There is,,, a lobster. On the way

There is a lobster somewhere in the facility but we don’t know where

This is not a joke btw I was supposed to receive and acclimate a lobster today but I waited around in the lobby for an hour before finding out that the Lobster Deliverer went around back and gave the lobster to the aquarist and he went out on a diving trip without telling anyone where he put the lobster. There is literally a lobster here somewhere and we can’t find it. Lobster location unknown.

Update he put it in one of the lobster traps tied to the pier. Which is fine, that’s where it was gonna go anyway until we set up its display, but I would’ve preferred to acclimate it before plopping it into the ocean. But the hooligan has been contained. There will be no surprise lobster attacks today.

Update 2 here is Thee Lobster

TPoH: Update!

Update regularity may vary depending on health status, thanks for understanding!

Read TPoH from the start here.

Update here on the TPoH website!

Thank you all  for the kind and loving support! If you want to buy books of this comic YOU CAN! Volumes one and two AND THREE are now in stock and you can get even more books in the form of TPatJ and Unbecoming! Find them and more here in the TPoH Topatoco shop right here, or tell your friends about it! There are also always lots of my doodles to buy on nice stuff in my Society6 merch box too!

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shoutout to this person in the tags

yeah. about that.

I choose to incorporate this into my worldview.

Adam Sandler, magnificent bastard, was not a sentence I ever expected to say but here we are.

Man's got talent

babe wake up new adam sandler lore just dropped

Huh.

Everyone who works with him talks about what a mensch he is, so, like... that scans.

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.

Third comic for ace week! Here goes for late bloomers lol

Just thinking about how republicans are going after normie sex shit like "internet porn" and "dildos" now

we fucking told y'all

to be clear: the right views any sex that isn't purely procreative as deviant. it's not just kink, or queer sex they find abhorrent. And they genuinely believe that the better educated you are about sex in general, including about gender shit, the more deviant you are. they're legitimately trying to claw everyone down to hell with them.

Now? Before 2003 it was legit technically illegal in some states for even straight couples to have oral or anal sex, and there are still laws in some states restricting how many dildos you can own etc.

I don't really know what the goal is with putting a numerical limit on dildos, but with republicans the answer is usually "There isn't one. Die."

This is your periodic reminder that it is currently right now illegal in the united states to own porn that the average person in your community would be offended by. That's the legal definition of obscenity (a piece of media that 1. Exists to turn people on 2. has no other "redeeming" purpose and 3. would be offensive to most people in your jurisdiction) and you can theoretically be arrested and go to jail for owning "obscene" media or giving it to other people.

"But that's ridiculous," you say, "porn that the average taxpayer would think was ~offensive~ is absolutely fuckin' everywhere, on the internet and in real life, and nobody gets in trouble for it." And you'd be right about that. Realistically, this is a law that cannot be enforced: it is way too easy to break, way too hard to track, and way too many people are interested in breaking it.

Same with the pre-Lawrence v. Texas laws against "sodomy" that headspace-hotel is talking about. Yeah, it was illegal to give a blowjob in the privacy of your own home. But of course most people who like blowjobs never even thought twice about those laws, because it's usually pretty easy to Not tell a cop what you do in the privacy of your bedroom with your spouse.

"So if laws like this don't actually stop people from doing whatever sexual things they want to do, why are you concerned about it? You just said these laws don't hurt anybody, right?" Here's the thing. The purpose of laws like this is to create an atmosphere where you can get away with doing ""deviant"" things... if you hide it from polite society, if you keep it secret, if you know your place.

What you can't do is go out in public and say that actually gay people can have happy relationships, or that masturbating sometimes doesn't make you a depraved sex addict, or that it's okay to want to enjoy having sex and not just do it as your Duty To Your Husband.

You can get away with doing what you want in private if you never challenge the dominant cultural message that what you're doing is gross and immoral and people who do it are disgusting freaks. If you dare to speak up and point out that your ""shameful secret"" is actually normal, off you go to jail.

That's the purpose of laws like this. To make it impossible to challenge the rhetorical stranglehold of conservative christianity on society. To shift the Overton window once and for all to the right. And that's why we need to fight laws like this with all our strength, every time the right tries to push them forward, even when the specifics are stuff like "you can't own more than five dildoes" that might seem like a silly thing to go to war over. It's not about the specifics. It's about limiting everyone's speech to things a conservative preacher would say from the pulpit.

The other thing laws like this are good for is giving the police excuses

Younger Americans NEED to understand why Lawrence vs Texas went to the Supreme Court.

In 2003, police raided the private home of two gay men and charged them with sodomy. I cannot emphasize enough that THEY WERE NOT CURRENTLY HAVING SEX AT ALL when the police raided them. But the cops had “probable cause” to believe that they had, at some point, had non-procreative sex, which was illegal under Texas’s sodomy law, so they were charged with a crime.

Ultimately, the SCOTUS ruled that sodomy laws are unconstitutional because US citizens have a right to privacy: what consenting adults do in their own homes is their own business.

What you need to know is that in four states, including Texas and. Missouri, sodomy laws are still on the books. That means that if SCOTUS strikes down Lawrence vs Texas, these laws immediately go back into effect, and more states can add their own.

What would that look like?

If you’re on Tinder and your profile says you’re gay or bi, the police can subpoena your profile and use it to arrest you.

If you’re on Scruff or Grindr, the police can subpoena your location data and messages and use them to track down and arrest you and all your hookups.

