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don’t you hate it when youre in a relationship but the other person doesn’t know

remember swine flu reblog if ur a tru 2009 kid

*gets anon hate from the dog with a blog*

Opposite of walking into a glass door.

i haVEe been laUAGHING AT thIS FOR 328 YeaRS

English teachers can either be the coolest teacher you ever had or the worst thing ever

barely passing a class like

*accidentally showers for 5 hours*

50 shades of dark circles under my eyes

without internet i’m nothing

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air I went to catch it I swear It hit a spider that fell and now they’re on my face

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

bad lip reading

motherfucka you gay

CRYING

started from the bottom and i was somehow able to get lower

Some of Ellen’s favorite tweets of the week. [video]

slowly approaching bear

the bears will be in eventually

Bear will arrive sooner than thought.

BEAR IS APPROACHING AT ALARMING SPEEDS

BEAR IS GO FAST LOSING TRACK OF BEAR

BEAR HAS REACHED MACH ONE

WE HAVE LOST VISUAL ON BEAR

if i lay here

if i just lay here

would you get me my charger because my laptop is about to die

Once u mess up liquid eyeliner there is no going back

My friends and I at the dances.