Editing? Oh you mean fic patching.

@thebibliosphere

All of this is valid.

In a world where genies are commonplace and delight in granting wishes in the most inconvenient way possible, you are a defense attorney who must defend your client, a well-meaning genie who is charged with felonious wish-granting.

It wasn’t the first time I’d had to defend Jimmy, and it wouldn’t be the last. He’s got to be one of the most-litigated genies who’s ever lived, which is a little unfair, since he’s also actually one of the most genuinely benign. He just gets things wrong a lot. 

Like, a *lot*. 

So wrong.

So often. 

See, all genies will, to some extent, screw with wishes. It’s their nature. With some of them, if you wish for ‘a horse’, they give you a heavily insured and very identifiable race-horse and watch the catastrophe unfold. Others will just  mess with the wish a little bit, say, by giving you a foal instead of a currently rideable horse or something. But everyone knows they need to be careful with their wording, these days, so it’s not usually too bad. (Unless you violate the three rules. Wish to raise the dead, to kill someone, or to make someone fall in love with you, and they will get *very* unpleasant.) 

But Jimmy… he meant well. He really did. 

Keep reading

I’ve only known Smoliv for a few hours yet I would kill for this creature

It's my favorite, your honor.

Elf video games: 300 hour jrpgs with legions of characters and several novels worth of text. Labrynthine upgrade trees and customization options. The most insufferably unintuitive UI possible. A single turn based battle can take hours. Every character has an ennui stat.

Dwarf video games: Basebuilding strategy FPSs that has a whole wiki page on the flexile vs tensile strengths of different building materials. Dwarven rhythm games have minigames where you have to manage supply lines. Mortals cannot comprehend dwarven grand strategy games.

Halfling video games: What appears on the surface to be a viscerally calming farming sim is actually an extraordinarily complex social combat game about cutthroat HOA politics.

Goblin video games: Wildly unbalanced collectathon gatchas where half the fun is finding new hilariously broken strategies. Zany uberviolent team shooters about bugs. MOBAs so bad it's almost art.

Orc video games: Addictive in-browser flash games with names like "Beast Crush 4" and "Borag Meat Game." The art is always kinda bad but in a charming way. The music always slaps.

Goblin code looks incomprehensible but if you take the time to look through it, you realize it's actually optimized in ways you never thought were even possible. Goblins are responsible for like 75% of every games modding community. Goblins all run Linux.

There is no orc game larger than a gigabyte. There are legends of an orc coder who successfully ran DOOM on a raw lamb shank.

Halfling code is full of charming little comments like "//whew! This routine was a real nut to optimize" that you eventually come to learn are expressions of deep, murderous rage.

Elf code rhymes.

Sorcerer spells vs wizard spells

Being a Warlock is just ordering premade food

I don't watch Star Trek but I've talked it over with some Star Treks and I think the next Star Trek crew member should be a potted plant. Just a weird looking little succulent or w/e in a pot, with wheels and a hawkings-style voice synth. Their badge or whatever can be a lil tree ornament. Low budget, no actor required character that will be instantly iconic. Whoever owns Star Trek write me a goddamn check.

They are an important member of this crew with many responsibilities!!!!!!!!

Remember I know nothing about Star Trek

I love this for two reasons: 1) it would be awesome to have a sentient plant with an accessibility device on a starship, 2) from a meta standpoint, the brilliance of having a literal (non-sentient) plant as an actor/character who audiences WOULD attach to and create stories for and care about...it's just, the height of human storytelling, and I mean that in a non-ironic way.

I love watching documentaries about amusement park accidents because all of the park officials are saying, "Oh, dear god, none of us could have anticipated that the roller coaster car would detach, this is a freak accident, an act of god!" and then the narrator is like "The Dicktwister 9000 was a known safety hazard and rabies vector since its inception. It was designed by disgraced Cirque du Soleil clown John Roosters, who had never seen a math textbook."

I recommend Fascinating Horror. :)

Sokka and Zuko both have high intelligence and low wisdom and the only difference is that Sokka has high Charisma. In this essay I will-

“sokka has high charisma” that’s a BOLD claim about this guy:

you say that like it didn’t work

that line would only have worked for someone with supernaturally high charisma.