If you’re in a same-sex marriage, the police can subpoena a list of same-sex marriage certificates and arrest every single couple—even if they’re widowed or divorced.

If your school has an LGBTQ club, the police can subpoena a list of members and arrest kids & college students.

They could subpoena data from FetLife and Facebook and Twitter and, yes, if they thought to do so, Tumblr. Rainbow flag in your profile? They’re drawing up charges.

And all of these people getting arrested and charged with sodomy, when convicted, will not only have their lives ruined by jail time, but will also likely be labeled sex offenders for the rest of their lives.

This is not ancient history. This was not “back in the day.” I WAS IN COLLEGE WHEN THIS HAPPENED.

And the Republicans are frothing at the fucking mouth to bring these horrors back.

And remember that the police chose who to target with laws like this.  Odds are they’ll be going after queer PoC and interracial queer couples, not the cis straight white couples.

These laws always had a disparate impact when it came to enforcement.

there's this push in media on the idea that it's okay to act aromantic and/or asexual as long as you replace those expected things with ambition. babe i'm just here to vibe. i was not put on this earth to have a fucking career. where are the rest of the chill aspecs who don't do shit

For this Halloween, you’re cordially invited to Illbleed… for Gameboy!

Recently opened, Illbleed is home to all manners of tricks and traps but if you help Eriko and friends get through to the end, there the prize awaits!                                                  $100,000,000

You just need to survive is all. 

If you liked this, please visit my Patreon. Any amount thrown my way helps and is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

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golden fish

This isn’t even remotely ATLA-related but it's very important nonetheless.

i have three responses to "how is your writing going"

1) it's not

2) it's going

3) i am ENTHUSED. i have been BLESSED with the POWER of the MUSES. i am an UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF CREATION i am the MOST ULTIMATE OF ALL WRITERS

"Do you really eat people?"

He stayed silent as she laughed. He could have fled, as his guts screamed him to, but he didn't. He didn't see her as the monster they say she is. She was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

Some more lore on the mermaid story with @koma-etoile . Enjoy the Naturalist and the Giant woman! You can find the mermaid POV here!

Comparing seeing leather daddies and puppies in hoods at Pride to Folsom Street Fair, which IS age restricted and DOES have sucking and fucking in public, is a long held homophobe tactic to protest pride happening at all. I've seen it used as a weapon for longer than I've known what Folsom actually *is*.

No one gets into Folsom without actively wanting to get into Folsom. And you will not die seeing a woman with a bunch of belts holding a whip or a man in a horse costume, I promise.

Someone: hey can you give me some relationship advice?

Me who's aroace: Communicate.

Someone: I tried but it didn't-

Me: break up.

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THERES A CYAN HEART EMOJI NOW 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵 ARE YOU SEEING THIS 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵LOOK🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

when i said “are you seeing this” i meant it genuinely and it turns out the answer is a resounding no

the beavers attacked

MEN WE NEED TO GET SLUTTIER

ON IT BOSS *changes from my regular t shirt into an identical t shirt that just has the word COCK on it*

Honestly we really need to stop being weird about older adults who are virgins.

& not even purely in a "I'm sex repulsed &/or ace &/or not into the idea of so I willingly didn't have it" but also in a "I'm 80, I would've loved to have sex, but it takes two to tango & no one wanted to have sex w/ me-" and in a "I'm 60 & I wanted to, but I had anxiety so bad I just didn't put myself in a situation where I could've" way, etc. [But yes also the people who are like "I'm a virgin because I never wanted to have sex"]

Someone made a post about having their 40th birthday & still being a virgin & someone commented about how it was heartbreaking... [The OP talked about all their other achievements they reached & how they were happy - just never had sex btw. They weren't lamenting about how they never had sex]

You don't need sex/sexual intimacy to be happy. You don't need romantic intimacy to be happy. [Obviously having those may add happiness, but like you won't live a sad depressing empty life if you're single forever &/or never have sex]

No offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you don't care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD

Walks up to a guy working on restoring a native tree species to his downtown "why aren't you posting about grasses in Turkmenistan!"

The internet has taken a whole generation of bright, motivated, passionate young people who care and have big hearts and turned them into paralyzed, shattered wrecks too crushed by the weight of the world's pain to hand a pair of socks to a person in need

I kinda wish that "oh they don't know they are dating yet lol" was used less as a joke because while it can be funny to think about people not recognizing their obvious feelings it also shows a major issue with amatonormativity and believing certain ways people interact with each other can only be read 1 way. It shoves relationships into a box and assumes the people in their own relationship don't know any better and so can't possibly label it correctly.

"they say they are friends but obviously they just don't know they're dating yet!" Assumes that 1. Friendship is less than romance. 2. That the way these people act with each other has to be romantic and any other interpretation is wrong including the people who are interacting own interpretations of their relationship. 3. Assumes you, a third party observing the relationship you are not part of, know more and better than the people in the relationship and thus have authority to put a label on said relationship.

Do you see the problem here? Do you understand how fucked up it is to constantly be told your relationship is something it's not. Do you understand how rude it is to undermine people's own ability to properly label their own relationships. It does not matter if YOU think they are dating. If they say they are friends then they are F R I E N D S.

The thing Abt relationships is that all parties in the relationship have to agree with what it is. If one says they are dating and the other says they are not, then they are not dating and they will never be until both agree on that face. Simple as that.