they wanted him dead for his sad brown eyes and his slut waist
Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you’re helpfully like “oh yeah don’t drink the tap water, it’s got stuff in it that makes you sick” and then your neighbor you’ve had forever goes “oh they took the stuff out actually” and you’re like “what? when was this?”
“like two years ago”
“you mean i could’ve been drinking the tap water all this time?”
“yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don’t have to dig through the communal bin anymore”
“are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know”
and the new tennant is like “why did you guys even live here if it was so bad”
“we like it.”
“I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho”
“the perpetually naked guy got evicted though”
“i know, so sad. he was really gross”
“i mean, his cousin streaks through the commons sometimes and knocks on all the doors”
“oh yeah, hate that guy”
New Person: I just saw this weird guy in the lobby in a really creepy anthropomorphic Pikachu costume??????
Old Resident: yeah we have no idea where that guy came from. We’ve left messages with maintenance ‘bout ‘im but-
Other Old Resident: just don’t make eye contact and you should be fine.
“what are these strange markings in the paint?”
“Oh! Thats from the crab infestation!”
“The crab infestation?! Wow, glad they got that under control before I moved in.”
“Oh, no no, it was an intentional infestation.”
“Uh….”
“Yeah, we’re hoping they bring the crabs back next year. A lot of us made friends with those crabs.”
yourpaperpal
No, I’m not joking, he doesnt just look like him, I swear to God neil gaiman lives across the hall.
The apartment building throws holiday parties but not typical parties like for Christmas or Valentine’s day
Knives are decorating the walls for the Ides Of March.
There’s a community movie night held on October 3rd where tenants choose to watch either Mean Girls or binge watch all of Fullmetal Alchemist.
Every single apartment opens their windows and blasts Earth, Wind, and Fire on the 21st of September
November 5th rolls around and the entire building just erupts into inexplicable chaos
“What’s with the floor?”
“Color theory. Don’t worry about it.”
“Why is the cemetery across the street partially dug up?”
“Ah, yeah, there was a problem with grave robbing witches a while back.”
“Why do you do [totally normal thing] this way?” “Oh, [totally confusing and illogical system] is how we’ve always done it. "You think we call it a Hellsite for fun?”
Reblogs r appreciated mostly bc I just wanna see if a lot of people do this💀
Hey I'm gonna start something that'll maybe go nowhere let's go
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
mattheuphonium
fabulous
tockthewatchdog
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
Some magnet poetry from my school
"The final exam was a week away and he was in a panic. It’s one thing to drop out of Harvard to start a gigantic, world-changing company; it’s another to flunk."
Chemistry is actually about being curious about the other person and that’s all really that comes down to. - Daniel Radcliffe
Andrew Garfield and Jesse Eisenberg The Social Network (2010) dir. David Fincher
ripanimecharacter2012-2014-deac
the fact there’s a south park fandom that ships those little egg shaped racists like anime yaois makes me laugh but also really sad
I'm sad newsies is over so can we just take a minute to admire my jack costume cause DAMN our costumer popped off
Already miss it so bad
Page of Richie’s from a bit ago
killtheboyband-deactivated20220
please god i am so deathly sick of people saying like "how is this straight the writers are so dumb!" about literal actual gay media i don't know how to break it to you people but nbc hannibal is about two men who are attracted to each other. jennifer's body is about two women who are attracted to each other. i know you guys are used to only consuming captain america movies and the occasional mark zuckerburg biopic but there are writers who actually write gay people and they do in fact do so on purpose. you don't have to say "i can't believe the writers thought this was heterosexual" they literally did not
killtheboyband-deactivated20220
actually i cracked the code. you all are like this because you are biphobic
killtheboyband-deactivated20220
she says out loud with her mouth “i go both ways”
#for the record i do think david fincher knew exactly what he was doing with the social network#like everything in that movie was fully intentional and if more people than not who have seen it picked up on vibes#perhaps it isnt just a coincidence or a collective fantasy for more gay media#its definitely a bizarre choice of film for that kind of tension to exist#but it finds a way#you got me there with the captain america thing though#and i fully agree with the point youre making#a lot of times when people complain that a piece of media is queerbating or doesnt have canon queer content or themes#its because the characters they expect this from are#in fact#bisexual#and i guess thats just not good enough#im ofc talking specifically about situations like the ones mentioned in the post
I hope this works lmao
The results are in! K.O.!
ok i just wanna check something.... reblog if you've never watched/opened tumblr live