Oh Deer...

Sometimes Reddit is hilarious:

environmental storytelling

This is what getting distracted with ADHD sounds like

Sometimes on the subway we time travel.

It’s the question mark that makes it exquisite.  The future is not an exact science.

Look we’re not exactly sure what day it is yet- but fuck if it isn’t a Monday

A massive grouper (toilet on the left for scale) 

(via)

You think you know how big it’s gonna be, and you’re wrong

This is gorgeous. I love to think of this big lad, living in his sunken flat.

It was nice of him to invite us in

We were funnier in 2010 than we are now

Nude Portraits series by photographer Trevor Christensen

This is my new favorite thing

‘portraits of people reacting to nudity’ fresh, inspired, art sfkas;lk

according to the notes, yes, the subjects do know ahead of time that he will be nude, so yes, this is very funny and cool

I honestly always find the term ‘spinster’ as referring to an elderly, never-married woman as funny because you know what?

Wool was a huge industry in Europe in the middle ages. It was hugely in demand, particularly broadcloth, and was a valuable trade good. A great deal of wool was owned by monasteries and landed gentry who owned the land. 

And, well, the only way to spin wool into yarn to make broadcloth was by hand. 

This was viewed as a feminine occupation, and below the dignity of the monks and male gentry that largely ran the trade. 

So what did they do?

They hired women to spin it. And, turns out, this was a stable job that paid very well. Well enough that it was one of the few viable economic options considered ‘respectable’ outside of marriage for a woman. A spinster could earn quite a tidy salary for her art, and maintain full control over her own money, no husband required. 

So, naturally, women who had little interest in marriage or men? Grabbed this opportunity with both hands and ran with it. Of course, most people didn’t get this, because All Women Want Is Husbands, Right?

So when people say ‘spinster’ as in ‘spinster aunt’, they are TRYING to conjure up an image of a little old lady who is lonely and bitter. 

But what I HEAR are the smiles and laughter of a million women as they earned their own money in their own homes and controlled their own fortunes and lived life on their own terms, and damn what society expected of them. 

Just wanted to add that the suffix -ster was originally specifically feminine, a means of denoting a lady known by her profession. Spinster = female spinner, baxter = female baker, webster = female weaver (webber), brewster = female brewer. If one of the ladies named Alys in your village was known for selling her excellent weaving, you might call her Alys Webster (to differentiate her from, say, Alys Littel who was rather short, and Alys Bywater who lived near the pond).

This fascinates me for many reasons, but especially in the case of modern families with last names like Baxter or Webster or Brewster. What formidable and well-known ancestresses managed to pass on those very gendered names to all their descendants, when last names were changing from personal “nicknames” into indicators of lineage among the middle and lower classes? There’s a forgotten story of a fascinating woman behind every one of those family lines.

Resource for the history of the -ster suffix here.

Sabía que piedra ganaba siempre

war is hell

Everyone depends on their prey to protect them from their predators. If you kill all of your prey, there’s no one to protect you from your predators.

I wonder what kind of symbolism they’re trying to get at

“There are a lot of giant robot shows in Japan, and we did want our story to have a religious theme to help distinguish us. Because Christianity is an uncommon religion in Japan we thought it would be mysterious. None of the staff who worked on Eva are Christians. There is no actual Christian meaning to the show, we just thought the visual symbols of Christianity look cool. If we had known the show would get distributed in the US and Europe we might have rethought that choice.” -Kazuya Tsurumaki, assistant director/art director on Neon Genesis Evangelion

eva is literally fake deep

#i love this tbh #like their treating christianity like white people treat buddhism and what not is such an unintentional fuck you

THEY’VE PROJECTED A LETTUCE ONTO THE HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT

can barely believe it but this is real

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

every day i ahve to reposition the damn lamp cuz she’s dead set on sticking her first leaf Right The Fuck In There and i don’t want her to burn. but every day i come home from work and she has closed the distance anyway. bestie PLEASE cooperate with me

i finally caved and moved her to the windowsill but this has clearly not satisfied her because she still presses that leaf RIGHT up against the glass

apparently instead of actually growing new leaves in order to increase her light intake she’s decided that these are PERFECT conditions to flower in

BABYGIRL YOU HAVE ONE LEAF PLEASE

Twitter isn't appreciating my anecdotal wit, this is so funny to me

*scrolls past*

*catches the joke, goes up and reblogs*

Giant Siphonophores really out here doing the most, and somehow also the least

Love to sea it

It wrinkles my brain that Jupiter’s moon Europa has oceans that are sixty miles deep, while Earth’s oceans only reach seven miles deep at most. I’m willing to bet good money that there’s life in Europa’s oceans. Like five bucks. You hear me, NASA? I bet you five bucks that there’s life on Europa… Now that there’s money and reputation on the line, I bet they send a mission there real quick.

I have no idea when this was originally posted, but NASA is working on their Europa mission RIGHT NOW to look for alien life! But get this, they theorize that because of the depth, gravity, and composition of the oceans, any organisms that lived there would be waaay bigger than aquatic life on Earth. So far everything’s going well with regards to their Europa mission so they should have a spacecraft on its way to look for giant sea monsters in space in only a few years. (The planned date is in the early 2020s.)

Looks like my negotiations worked. You’re welcome, humanity.

I’ve never been gripped with such cold terror and pure delight in my LIFE

explaining to an 18th century sailor that we’re looking for sea monsters in space. 

The launch date for the Europa Clipper is October 2024.

Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space 

ian mckellen directed these movies actually

I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…

The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.

Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”

Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”

Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”

My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”

Zombie : “AARRRGH”

Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”

Zombie : “TEETH!!”

This happened to me.

Scary prison dude: HELLO

Me: Nice to meet you!

Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot

My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that

Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend?  Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet?  Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing).  – Got to walk a second time through–  Same guy: My friends -wailing-  Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh. 

I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.

Specifically, I remember;

There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.

Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”

I could hear them giggling.

Guy playing Freddie Kruger: Remember, you are all my children!

Me: thanks dad

A small chorus of teenagers: thanks dad

I went to a haunted corn maze once. Someone ran at me with a chainsaw. I just stared at him. He hung his head and walked away. I left.

The Real Horror Is The People We Dissapointed Along The Way

IM CRYING

My friends and I were in a really dark part of a haunted house and couldn’t find the exit, so the guy who had just jumped out at us had to say “to your left” in his same scary voice he’d used to scream and we were like “thanks!”

And then after a few moments of patting blindly at the wall he says again in the same ominous voice “your other left”

World Heritage Post

As an actor at several haunted houses past, i just want to say thank you so much for being the kind of people who i look forward to having.