I’m a car now tuesday
weird how no one ever comments on the absence of smells unprompted. the nose just isn't a topic of conversation unless it's urgent huh
"it's dark in here" normal regular observation
"finally some quiet" relatable exclamation
"doesn't smell like anything in here" absolutely deranged sentence
"i'm not touching anything right now" small talk on the international space station
which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?
y- you were putting it in cold water?????
Radish. Answer the question radish.
yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason
You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???
catsnraincoats
[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]
why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it
Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove
catsnraincoats
Its takes less than a minute
Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun
catsnraincoats
How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove
Like seven minutes
catsnraincoats
Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…
Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted
Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic
Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief
(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)
RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell
Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act
Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?
MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!
FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.
RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?
Without the guide of others I assumed
That heat was merely added for the sake
Of expediting this solution’s brewing!
Half a decade I have spent, or more,
Not questioning this worldview I had made.
In fact, I am myself a bit surprised
That you might think that I, your dearest friend,
Might have a patience of sufficient stock
To wait until a pot of water boils.
FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?
The microwave will beep when it is done!
CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!
Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!
FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know
That I have not the patience, like our Root,
To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?
CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!
FROG: On what plate?
Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?
CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task
Of boiling but a single cup alone?
FROG: In minutes?
CATS'N: Yes!
FROG: I counted seven, once.
CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!
If on a middle heat you place the cup
You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.
Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate
Or even less, if you should have a pot.
FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?
You place upon the iron stove a mug?
A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?
How do these flames, though medium in height,
Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?
Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched
With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!
(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)
KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.
annabeth-starkid
I’m sorry but the THOUGHT that has been put into this, I actually CAN’T—
The fact that nearly every line is so metrically considered- near perfect iambic pentameter witb the occasional trochee for emphasis, but usually retaining a strong sense of rhythm nonetheless. And then the king comes in at the end, so wound in his disbelief that his response is reduced to prose.
And the even better thing about this is how easy it would have been to structure the king’s line into iambic pentameter: it is effectively already said as such because of the way wizardlyghost has phrased it, yet they haven’t!! They did not break the line, rendering what, by all typically of both Shakespearean canon and other periods context should be the character with the most command and authority in the whole play. If there was ever a more effective way to convey a genuine “what the fuck??”, I know of it not.
But it gets better!! Shakespeare regularly uses meter in order to represent class divide; the nobility usually speak in iambic pentameter, save for a few particularly chosen moments (e.g. Lady Macbeth’s descent into madness, Othello’s realisation of Desdemona’s “betrayal”) or just lines where Shakespeare needs to suggest high emotion or when a character is lost in thought. Supernatural characters like the fairies in A Midsummer Night’s Dream and the Witches in Macbeth usually speak in trochaic tetrameter, an inversion of iambic pentameter. Lower class characters, particularly those used for comic relief (usually under the influence of alcohol), speak with no structure at all: their language is plain prose. Therefore, if this is a conversation between these types of characters, as the prompt from silvergirachi suggests, why the hell are the characters speaking so eloquently???
Now, this is Tumblr. It is subsequently logical to assume that this may have merely been a humorous recreation (and a very good one at that) of the Shakespearean style in a way that is widely recognisable to an audience that may or may not have read a great deal of Shakespeare, which is understandable. However, logic is boring so I’m going to probe further into this to the point where future historians will look to this as an example of overanalysing.
The inherent eloquence of the characters here suggests an unusual subversion of the roles typically assumed in Shakespearean comedy. This could be interpreted along two major avenues: firstly, that the rhetoric displayed by the speakers is fundamentally representative of how truth can be expected even from the most seemingly pointless or ludicrous discussions. Furthermore, it could suggest that it matters not how well constructed your speeches are: if you talk bullshit, it’s going to sound that way despite your attempts to hide it.
This is similar but not identical to the second avenue of interpretation: there is the implication that the noblemen in the play are in fact the comic relief characters, therefore implying that the “common people” of the play are the ones whose influence, though not expressed in such a highly spoken manner, makes a lot more sense than whatever the hell this is. If this was a real Shakespeare play, I would call it a subtle exploration into the innate corruption of the rich and powerful. Well done, op.
Now, I doubt any of this is actually grounded analysis in any way, shape or form, but if someone else can take this to the extremes of writing a Shakespearean scene, why can I not analyse it as such? And where else to do so than Tumblr?
im in tears i didnt think anyone would put this much analysis into this‚ thank you so much
i also like that everyone else gets a version of their handle and then tumblr user pidoop is promoted to king
hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...
I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED
POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET
Hi guys i'm so glad no one's doing april fAAAAAAAHHH AHHHHHH AAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO DID THSI
Name: The Great Ape War
Debut: Donkey Kong Country
The lore of the Donkey Kong Country is truly something else. It might just seem like a Funny Primate Platformer, but if you look deeper, you learn so, so much more... For example, in the first three games, I hear there are many small clues of long-gone battles on Donkey Kong Island... the Great Ape War.
And guess what! You're enlisted!
Its Time To Meet Your Fellows Soldiers...
This Is MONKEY KONG
The Leader Of The Pack
He Slams His Hands Down On The Ground
For His Monkey Attack
This Is LITTLE DIDDLY
He Dodged The Draft For War
Instead He Robs You Of Your Cash
In Mario Kart Tour
This Is GHOSTLY GRANDMA
She Has Gone And Died
With Ghastly New Ability
She Infiltrates Inside
Her Husband, GRUMPY GRANDPA
He Isn't Very Nice
He May Seem Crude And Kind Of Rude
But Gives You Good Advice
The Fifth Is LADY KONG
An Ape That's Too Sexy
She Makes The Kremlings' Eyes Bulge Out
And Then They Cannot See
This Is ITTY-BITTY KONG
She Can Shrink Small Like Rat
She Also Got A Redesign
We Do Not Discuss That.
