ForkAte

A weird unicorn – better avoid it.

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

reminds me of this gif

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

much woah

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

Y’all have no idea how hard I was trying not to laugh in class at that poor bird

They…they just blew up a fucking bird…

Ball’s dead. Bird’s dead. I’m dead

World Heritage Post

personally my favorite thing about Mr. Bird Evaporator is this imagine being the poor fool tryna rob this man’s house only to be instantly transported to the same dimension as that bird

He does photography now, and I guess just in case you’re booking him wondering “is it that Randy Johnson?” … here’s his logo:

Dude popped that bird and made it his whole personality. And you know what, I respect it. I’d do the same if I had that to my name.

yes and

and 

As a trans woman I can confirm that they indeed found an ancient forest inside a 630ft deep sinkhole in China

cis people can reblog this but keep it on subject, please

Happy pride month everyone always remember that the sinkhole has an ecosystem large enough to house not only insects but likely several species of small birds or mammals

I FINALLY FOUND IT AGAIN

Link in bio

The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

if you think about it, every time we tranquilize animals to transport them safely to another place, we are the sleep paralysis demon

bible says after we're resurrected not a single hair on our heads will be lost. rip to women who spent a fortune on laser hair removal. god does not care and hairy mother mary will be gluing that shit back on w tender loving care one by one

me looking at hair removal ads: i don't think my mother, inventor of Jesus Christ, would be too pleased to hear about this

I am reasonably fun to hang out with and my company is enjoyed by well over 10 people worldwide

No you cannot fix your entire life at 2am. Go to bed.

You can fix some of it though! By going to bed.

Ever since I read a post saying "don't trust yourself after 9pm" whenever I find myself spiralling at 2am I check the time, see it's after 9pm, and remember not to trust myself and just go to sleep. Works wonders. The problems are never as bad in the morning.

this collar isnt a sex thing it's so the scientists who are studying me know where i am

The scientists studying me is definitely a sex thing though.

you WISH you were eating sweet mulberries from a stranger’s overgrown tree at twilight in a silent neighborhood

why is this getting notes. i was just bragging about my evening it was meant to be like a 2-3 note post with nothing but likes from mutuals

Politely, you did post something quiet and sweet on the yearning website

ok that one’s on me

Anyway here is your reminder that poor effeminate men existed in the 18th century and any reading of class that acts as tho every poor man was a hyper masculine rugged labourer and every rich man was a effeminate fop is an inherently flawed reading of class 🙃

reblogging again for this extremely important point, thanks for putting it so succinctly @carfuckerlynch

One of my favorite paintings at the Portland Art Museum. I especially love the work they did showcasing the historical context.

I've decided to use the term "convenience food" instead of "junk food."

I think it's more honest, and less loaded. It's all food, some of it is more appropriate when you don't have the spoons left for food prep. It takes slightly more energy to peel a banana than to open a bag of chips.

We try to save the convenience food for days when we need something easy, so eat a banana.

ENNH! WRONG ANSWER

All food fuels your body. If it contains calories, it is fuel. Some foods are denser fuels, some foods have nice additional benefits, but all foods fuel you.

Some foods are really good for building muscle, or supporting your bone health, or giving you energy. Some foods are really good at tasting nice. All of them fuel your body.

Good food/bad food is just puritan dichotomous thinking in service of the Shame Industrial Complex- let's get those "should" hooks intob everything you enjoy.

Food is fuel. Your relationship with it is personal. Almost all dichotomies oversimplify beyond utility.

So, I had to do a bunch of therapy as a kid because I had anorexia. My dietician drilled into me "food has no moral value. there's no such thing as Good Food or Bad Food; if it's edible and you're not allergic to it, then it has a use in your diet, even if that use is just 'enjoy eating it'. Enjoyment is part of your diet and happiness is a vital nutrient." Basically, even if ice cream "isn't healthy," if it helps you feel better after a shitty day then it's fulfilling one of your basic needs: happiness. So eat the fucking ice cream and feel better. ENJOYMENT IS PART OF YOUR DIET AND HAPPINESS IS A NUTRIENT

Moderation, in all things. Eat too many carrots and you can die too.

my disordered eating experience is that the only true junk food is the food I can’t bring myself to eat. nothing you actually swallow is wasted (unless you have a more specific situation). sugars, fats, proteins, vitamins, minerals, the body can turn it all into Being Alive. virtue? not so much.