Flying_In_Reverse

i imagine this scenario would be a lot more concerning in real life

pink

Wait for it

Que weno

is anyone going to tell the people in the notes who are calling the driver an idiot that they did not, in fact, wait for it?

(or that the driver that other people so clearly see is, in fact, not)

ok fuck that got me

the human body is so fake like i’ll be reading the news and it’s like “25 year old woman free falls 1,500 feet into 25 feet of snow, found alive and uninjured” and while I’m absolutely reeling over that I don’t even have time to process it fully before I look at the next article “25 year old man falls into shallow end of pool, dies instantly.”

like our bodies literally have the durability predictability of an iphone

one time I misjudged how steep a “hill” was and proceeded to slide down the slope of a cliff for a full half minute and hit the bottom unscathed.

then I tripped on the stairs on my way to see Neon Genesis Evangelion and shattered my entire kneecap.

We have god mode or one hit K/O no in between

I fell out of a tree (20 feet or so) and fell back first onto a huge fucking bolder. I was fine, got up and climbed the tree again.

I also slipped down two (2) stairs and caught myself, I bruised my leg so bad that a year later the bruise is still slightly visible, couldn’t walk well for a couple days and scratched up my arm and face.

I also once skated backwards maybe half a foot at no great speed, wearing full hockey gear and bumped into another player hardly moving and not only got a concussion, but also broke my arm.

I was also in a car that flipped over twice and me and everyone in the car were uninjured except for ons girl that had a small scratch on her arm.

Is there anything more beautiful than women supporting women?

What if that was your house What if a sheep lives off the grass on your house

Shes my landlord

grammar puns

how to be cool

A) cool sunglasses emoji B)

is that a god damn pun. in emoticon format

According to the actual rules of Jenga, this is not a legal move and is equivalent to causing a collapse.

My 51 year old therapist mother LOVES Pokemon go

i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information

“Yes! A garden metaphor! I love the garden metaphor! I just love ‘em!”

— (via purplebuddhaquotes)

you have got to bE KIDDING ME

(via cottoncandaddy)

What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? 

Broom-mates!

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roses are red, i’m going to bed

#violets are blue #damn bitch me too