Here's The Seventh: FUNNY GUY
Has Funny Face Like Clown
Can Stretch His Arms For Miles Long
To Take His Enemies Down
Here Comes Eighth: HIGH FLYER
Her Tail Is On Her Head
She Attacks Kremlings From The Sky
And After That, They're Dead
Ninth Is BIG HUNK CHUNKY
He Has A Strong Veneer
But When Its Time To Fight
He'll Simply Disappear
Finally, MARIO KART WII
He Fought Hard In The War
No Longer Serves In Combat
He Surfs Down By The Shore
A Fog Upon The Field, The First Cold Sighs Of Dawn
Entrenched, The Platoon Gathers To Put Their Helmets On…
Four Years We Lay In Waiting
All Huddled In The Grime
Until “At Last,” THE LIEUTENANT Said,
“I Do Believe It’s Time.”
He Brought His Bugle To His Lips;
Cold Silence Cracked Like Ice
He Blew The Horn With All His Might:
Once, Then Twice, Then Thrice
He Roused Us Then, His Soldiers Eight,
And Checked Our Bayonets.
“Let’s Rendezvous With Fate,” He Said,
“OVER THE TOP, CADETS!”
THE LIEUTENANT Led His Soldiers Then,
He Led Them Right Over The Top
One By One I Saw Them Go,
One By One I Saw Them Stop.
The First To Die Was SARGENT TONGUE,
His Body Blown To Bits
For A Stone Launched ‘Ere By Trebuchet
Did Smash The Ape To Grits
Next Went LITTLE MICKEY,
Who Passed Without A Peep
The Sneak Fell Down A Punji Pit
One Thousand Meters Deep
Then MR. RASCAL Perished,
Although His Fate I Did Not See
One Moment, There Was A Little Guy
The Next, Artillery
After That, SPOON LICKER
Charging Forward With Great Force,
Was Cut In Half Most Cleanly
By Papers Of Divorce
KILLING SPHERE, The Next One
His Death I Mustn’t Speak
All I Can Say Of The Loathsome Fellow
Is That He Simply Sprung A Leak
FUNNY GUY, I Hate To Say,
Failed To Survive The Raid
The Chap Slipped On A Banana Peel
And Was Impaled On His Own Blade
The Bell Rung Then For KINGDOM COME,
Who Had His Gun Into A Bomb Recast
The Lout Forgot This, Then Took Aim
He Perished In The Blast
That’s When THE LIEUTENANT,
Seeing His Troops’ Demise,
Turned To Me Most Solemnly
And Looked Into My Eyes:
“Go,” He Said Discreetly,
“And Let Me Die In This Disgrace;
Survive, Boy, I Beseech Thee:
Go Fuck Your Wife Posthaste.”
What Else For ME?
I Turned Away And Ran Like Never Before
And That’s How I Survived The Battle
And Fucked My Wife After The War
Welcome To My Platoon
Its Time To Meet Your Fellows Soldiers…
This Is THE LIEUTENANT
No One Knows His Name
But When He Moves His Soldiers
It Is Like Checkers-Game
This Is SARGENT TONGUE
He Can Lift Up Stones
And If You Make Eye Contact
He Will Break Your Bones
This Is LITTLE MICKEY
The Sneaky Little Fellow
He Once Killed Guard With Credit Card
Without A Single Bellow
This Is MR. RASCAL
He Is The Size Of Flea
Where Are You Mr Rascal
You Are So Hard To See
The Fifth Is SPOON-LICKER
He Licks All Spoons With Glee
Holding Them With Both Hands
For They Are Slippery
KILLING-SPHERE, The Sixth One
His Cheeks Can Produce Milk
With It, He Drowns His Enemy
A Truly Loathsome Ilk
Here’s The Seventh: FUNNY GUY
He Knows How To Crack Wise
And Always Can Be Counted On
When You Need A Disguise
Here Comes Eighth: “KINGDOM-COME”
With Big Cigar In His Mouth
Our Demolitions Expert
For When Things Are Going South
The Ninth Is ME
Im New Guy Never Fought Before
I Just Cant Wait To Get Home
To Fuck My Wife After The War
Why do I feel like akane was the type of person who would make dirt soup as a kid
The Smash Bros. cast swapping anecdotes about their various evil doppelgangers and Mario getting into an argument about whether Wario counts.
Surprisingly, Mario is arguing that Wario does not count as he has literally never made that connection in his life. You can’t just say every fat italian in overalls is a Mario counterpart, he’s his own person with hopes and dreams. Evil hopes and dreams, but still.
Daisy, meanwhile, manages to argue very convincingly that Peach should be considered her evil doppelganger.
Wario is playing Devil’s advocate because being Mario’s evil doppleganger is great for business. If he was just some guy, nobody would buy Warioware.
@kamenriderhamo i am not going to let you hide this in the replies
Screaming crying because I hate every piracy guide I come across on here.
HERE IT IS
check out my piracy guide GOGOGOGO
STEAL MAIM KILL!!!
tell me if i got any more splainin todo. i am open to suggestions. reblog this so more people can pirate. DO IT!
THE REVIEWS ARE IN
thank you so much for the support over the last three days! i got over 10k hits on the website!!!
i wish i could upload faster/more often but i have been busy & tired. i did make a number of small updates today though! including links to VPN leak checks, where to find roms and emulators, more torrenting sites, and a small dictionary section that has VERY SIMPLE definitions of some words that i used.
No embarrassing the wives in front of each other or their adopted daughter
I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????
polar opposite of this post
inspiration struck and would not let me go until i drew this
edit: you can now get this comic as a print!