Having a day to yourself.

It's my day off and I had to cancel plans with meeting someone new. My agitation and anxiety got the best of me, like they always do, and I had to take a day to just do what I want to do, alone. More my comfort zone anyways. Went and shopped around and got some things to decorate my apartment. Finally getting to buy the couch I want on Friday, then I won't have an empty living room. After that it's saving up for a tv. Adulting man, lol. Got rear ended today, enter rage mode! Thankfully it didn't do any damage to my car, but I was livid! Didn't have her pull over or anything, never been hit before and didn't know what to do, plus I figured it didn't hurt my car anyways. She is pretty durable. Can't wait to go home and organize/decorate. Then eat some food, relax and hang out with the kitty. Netflix and Hulu it is for my day off. Then might have a late night visitor over, gotta get that D! It's been awhile 😉😉😉😜😜

Rage mode 😡

These past few days, I have been in such a bad mood. Last night I wake up to texts from 2 different people wanting to hook up. Usually I would gladly go and get that D, but not lately. I hate when people only want to hook up when THEY want to. When I try to get them to hang out when I want to it's always no response. Then I get the excuse of "my phone has no minutes" or "oh I never got your text". I know damn well you got my text. So now I'm done jumping at it when they want me to come running. You can sit and wait around for me to decide when I want to come over. See how it feels. And if you stop wanting to hang out with me, then that's cool. I don't need you in my life. I am more than just a sex object. I have feelings too. And as much as I want to hide them, they are in there and they are bursting at the seems to get today. I might actually break down and cry, I hate that it might happen, but I'm just so fed up with being an object to people and not an actual person in their eyes. Ugh rant over!

Yay for blogging!

So I've been wanting to write a blog for awhile now, just get the things that are on my mind, put into the open. Whether or not anyone is going to read this, I don't care honestly. I just need an outlet to get what's on my mind out and onto something more solid. I'd write it down on paper, but God forbid someone reads it and doesn't understand where I'm coming from and gets me sent back to the nut hut again. Honestly that wouldn't be a horrible thing to happen, but I rather enjoy the world and the fact I'm getting my shit together again. So a little about me, I'm a 26 year old female, I work in a bakery, I absolutely love it! I live on my own now, which is still weird to me, I have a new kitty to keep me company though, so that's nice. I am a recovering alcoholic, almost 2 years sober. I suffer from depression and anxiety, who doesn't now a days? I am a very sexually active person, why do you need to know all this about me? Well most of this blog is going to be based around all these facts. I just want to rant and rave about the little things that go on in my head while I'm working or when I'm at home and have no one to tell it all to. The kitty really doesn't seem to care what I say, he just stares and runs away like the cracked out little bastard he is. 😄 I plan on writing something here everyday, my little online diary to keep me sane. Keep track of my life and re read it throughout the year and look back on the things that happened. If there was one thing that got me through treatment it was writing. I told myself I would keep up with it after I got out, but you know life and all that happened and it's only taken me a year and a half to keep my word on it. I still can't believe I'll be 2 years sober this month. To look back on everything I had fucked up in my life to where I am now, I am so proud of myself. I have a long way to go, at least for my personal goals, but those will happen in time. I am a fighter and I'm stubborn as hell so when I set a goal I achieve it. Well I guess that's it for today, such a shitty little beginning to this thing, if I've lost you already, I'm sorry. I promise it'll get better. Especially once I start writing about the sexual adventures/advances I get myself into. 😉😊 But that's a blog for another day and if you made it this far, congratulations, here's some cake. 🍰🍰🍰 peace out ✌🏻😺