This isn’t surreal this is high school

And college

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp

And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him

my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that

Reboot this post to be blessed with dream Obama’s wisdom

whoop there it is

If you white n you wanna help post this

medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later

this is… maybe the funniest thing that’s ever happened on television? i’ve never seen someone so thoroughly derail a late night talk show, i could honestly watch cardi b and john mulaney talk for hours

The noises she makes… amazing. 

I think Drew Gooden just solved the gun debate 

hey siri add to calendar ‘vandalize todd howard’s wikipedia page’ on april 25th, 2018

the day approaches

Today at Studyblr, we're gonna do realtalk

This one is for all ex-toppers, “gifted” students, child prodigies, straight A kids who are now extremely perfectionist, under creative paralysis, now in college/high school and having never learnt to study, don’t know how it’s done.

● Studying is absorbing knowledge. It is not “only for the less intelligent.” Studying all year doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It means you’re willing to learn.

● If you have never learnt how to study, you should now. Feynman technique, Cornell notes, pomodoro, whatever works for you.

● Chances are you have attention deficits. Sitting down to study for an hour must seem frightening. It’s okay. Don’t aim for hours. 25 mins.

● It is okay to ask for help. Meet your teachers. Ask how you can improve your grades. Try to analyse what you’re getting wrong.

● Offer to help. Once you learn your material, help friends understand. Let them quiz you. See, you’re still as smart as ever.

● You will still be good at the things you were. You will still be good at applying what you learn. For which, you should sit down and learn.

● You’re not expected to be born knowning the avogadro number and Cattel’s theories of Intelligence. You can learn. It’s okay if you didn’t get it right the first time.

● Your younger Hermione self had a lot less to deal with. This is honestly okay. You can learn.

● Trust me on this. This took me years to realise. It’s hard. But it can be done.

OH MY GOD

His face when he says “nickel” is great! XD

This reminds me of my little girl because her pants never have pockets

Haha Daddy you’re right! I neverrrrr have pockets, but that’s why you have them! You’re my pockets Daddy. ♥

i think about this post a lot. like, when you put something up on tumblr, you can never really be sure what’s going to happen to it - what comments will get attached to it, what reblog chains will gain critical mass, what kind of weird tumblr subcultures your gifs will get reblogged into.

and then we have this. this is a gifset of a cute moment from a pixar movie. of an infant mike wazowski finding a small coin and lamenting his lack of any pockets to store it in. when this person torrented monsters university, when they loaded these frames into photoshop, when they sharpened each frame one by one, did they know? did they know that shortly after expelling these gifs into the universe they would become a magnet for daddys-rainbow-princess, mister-daddy, and babygirl-in-daddys-world?

knowing what they know now, if they had the choice to go back to that moment when their finger hovered over the m key as the cursor in the pirate bay search bar blinked, would they type the rest of the word? if they had the power to go back in time and not make this gifset, thereby sparing the world from seeing a bunch of daddy kinksters opine about pockets on a goddamn pixar gifset, would they? 

all of these people are deactivated this is like an archeological dig

Imagine all the funny things we missed that happened before humans existed. Like dinosaurs tripping over. Or ancient birds having hilarious reactions to trying a new and spicy food.

This doesn’t effect me as I am ancient but can someone @staff confirm if this means that those under 16 in the EU will have their accounts locked come May 25th? It used to be 13 years old so this is confusing and I know it will affect quite a lot of people who follow me

If you live 70 years, you spent 10 years on monday.

He committed to how pissed off he was

I love how petty this is

I hope he brought the video to traffic court to contest the ticket lol

I love the poetry that this gifset ends with him running into a police car.

This is a tactic called Uncivil Obedience: where you follow the law so stringently that it exposes the injustice the law causes.

reblog this if you want a LONG (or short) anonymous message saying what they think of you.

reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die

i aint risking being a weak ass ghost

im hot

H ard to love O bnoxious T errible