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Flavoracle

@flavoracle

I'm Dave. Husband. Father. Writer. Inventor of Vorthos Volleyball. Founder of the Flavorum.

Our twin hearts pound in our chest as our wings strain to carry us beneath the clear, moonless night. Death comes for us as surely as the stars continue their silent paths across the sky. 

Creed has killed our nephew, Khan the Hoarder. He killed our uncle, Nash the Hunter. They did not heed our warnings, and they paid with their lives. 

And now our cousin comes to kill us. 

There is a spasm in one of our left wings, and the uneven load causes our other three wings to fail as well. We have pushed them beyond their limit trying to escape the inescapable, and we land hard on the desert sand below. 

We are not alone for long. Creed’s wings flap as he lands, creating a localized sandstorm in the process. The pride emanating from him is palpable. 

“Ah, the Destiny Sisters at last,” says Creed. “Good evening Vy. Good evening, Bea. I’ve been looking for you. It seems you’ve somehow wandered a long, long way outside the borders you and those other traitors agreed to.” 

“Bold of you to call us traitors when you’re the one killing the last of your own kind,” we reply in unison. 

“You have only yourselves to blame,” Creed spits back, malice dripping from his voice. “The moment you and the others betrayed what you are and entered into this farce you call peace, you sealed your own fate.” 

Creed’s face twists into a hungry grin. “But then, you know all about fate, don’t you cousins?” 

“More than you ever will,” we reply. 

Anybody want to share your thoughts/feedback on the new prologue?

Magic: The Gathering has evolved over the past few years, and maybe your favorite things about it have changed too!

This short survey is meant to explore the many ways you interact with the game. While you may have answered similar questions before, we’re always interested in better in improving our own understanding and appreciate your input!

@wizardsmagic I would like to give you some free input from a fan and player of Magic.

Once upon a time, the official Magic Tumblr blog would interact directly with the Magic community on here. Posts in the community would get reblogged by your blog. Questions would sometimes be answered. Discussion prompts would be shared and some of the replies to those prompts would get responses too.

I’m sure that was a lot of work for the person or people running this blog, but I’d like to think that investment of time and effort was worth it. The Magic community here on Tumblr tended to be (overall) active, positive, passionate, and creative.

In contrast, the last 37 posts on this blog have been links to surveys. And the only post with over a hundred notes was the first survey. And is it any surprise the number of notes keeps getting lower with each survey post?

I mean, what is my motivation for taking the survey? What is my motivation for sharing it with others in the community? But, I AM sharing it with the community by reblogging this post, so you may want to see if this thread ends up being an exception to that trend.

Look, this isn’t a rant. I’m not angry. I understand that marketing and community engagement teams have limited resources and have to prioritize where to invest those resources. So please don’t think of this as some bitter fan complaining that things were better in “the old days.”

Bottom line: If you’re at all disappointed at how little engagement you’re getting from your Tumblr posts, there are ways to change that. Don’t blame Tumblr for being a bad platform, or blame the community on here for not being receptive. Please just consider that the more you are willing to interact with us and have fun WITH us, the greater the chance that you will see the kind of passionate, creative fan engagement that this blog once enjoyed.

When the Magic: the Gathering storyline gets so out of hand it forces your blog out of retirement

Damn Phyrexians, makin’ a mess of everything!

i dunno friendo, they keep voting for phyrexians in my factions bracket, and nissa's all full of oil? it's whack

Yeah, I gotta admit I’m pretty dang lost. The last time I was following Magic’s storyline was before my divorce. Kaya was running around Kaldheim, I still lived in Oregon, and… hell I wasn’t even a stepdad yet.

I’m WAY behind, and if anyone want to help bring me up to speed, I would be INCREDIBLY grateful!

Nobody is obligated of course, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. (Bonus points for making it sound ridiculous.)

Avatar

The long and short of it.

KALDHEIM: They stole the magic juice of the gods and a cutting of the world tree. Tyver is a himbo and Nyko is a cool enby.

KAMIGAWA: Kaito rules, The Wanderer is the current Emperor and legally has no name. Jin tried some pants, studied the kami, learned how to modify the oil so theye can compleat Walkers without losing their souls. Takes Moonmom home to become the first of many.

