"That things 'just go on' is the catastrophe."
— Walter Benjamin, Central Park
. . .
"Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing "
— Dostoevsky
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the sensual world. louise glück
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– Lucie Brock-Broido, from “A Meadow”
Had a virtual interview where the interviewer did not turn their camera on but insisted I have mine on??? Wtf anyway I'm withdrawing my candidacy
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People aren't homes, they never will be. People are rivers, always changing, forever flowing. They will disappear with everything you put inside them.
~ Nikita Gill
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A fallstreak hole is a large gap, usually circular or elliptical, that can appear in cirrocumulus or altocumulus clouds. The holes are caused by supercooled water in the clouds suddenly evaporating or freezing, and may be triggered by passing aircraft.
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to tell a story in the form of flowers, what would i say?
Like a small child seeking comfort in repetition. Not a ghost, I am not a ghost, I am not a ghost. I'm alive.
Lately, I've been thinking about how I've been too scared to even touch my camera since my breakup nearly two years ago. The fucking specter of my shattered relationship haunts me. I've been afraid to be myself. Paralyzed for 2 years. He told me that he didn't ever actually love me and suddenly every compliment he ever gave me felt fake. I went through this back catalogue of compliments, things I collected to remind myself that people could actually see me. Over 8 years worth of memories wiped away with a single sentence. I don't know my authentic self, only that the closest I ever felt to self actualization was when I lived with him. I don't know where to go or what to do. I feel like a slowing wobbling top, winding around in disorienting lines. I can barely tell when I trace over the same path. Only that it feels somewhat familiar? I've wasted too much time. I'm wasting too much time.
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— Louise Glück, from “The Untrustworthy Speaker.”
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what's the opposite of feeling sand slip through your fingers because I feel this poem more and more as time passes
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the pithiest bit of wisdom I gleaned from reading CS Lewis' Christian apologia as an atheist teenager is the notion that the good God loves love and hates hatred. I think it's a nice tweak to the old do unto others as you would have them do unto you moral maxim because in a pinch you can condense it to the four word string love love hate hatred, which is easier to recall in a moment of temptation owing to its brevity
in moments of confused distress, in which I find myself wondering what on earth am I going to do about anything, and am at a loss for ideas, I have that simple in my pocket; you are going to love love and hate hatred, little Fool
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tree branch cross section with a star-shaped ring growth pattern we found during our internship this year. a very special phenomenon : )
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“MIRROR” from WATER YAM GEORGE BRECHT // 1963 [offset card, 1:69 | 5 x 6.5 cm.]
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google search how to stop experiencing anticipatory grief when this world has taken so much from me already
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open window save me. save me open window