it sounds dirty but it isn't

good morning cruel world

Don’t you mean goodbye?

no i meant good morning. this world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

This really cheered me up

people who grew up like in the 1960s or some shit: one of my fondest childhood memories is going to the lake and skipping rocks :) me: one of my fondest childhood memories is making 8 random sims and slowly killing them off one by one until a sole victor remained

Actually me

shut the fuck up u stupid dumb eight grade fucking bitch,, u never played the actual sims u only played the shitty mobile free play shit. shut the fuck up “actually me” you never actually played the fucking sims and you never will

Just learned about this Bengal tigress who, after cracking her tooth, was fitted with a gold crown to repair it. (x)

hot girl shit

I can’t get over this lmaooo

one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it. 

i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”

What the fuck who drinks that

it’s such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him

this post always makes me laugh. this guy has the weirdest drink order and he probably never goes to this dunkin’ if it took seven months for the barista to see him again. so think about a coffee shop you go to so little you’re not even sure if you’ve gone there before and you walk in and the barista hands you the drink you were about to order before you even ordered it. he will remember that for the rest of his life

“it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him” gets me every time.

I HAD THIS MAN TOO

i looooove piracy. it’s like click click this is mine now lmaoooo

when sypha said ‘i serve no demon and do no evil’ i thought the alternative was something like serving god and doing good but with magic and i was like ok but turns out there is a third option which is ‘i serve literally no one and i do what i want and god can eat my entire ass’

The hero we deserve

traumacore edit I spill my juice mods help

traumacore edit door stuck

Rescued baby seal’s first swim lesson

(via)

Pet. Now

(via)

Croissant Dragons!

Dragons and Beasties

Shut up about uhhh um.... Hm. Not sure what to be upset about today

Doing the same thing over & over again & expecting a different result. (x)

dont be FUCKING rude

gaslight gatekeep girlboss