by a glorified Donald Trump impersonator?

I say we fight fire with fire. 

I have created my own shitty screencap for everyone to spread. 

Sorry, I was hitting the wine pretty hard when I capped that. 

It was box wine because that bottled stuff is too pricey. Probably because of tariffs.

You know what, I’ll just copy and paste the actual text.

“Drinking more water, while good for your overall health, will not keep anyone from catching the coronavirus, according to Dr. William Schaffner, an infectious diseases expert at Vanderbilt University. Schaffner told The Associated Press, “We always caution anyone healthy and people who are sick to keep up fluid intake and keep mucus membranes moist.” He also said: “It makes you feel better; there is no clear indication that it directly protects you against complications.”

–Snopes

Let’s look at the difference. We have an actual doctor’s name that we can look up. We know where he works, which we can also look up. We have a direct quote that can be verified. And there is even a link to the Snopes page for you to read more and check sources. No red flags. No mention of going to the lung hospital. 

Though I am deducting points for the gross but alliterative “keep mucus membranes moist” which is just about the worst sentence in the history of sentences. 

I wanted to post this here as well because I think during this time it is important we stay vigilant about the quality of information we share. I want people to learn how to better recognize bullshit and also how to refute the bullshit.

Please take an extra minute or two to check your sources and be kind to friends who are duped by bad information. Sometimes when people are scared it is easier to fall for things that look plausible. You can yell at Alec Baldwin though. He should know better. 

Black Panther 2 (dir. Ryan Coogler)

just saw an interview where Michael B. Jordan was asked why he crossed in front of the closing doors (see him in that last gif).  Danai really went for that dip and both she and Lupita, who were both wearing stilettos, ending up on their asses on the ground, so Michael is running over to help them. :)

self care is making your original content even if you think you’re the only one who likes it