shout out to the funniest tag ive ever fuckin seen

A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide to Not Losing Your Shit in College (Condensed Version)

Bitches love to put things into lists. Moreover, bitches love numbered shit. Here’s some numbered shit in list format to help you not suck in higher education. You’re welcome.

1. Go to class. Like 210% serious. I don’t give a shit if you’re a get by on nothing, A+ slacker. You’re fucking paying for this crap so you might as well get the services owed to you. Take your ass to class even if you zone out 99% of the time. You know 1% more than you did when you walked up in there. Congrats, asshole.

2. All that free time you have during your first week of classes? Make it your bitch. Don’t just print the goddamn syllabus and be like all done. No motherfucker. Take a good fucking look at that assignment list. What’s due next week? Yeah, do that shit now bc I know you don’t have anything else to do. Then when you’re coughing up a lung six weeks into the semester and don’t feel like getting your ass up to do that calculus homework, you’ll remember this week. You’ll remember that you’ve been a week ahead this whole damn semester. Pat yourself on the back, ass wipe.

3. Prepare yo self. No seriously. You got notes to print for class? Sure you could be like all those other bitches and just shove them into your backpack, or you could actually /prepare/ for class. I’m talking looking that shit over, identifying key concepts, getting a decent grasp of the material before your ass is even in class. You a STEM major? Yeah, make this kinda shit your life because now class is like one bomb ass group review session. Again, you’re welcome.

4. Snack like a motherfucker, but save that junk food shit for the weekends. From now on, you are a fucking health guru during the week or if you’re a slacker like me, at least on the days you have class. Fruits? Hell yeah. Pack some of those. Mind wandering in class? Snack on some apple slices. Can’t stay awake? Keep eating some almonds or some shit, but don’t be that bitch with the potato chips. Just don’t.

5. Read. Yeah, you heard me. Read and I’m not just talking assigned reading. I bet my left butt cheek that your campus library has /something/ of interest to you. Commuting and don’t want to drive out there? Library databases bro. We’re in the digital age, motherfucker. I’d bet my other butt cheek that the shit you want is in a nice little PDF somewhere. But na man, you thinking maybe you want to go into computer science? Check out computer science books and eat them up bro. You don’t like reading them? Probably not the field for you. You a biology major in your second year? Yeah dumbass. Time to break out the bio books and not the ones your professor is shoving in your face. Amaze your friends and teachers with your out of class knowledge. Be a fucking star.

Is there a pin function for tumblr because I need this shit on my dash 24/7

Now you know sacrifice. Now you are ready for what comes with this gift.

trying to teach the 5 movements to your squad

Hi everyone. Some of you have already been following my story for a while now and have watched me struggle, but now I have started a new chapter in my life – hopefully one that will grant me and my little sisters a more peaceful life.

Long story short – all my life, my mother has neglected me and i have suffered through abuse from her. Now the same cycle is happening to my younger sisters, and they are only 10 and 9 years old. My mom is gone, i don’t know where she is and she has chosen to live on the streets, and the money she gets thats supposed to be for my sisters, she uses it all. she doesn’t help me with rent, food, or for any other necessity– she has essentially abandoned us. i’m broke and on my own, and I’m stressed.

However!!!! I have finally sought help after years of manipulation and abuse, too scared to get help because she would often threaten me or tell me I would be ruining everyones lives if I get help, but I did it!

Ive informed my sisters school on what’s been happening, and last week I went to court and officially filed the papers needed to get a hearing for my petiton of guardianship for my sisters. Attached above is some evidence of my temporary hearing this week. I have a permanent one in august as well. I hate asking for help, but I’m so low on funds and desperate. I just need help with transportation funds mostly, since I have to take both my sisters to the hearing via metro and bus, and the cost adds up.

If anyone would like to donate to my PayPal, I’ll greatly appreciate it! My PayPal email is reraimu@yahoo.com

U can also donate at this link paypal.me/raimu

Thank you so much. If u have any questions Pls message me off anon.

If you can’t donate, reblogging this would help so much!! Thank you again ;-;

hello again everyone! thank you so much for your encouragement and support. the judge granted me temporary guardianship on June 23r d!!!!! attached below is evidence of the Letters of Temp Guar dianship I filed with the court.

My temp guardianship expires August 10th, but August 10th is also my hearing for Permanent Guardianship, I’m confident that will go well as well, at least i hope! 

In the meantime, I also have to go back to the courthouse and serve notices, and also take my sisters to the dentist. Once again, on the 22nd (right before the temp hearing)  , my mother misused their survivors benefit funds (of which I have already reported  to Social), rent day is coming up and what little money i had from my income is going ENTIRELY to rent. I’m now extremely broke, but rent is very important to pay of course. 

Transportation is what’s kicking me down. The bus an metro are so expensive for all three of us. To take only two buses for all 3 of us, its about $8, to take the metro all 3 of us, its $21 a day. I am receiving future help from my sisters school to fix my sisters bikes, so that we can at least travel around locally.

If all goes well and i’m awarded permanent guardianship in August, I can then go to Social and apply to be the representative payee of the funds that my mom has been misusing , and then I can finally use it properly for my sisters. I went to Social on the 24th of June to see if i could apply then, but unfortunately I have to have Permanent Guardianship Letters.

Any donations for transportation would be greatly appreciated! Thank you from the bottom of my heart to anyone who has  donated already!

you can donate to my paypal at reraimu@yahoo.com

u can also go here

thank u so much again!

country girl oppression

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

i want you to stay for one day and one nigh with me and give me sp much love i dont have to cry of lonliness tonight, every night

no bUT THE LAST TIME I DID THIS SHIT I WISHED MEETING MY IDOL AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I FCKING GOT THE FCKING EMAIL SAYING I WAS GOING TO MEET TAYLOR OH MY GOD

REBLOGGING AGAIN BC THE FIRST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS I WISHED TO GET OUT OF MY MISERABLE TOWN AND I MOVED TO NORTH CAROLINA (a whOLE NEW STATE!!!! FAR FAR AWAY) AND THEN I SAW THIS AGAIN AND I WISHED TO TRAVEL MORE AND GUESS WHAT LIL BUDDY! I WENT TO ENGLAND AND FRANCE AND NOW IM GOING TO THAILAND AND TAIWAN THIS SUMMER. SO NOW IM REBLOGGING AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD THIS WORKS!!!

JJJJJUUUUUSSSSSYTTTT RRREEEEBBBBLLLLOOOOGGGG

Worth a shot.

yep why not?

i really love our generation’s joke trend of like, very calm but incredibly inflated hyperbole. like nobody says “oh she’s pretty” anymore we say “i would willingly let her murder me” and everyone is just like “lol same”

i think “same” is also great and “me,” i love when somebody reblogs a picture of like, a lizard, and just says “me” and we all know exactly what they mean. the current online Humor Discourse is remarkable because we trade exclusively in metaphors and implications and nobody ever, ever says anything outright and yet EVERYBODY understands each other perfectly

I love that they brought attention to this

shelley hennig pranks dylan o’brien

This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen in my life

Here’s some tips, of course nothing professional, but things I’ve learned myself.

Hope it helps some of you guys. ovo

Helps. Sooooo much.

Me in biology class

Chanel 3's reaction had me dead

Me

chasingsettingsuns (via wnq-writers)

i’m dying lmfaoooo