NEW CAPENNA: Elspeth helps a gay girl awaken her angel powers, drinks some angel juice, and generally has an okay time. Urabrask sits around like an aging mob boss gathering allies.

DOMINARIA: Karn suffering hours. Everyone plays Among Us. Ajani sus and kills Grandma Jaya. Everyone is sad, but plans are made.

BROTHER WAR: Teferi goes back in time to read The Brother's War. It's really really good. He accidentally falls into Zhalfir.

PHYREXIA: Vraska, Jace, Tyvar, Kaya, Kaito, Wanderer, Lukka(???), Nahiri, Nissa, Elspeth (and Koth once they arrive) go to New Phyrexia to stop Norn's plan; make a world tree that invades every plane and links them in a realm like system like Kaldheim, called REALMBREAKER. Jace, Vraska, Lukka, Nahiri and Nissa all pay the final price and become machine-demons. Wanderer falls down in Zhalfir, Elspeth blows herself up witht he Sylex that Saheeli made, and we're probably doomed.

MOM: Phyrexia invades the multiverse! People defend their homes. Elspeth meets with a shard of Serra in the blind eternities and becomes an Archangel. Wrenn intends to use REALBREAKER to grab Zhalfir so the people within who've spent centuries preparing for the Father of Machines get to kill the Mother of Machines instead. All Chandra has to do is kill the woman she loves. Welp!

If you want any specific details just ask!

Wow, that is… a lot.

Thanks for the help catching up though!!

I’ve started performing standup comedy as a hobby, and I thought it would be fun to share with all of you the recording of my first Open Mic Night. I hope you enjoy it!

I do recommend turning on the subtitles when you watch it since not all of the audio is super clear. I’ve edited the subtitles by hand to make sure they’re accurate.

If you have the time to share feedback, I’d love to know what you think!

For anyone interested in a life update by way of standup routine, here you go 😉

When the Magic: the Gathering storyline gets so out of hand it forces your blog out of retirement

Damn Phyrexians, makin’ a mess of everything!

i dunno friendo, they keep voting for phyrexians in my factions bracket, and nissa's all full of oil? it's whack

Yeah, I gotta admit I’m pretty dang lost. The last time I was following Magic’s storyline was before my divorce. Kaya was running around Kaldheim, I still lived in Oregon, and… hell I wasn’t even a stepdad yet.

I’m WAY behind, and if anyone want to help bring me up to speed, I would be INCREDIBLY grateful!

Nobody is obligated of course, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. (Bonus points for making it sound ridiculous.)

When the Magic: the Gathering storyline gets so out of hand it forces your blog out of retirement

Damn Phyrexians, makin’ a mess of everything!

My first successful 3D print! I’m so relieved I finally seem to have the settings right, and I’m so happy with the result!

If anyone wants to share links to suggestions for future prints, please feel free to let me know in the reblog notes! (For some reason I always have the hardest time getting links to work for me in the comments.)

While taking my daughter around the mall to do some job hunting, I was surprised to approached by a teen and challenged to a dance battle!

I think the teens were not only surprised when I accepted, but when I started off with a dance move from my teen years that my friends had affectionately nicknamed “The Dave.”

😎🤓

A new friend of mine was asking me what Tumblr is, so here was my response…

Tumblr is a place where you can journal your private thoughts. Except they're visible to the public. Except the public only sees them if they're already looking at you.

And sometimes someone will see one of your thoughts and add it to their collection of private thoughts (but they still give you credit, so it's cool.) And sometimes they'll even add their thoughts to your thoughts.

And sometimes someone whose private thoughts are a lot more popular than yours will add your private thoughts to their collection and then suddenly every multicellular organism on the planet decides to add your private thoughts to their collection and you are forced to either delete your original thoughts or just wait about a week for the tsunami of notifications to die down and then enter the witness protection program.

And I gotta say, as far as descriptions go, I feel like I nailed it

Some of you may know from past posts that I am a fan of the old Disney Junior show “Johnny and the Sprites.” So you may not be too surprised to learn that I did a thing and then tweeted at John Tartaglia that he’s welcome to copy and paste for us own use if he wanted.

