reblog if you’re inbox is open
Burn.
I’ve burned everything you gave me. Watched it all melt and go up in flames. I hate that I can’t burn the memories of you out of my head. The lies you told me. The feel of your touch. I tried. I tried to burn the parts of me you ruined. But I can’t get rid of you. And you have the gall the nerve to smile at me like you didn’t ruin me. If only you knew what you pushed me to. I loved you and I would have done anything for you. You used me and threw me away like a broken toy. But what I hate most is that I still love you and you still have power over me. I see you and It hurts. God must really hate me to let me survive and go through this hell. For lord knows I’m not not dead yet for lack of trying.
Anonymous asked:
Hey ship do you like birds? I’m at work rn (I work at a gas station) and this guy just drive thru with a bird on his steering wheel and it was trying to turn the wheel.
I like birds but the fact that you didn’t identify what kind of bird was driving this car makes me very uneasy. Was it a parrot? A dove? Or some kind of wild bird, like a crow or a robin or a bald eagle? Was there a fucking ostrich crammed into his car wrestling with him for control of the wheel? Did the bird order anything for itself?
Heart
You told me you could feel my heart beating. Of course you can when your squeezing it in Your fist. I told you you take my breath away but what I didn’t tell you is that you suffocate me with your foul attitude. For the life of me I can’t get over you cause I’m still under your thumb. You told me you love me but I wonder do you know what love is.
If only
I could go back to every time I failed and try again. Maybe I wouldn’t be here hurting rn. Just pulled the trigger again. Or let the car drift further. All this pain would be bothering me.
I wonder.
I wonder who’ll cry for me when I’m gone. How long it’ll take for the people who called me friends to forget about me. If my parents will ever really care. Who will show up to my funeral, pretending they were there for me when I needed them. Lie and say we were close when they left me in my hole. I’m drowning and they’re telling me to swim as they thrown more weight on me. Maybe I’ll get the balls to do it finally. I just wish I could see afterwards. Stop this itch that’s keeping me from ending it.
my thoughts in oil pastel text on colored paper (pt 2) i wrote whilst i was feeling upset, lonely and angry & it was raining outside
“You look sad today.”
- Actually I’m sad everyday, but I didn’t have energy today to hide it.
Source: neuroticdream
When you wake up and enjoy the 3 seconds of calm before depression and anxiety kick in
Love is a disease.
And the only cure is death. I pray someone will cure me soon. I can’t keep living like this.
Empty.
Everything that I thought would make me happy has suddenly become empty. I’m starting to revert back into my childhood where when I’m hurt like I am I isolate myself. I become a functioning mute. I miss him so much but I also hate him. God my heart hurts. I just wish I could talk to him. Or someone but those close to me don’t know nor do they care. I’ve been abandoned again. Time after time. It’s always the same. They’ll forget about me after I’m gone. I wish I could just be sucked into this book and be erased from this hell they call reality.
x--david--x-deactivated20190630
I’m not willing to try for you.
I’m willing to do for you.
.
I want to be your man.
I want to be your man only and your only man.
I want to be your most frequent thought.
I want to distract you from work.
I want to know that you
went to the store for eggs and flower,
yet returned with liquor and aphrodisiacs.
.
I’m willing to make myself
strong and reliable for you,
intelligent and wise,
free-breeze-cool, calm and collected,
Bare sexy and patient,
energetically stimulated, rejuvenated and ready for you.
.
I want to be good for you,
feed you when your hungry,
rub you when you’re stiff and aching.
I want to be bad for you just the same.
yes… feed you when you’re hungry
caress you when that body aches intensely.
.
I want the lights to show me your gorgeous figure,
the smile that breaks my disciplined stance,
those dark eyes that blink slowly,
melting my composition like sugar cubes
in a coffee cup oblivion.
.
I want to dim those lights,
watch your curves whirl in rosy shadows
like that of a phantom.
I want you trust how much I do admire you,
So I’ll have you feel how much I savor you.
.
I want to you to kiss away your soul
unto my flesh,
my head and my neck,
shoulders and chest.
Use your lips to
break my bones and bruise my skin.
You’ll still be cradled in my embrace.
.
I want to be what you want,
I want to be your home.
I want to be your dream come true,
to lay down with you under stars
just the same as skies of orange and pink
and of black and of blue..
.
I want to be loving you on the road,
under bridges and over hills
whether we’re rolling in a car,
or riding on two wheels.
.
I want to smile at you in
little boats that float on little lakes,
or while we tidy the house with rags and water
or clean the yard with wheelbarrows and old rakes.
.
I want to be who you turn to
who you count on,
who you can laugh with and sleep with
and cry to and lean on.
.
I want to be yours
not just today, not just tomorrow
because you make forever seem real,
with you in my life,
there is no more sorrow.
not knowing what you want to do with your life while you’re in college is possibly the worst thing to ever happen