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@floating-potatoes

Just had a dream that a novel exists which is written from the POV of an old man dying in the 1920s in the form of diary entries and bit by bit it's revealed it's actually a closeted trans woman who was out during her youth and forced to recloset and now I desperately want to read it

The narrator was like, referring to a girl called Sarah in all the writings, and at the start it's super unclear who Sarah actually is and it's speculated by the people around that she may be a lover from the narrator's youth, until it's noted that Sarah had heterochromia and that's the defining trait of the narrator

Oh also Sarah did actually have a lover. They were T4T and lived in a little cottage by a lake until he was drowned in it and Sarah couldn't make ends meet anymore and had to recloset

Okay a bunch of people have told me to write the thing now so I've decided if this post gets 30K I'm turning the thing into an epistolary novel.

first it was girls' locker rooms vs boys' locker rooms then it was the feminine urge to vs the masculine urge to now it's girl dinner vs boy dinner when will it end when will we escape i feel like maybe some of you guys dont even want to escape doesnt anyone else want to escape

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anyway we dont talk enough about jon baa-ing like a sheep in mag125. cause he was literally just sitting in his office recording a statement and he baa’d exactly like a sheep. and he sounded REAL AS HELL. archivist voice powers must make you insane at making farm animal sounds for like teaching babies like you just know he would tear it up at daycare. this is all right in the middle of everyone thinking he’s turned into an evil monster too but my god did the man commit.

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okay one thing that has WILD implications in this episode is that we the audience hear bagpipes during the statement. this isnt season 5 where we’re just hearing domain sounds, jon is literally still just in his office. sometimes in tma we hear sounds as part of the soundscape that arent actually there in story but it is usually extremely subtle as to be almost unnoticeable if you’re not listening with good headphones, but the bagpipes come through so clear. i can think of two in-story explanations:

  1. jon knew what the statement was gonna be about and queued up some bagpipe music to play from his phone/laptop while he was reading, knowing it would be picked up by his tape recorder
  2. jon’s archivist powers are now so strong that sometimes we (and anyone in-story listening to his recordings i guess) simply hear shit from the events he’s reading aloud even if we shouldnt be able to
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may i present a third option: melanie was blasting bagpipe music as a form of rebellion whenever she was in the archives and that’s just what we’re hearing

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yknow actually considering she was still being poisoned by the slaughter bullet i could absolutely get into that

"You can't be a lurker on tumblr." Yes, you absolutely can. I've been quietly reblogging things since 2014 and I haven't interacted with anyone in years.

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hey did you guys know that ummmm…. jon sims? :)

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they shouldnt even try to make pathetic little guys anymore. you will never be more drenched pathetic bedraggled murder kitten than jon sims. wet tissue of a man. the personification of a cold forgotten cup of tea if it could kill people with its eyes.

ana mendieta “people looking at blood, moffit, iowa” 1973

“In this piece, Mendieta spilled a large amount of what appeared to be chunky blood over a doorway and sidewalk on an Iowa City street. Then she removed herself from the scene and, from a distance, photographed the reactions of various passersby. […] It intimates to passersby that a grievous and dramatic injury has taken place, but it gives no explanation and, more important, no recourse to action. It may incite horror, concern, compassion, and revulsion—in short, pity and fear—but it doesn’t offer anywhere for these feelings to go. […] Each pedestrian’s only real choice is to walk on by, which looks from the outside—and likely felt, on the inside—like an uncaring abandonment, even if of an indeterminate or imaginary entity. […] And somewhere out of sight lurks Mendieta, a voyeur of each passerby’s involuntary voyeurism. […] People Looking at Blood says, Look at this pile of carnage, with no clear story, source, assailant, or victim. Just look at it. Now look at others looking at it. (And I will be looking at you looking.)

The Art of Cruelty, Maggie Nelson

Ana Mendieta was murdered by her husband and fellow artist Carl Andre. This work became a self fulfilling prophecy and meditation on tragedy, the nature of violence, and peoples unwillingness to help.

And no I will not shut up about this.

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By the way, her husband never went to prison for what he did.

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But it’s NOT about unwillingness to help! It’s NOT about people not caring!! It’s so very explicitly the opposite!!!

I’ve BEEN in this situation. You walk past an old crime scene, or the place where an accident happened, and you see evidence of something terrible. If it’s old, maybe broken glass, or scuff marks.

But sometimes, you’re too late. Sometimes someone is on the ground, and EMTs are already helping, and the only helpful thing you can do you is move on, refuse to linger, refuse to form a crowd.

Sometimes there’s dried blood, or fresh blood, but when you look around you can’t find anyone hurt or needing help. Whatever happened, it has happened without you, and you can’t undo it or make it better. You could contact an authority, report what you’ve seen, but that’s just sharing information. It doesn’t FEEL like helping.

Humans are by nature incredibly compassionate creatures. What is more heartbreaking to an animal designed to bring comfort than a pain that cannot be comforted? A hurt that cannot be soothed?

You are confronted by this helplessness, and it looks you in the face and says, “It’s too late for you to fix this. You must move on, and hope that next time, you aren’t.” And then you do. You have to. There is no other choice.

Ana Mendieta’s piece is not condemning the observed- it’s mourning their directionless compassion, their grief, their uncertainty- their concern and hope offered to someone or something they will never know, never speak to, never be able to help.

It says that we love each other, that we care for one another, and that even if we are lost and no one ever finds us, we are cared for long after we are gone, and by people who never knew our names.

Our outrage at her death only proves this. Now that we know her life ended tragically, what will you do? What CAN you do? Nothing. You will observe the blood, experience something that cannot be captured on film, and move on.

“What CAN you do? Nothing. You will observe the blood, experience something that cannot be captured on film, and move on. “