*KNOCK KNOCK*
"Excuse me sir, but your neighbors are reporting the unmistakably complex aroma of pastrami, sauerkraut, Swiss cheese, and thousand island dressing. Is there anything we should know about happening in here?"
I don't think helping blind people is what prevents the dismantling of nuclear weapons
one time I housesat for a woman who kept a list of all her email and password combos on the kitchen table, as well as a checklist of all the places she’d hidden her guns
she also furnished the guest room with a large wicker trunk full of personal files including 1.) financial information and bank records 2.) a collection of racist memes from the early 2000’s and 3.) a folder labeled ‘PAIN AND AGONY’ which contained angry correspondence between her and World of Warcraft representatives, accusing the game of causing her then-13 year old son to develop an online gaming addiction
“did you snoop” what do you think
i hate gender and pronouns like im literally just gianna
like the way we have simply reinvented ways to conform to a binary.... makes me SICK. are you nonbinary girl or nonbinary boy or nonbinary both... are you masc or femme are you a girlboy or boygirl are you top or are you bottom are you- SHUT UP!!!!!!!! WE WILL NEVER BE FREE GOD. the individual human experience and perception is so fucking complex and unfathomable and it can never and will never be able to fit perfectly into any vibe or aesthetic or binary or title or WHATEVER. thats why we keep having to invent new things to call ourselves because there is no such thing as specific and complex as ourselves yet we are so fucking desperate to call it something like bitch just live
there is no thing so like me that i MUST call myself it because the moment i do is the moment i start to ignore other parts in order to feel fulfilled in what ive called myself. my identity does not lie in specific labels im whatever i am for the rest of time the most accurate depictions of yourself are to be found in others because despite our complexities we are all the same and the only things like us. love and learn about others and your identity will feel more secure because you will also be loving and learning about yourself. identity is only found in community without solid community you will always be scrambling to define your identity . or whatever idfk
My friend forgot to secure the latch on his magic card briefcase and all his commander decks are now mixed together. Now he’s playing 1200 card pickup and has to reorganize everything.
if Candice has a picture phone why did she never just take a photo of what phineas and ferb were doing and text it to her mom
if she did this doofenshmirtz would just be like you see perry the platypus i sold my old computer at the pawn shop but i forgot to delete all those embarrassing photos from the christmas party, which is why i’ve invented the pixel-replacinator! and then as candace is going to text her mom the photo the phone gets hit with the beam and she looks down and she’s just texted her mom a photo of doofenshmirtz in a sexy elf costume or smth. candace can never fucking win the universe bends to facilitate her psychological torment







