so i’m currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he’s “not very confrontational” and i was like you are?? a lawyer???
and he said “yeah but in court there are rules. i can argue with some shmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem, but when i leave the courthouse and go home i’m not gonna argue with my wife about dinner. there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.”
there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.
look at this fucking baby
i can’t fucking believe this wtf wtf wtf wtf
Reblog for a 2019 full of comfort
oh my fucking god
This was so ridiculously drawn out and the conclusion was so obvious yet still I couldn’t tell where this was going
u guys,,,,,, actually want to fuck monsters? like literally actually for real??? u see a huge terrifying monster and think big sexy??? u wanna scary ass bloodthirsty beast to fuck u??? a mothman???? a wearwoof??? VENOM????????????? these arent just memes??? not just jokes??????? u guys arent joking?????????
If you remember who this is you’re eligible for a Veterans Discount
why are there 5,000 people on this site holding back from doing something with literally zero repercussions for anyone in a world that will never remember the chances you didn’t take? don’t waste your time on this earth live your life slap some rice
Hi my job is literally to reset the shelves and honestly?? Slap that rice. Slap it good. patting down the bags makes it easier to stack more, which means when I have to do it it’ll be flatter and more settled and more likely that I can just slide it along without it slidin’ around. You are doing me a FAVOR by slapping that rice.
Slap that rice. Slap it good. Slap that ricebag just like you should.
Pretty often, after months of him not quite understanding what new thing I’m asking of him, everything seems to click in place for Hugo. It took me forever to teach him to back up, it was baby steps all the way with lots of breaks because it frustrated him so much. He got much better when I brought out the wobble cushion to target and he seemed to find it easier that way, but still, he’d only back up if I walked with him and prompted him with every step. Then tonight, all of a sudden, I say back, go to move, and he shoots off backwards at hyper speed, looking for a target to hit with his hind legs. I played on it a bit, and though he got a bit frustrated at the start (please turn the sound on for Hugo grumbling at the start - he does that a lot when we’re training and he doesn’t get it), he was utterly fantastic. All I was doing was waving my hand and saying ‘back’ - when before that would cause him to go into meltdown, now he’s suddenly all ‘it’s ok I’ve got this’ and it’s totally brilliant. How many times can I say I love my dog? Don’t care - I love my dog.
(I promise after the video cuts out I totally lose my mind and celebrate with him for ages telling him how clever he is whilst plying him with treats. I realise I sound totally uninterested but I was so excited.)
Get your ass on the dance floor
this is already on my blog like five times and i honestly don’t even care
I know there’s a lot of tension after Tumblr’s new policy annouced for December 17th, but reblog this if you aren’t leaving Tumblr so that other blogs can know they aren’t going to be completely alone!
we’re going to have to call smut ‘lemons’ again, aren’t we?
LEMONS!? WHEN THE FUCK WAS THIS?!
oh you sweet summer child
goddamn how long have i been on here that kids these days don’t know wtf lemons is
