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hungry on main

@flyingxxbison

Hello! I'm Val, and I'm trying. She-her/they-them. ♒,🇲🇽, 🏳️‍🌈, 📚, 💜.
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zionworkzs

Are we ready to talk about what draws us so much to Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship and what it says about us?

The idea that someone can love you for 6000 years and never tire of you. The idea that someone can see you, really see you for so long and never get bored, never falter in their love. We like this idea because we fear that everyone we love will one day see through us. The other shoe will drop and they will leave because they see us for who we are.

And we truly think that there is nothing good about us. We think there is nothing worth staying for.

But these two. There is hope. If these two eternal beings, these beings that are supposed to hate each other, if they can see one another, find common ground, stay, stay in the face of everything, for 6000 years, there is hope for us after all.

Maybe one day, someone will see us. They will see through the facade, and they won't run. They will stay. And they will love us not in spite of who we are, but because of who we are. Because there is something worthy in there.

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I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.

when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍

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Good morning 🌱🍄🐁