Not gonna lie, that was every bit as well-written as my persuasive essay that I wrote about Johnny and the Sprites back in college.

My mother-in-law is bummed that her favorite player is being traded from the Dodgers to the Cubs. I want to be supportive, but I don’t know anything about baseball, so I thought I’d see what ChatGPT could come up with for me…

It’s a little bit scary how much better it was at writing that than I would have been. The future is ridiculous.

In response to @flavoracle’s prompt on Iroas and Pharika’s child. It clearly has to call back to the parents. I would give it the Theros god rules, but it wouldn’t fit. Not much on the flavor side yet seeing as it’s 12:45 and I’m sleepy

This is an awesome custom card, and a fun surprise since I had forgotten about that prompt!

My one note is that I wish the activated ability had more representing the white mana. Like maybe give it Lifelink or Vigilance in addition to Menace?

Oh! Or what if it didn’t have an activated ability, and instead the triggered ability created a token that’s black, green, red, and white, and it has Deathtouch, Menace, Vigilance, and Lifelink?

The fun there is that Deathtouch is a green/black ability, Menace is black/red, Vigilance is white/green, and Lifelink is black/white. (Of course it would be fun to include Trample in there since that’s green/red, so red gets to have another ability. But I know the interaction between Trample and Deathtouch on a creature is funky.)

Anyway, I think it’s an interesting design and I appreciate you tagging me in the post!

I’ve started performing standup comedy as a hobby, and I thought it would be fun to share with all of you the recording of my first Open Mic Night. I hope you enjoy it!

I do recommend turning on the subtitles when you watch it since not all of the audio is super clear. I’ve edited the subtitles by hand to make sure they’re accurate.

If you have the time to share feedback, I’d love to know what you think!

Dishwasher Song

Imagine singing this to the tune of “Witch Doctor” by Alvin and the Chipmunks…

“Please load the dishwasher,” I told my kids today

“Please load the dishwasher, the sink’s been full all day.”

They flee the dishwasher, and this is what they say

And they go

“Hmm, uh, hm, uh uh

Gee I gotta gotta knee ache”

“Hmm, uh, hm, uh uh

Gee I gotta gotta knee ache!”

Concept: The Great Hall

We’re all vikings and there’s a winter storm raging outside. The severity of the storm has prompted everyone in the village to leave our homes and gather in the Great Hall.

Though the storm rages outside, its sounds are muffled by the strong, sturdy walls of the Hall. Inside we are all safe and warm. Many sit together by the central hearth, while others are spread out among the nooks, crannies, and rafters of the large space.

Some sleep beneath thick blankets, while others simply sit to listen, think, eat, or observe. There is room enough for all to have the space they need in the Great Hall.

Those who sit by the fire share jokes and stories, sometimes loudly, sometimes in dramatic whisper. Plans are made for the far-off Spring that will surely come. Everyone, from the children to the elders, are given their turn to be heard, and all are given full attention when they speak.

No one knows how long the storm outside will last. It could be hours, days, or weeks. But nobody is concerned about it. Inside the Great Hall, there is plenty of wood for the fire, plenty of food and drink to go around, and everyone in the village is safe and accounted for.

We’re all here, safely gathered in, and enjoying our time together as we weather the storm.

This made me feel calm reading it.

I’m glad. This is one of the scenes I sometimes imagine at night when I’m trying to quiet my brain and go to sleep.

During therapy today, my therapist asked me if I ever meditate, and it prompted me to think of this post. I wept as I read it out loud to her, realizing how much of my life lately has been weathering one storm after another

But even more, I felt a huge swell of emotion and gratitude for this internal refuge. And to recognize that I’m still the same person I’ve been all along, and that what matters to me most hasn’t changed.

Safety. Nourishment. Rest. A chance to be heard and acknowledged.

These are the foundation of the haven I want to build for myself and those I love. And that’s what I’ve been working to build for years, one stone at a time.

Even if the winds blow and the elements rage, they can’t just tear down something that’s been fortified by years of deliberate, consistent effort. And on days where I wonder if my efforts make any difference at all, it is very comforting that the Great Hall still stands.