I love these floofy Grians so much I added line art and colored them like coloring book pages (it was really fun, for the record). All credit to the original artist @mjlor-chann. Mjlor-chan, these are a gift for you. I hope you like them (and don't mind me playing with your artwork).

I’m sure there are many types I missed on this list, but I was overcome with a sudden and terrible need to compare DMs to the OTHER kinds of world-builders. 

Now it’s your turn! GMs - what would YOUR tank/terrarium look like?

Has anyone done this yet?

I'd like to believe that there's a flatbed cart race going on here

Eshteross should’ve made them write the letter

Dear Lady Vex’ahlia and Lord Percy of Whitestone, 

We regret to inform you that this old man your friend? Sir Bertrand Bell said he knew you and was once a member of Vox Machina. He’s dead now. We regret to inform you he has passed away. Uh here he is. And his personal effects.

Sincerely,

Oɾყɱ σϝ ƚԋҽ Aιɾ Aʂԋαɾι, ꧁༺ʄɛǟʀռɛ ƈǟʟʟօաǟʏ༻꧂, ꜰʀᴇꜱʜ ᴄᴜᴛ ɢʀᴀꜱꜱ, ᴬˢʰᵗᵒⁿ, 𝔇𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔞𝔫 𝔖𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔪, 𝓘𝓶𝓸𝓰𝓮𝓷, and L̸͎̣̻͍̯̅̋͘a̶̡̜̳̬̘̫͒͊͊̽ų̵̻̮̈́̅̋͋̔̃̕͠d̵̙͙͚͙̮̖͈̺̎̆̓͋͂̀͋͜ͅn̵̩̿͂̀̏͂͛̃͘̚ä̵̧̛͕͔́͐̉̇͘̕͝

The insanity of the signature section is what got me. I mean, just as a small part of it: imagine that you didn't know Fresh Cut Grass is a (kind of) person. Like, why did some grass send me this letter? And, to add to the complication, like, Henry Crabgrass is technically cannon...

this twitter meme is them

I really loved Encanto (much, much better than Moana and not even in the same realm as Frozen; fight me). It dared to do something that you don't often see in children's films - tell a story without a villain. Rather, it's a story about how trauma affects literal generations, causing long-term disfunction. It's about the pressure of high expectations AND the harm caused by excluding "damaged" members. It's about unhealthy sibling relationships. It does something (via the magical collapse of their physical home) that many miserable families sorely need - a break in the status quo significant enough to cause them to reevaluate what's truly wrong and be willing to build a new foundation. And that's amazing.

Would recommend. It's not perfect, but stories rarely are. This one's certainly got a lot to chew on, though.

Favorite characters: Luisa and Camilo. :)

It's hard for me to express how thankful I am they went in this direction for the new Hawkeye series. I've been hoping and praying for years the MCU would acknowledge Clint being HoH. And the moment he stepped to the right and was like, "I literally cannot hear you unless you stand on that side" was my entire life with my HoH sister, who's been dancing this dance with me for years. We actively got her buttons to wear to help coworkers/patients who forget which side to speak on, so the reality of this scene just...(chef's kiss).

UM EXCUSE ME THOS E ARE FUCKING PIXELS HOW

Seize the Day was a calendar program made by in 1994 by Buena Vista software. It features graphics that at the time, were revolutionary because of the way they handled color cycling. These images were static bitmaps, but by changing color values, they appear animated. What is also impressive about these images is that they had full day night cycles built in, rendered also through color cycling. A few years ago, a html5 version was made. A copy was uncovered online and there is a way to use the program through DOSbox. As well, one of the original programmers for the project, Iam Gilman, has thought of the idea of remaking it, open sourced, for modern machines.

thanks for writing a more elaborate explanation. i’ve seen these pictures be spread like wildfire without mention of the technology behind it.

NaNoWriMo Inspiration. Thank you for feeding me as I write my gnome-fae fantasy adventure, OP.

Fanart for "The Eight of Swords" by SwissArmyKnife

This fic fucked me up and I can't stop thinking about it... 🙃

Look at how beautiful it is! *_* Make sure you go tell @sparkchemy how gorgeous their art is. Eight of Swords was my first Critical Role story, and it delights me to know that people still enjoy it.