What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.” “Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?” “Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.” “Like what?” “I dunno. Pizza rolls?”

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?” “Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”

“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?” “…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”

“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”

“I went to church yesterday and the holy water was really hot!”

“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”

everyone reblog this now

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words..

Having a picture of your girlfriend as the lock screen on your phone is the 21st-century equivalent of keeping a locket with her picture in it.

This is actually such an adorable comparison

my talents include

ohmygod

the funniest part about this vine is that u can literally see her get the idea to tape her nose like that omg 

Are Medusa’s leg hairs tiny snakes?

Now were asking the real questions.

#it is also the ‘i have a live laugh love decoration somewhere in my house’#’i have a child named caedyn’

#Wall decals about bible verses will class up any kitchen #You should come to my Thirty-One party

I can’t stop. There are too many:

#I’m the best mom on this field trip and everyone knows it #Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? #Let’s get lattes after Zumba! #Gluten causes Autism #I will have him pulled out of your class #Oh shoot, I forgot I volunteered to bring brownies to faith group tonight #We don’t let him watch more than one hour of TV a day #Stick figure family window sticker #(whispers behind hand) you’ve got to read 50 Shades of Grey

Forgive me. I am a mother, and I walk among these women every day. I have adopted their ways as a form of camouflage.

dying

ITS BACK AND IT GOT BETTER

SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT

So if a teenager is at school for roughly 8 hours, and they are doing homework for 6+ hours, and they need AT LEAST 9 HOURS OF SLEEP FOR THEIR DEVELOPING BRAINS, then they may have 0-1 hours for other activities like eating, bathing, exercise, socializing (which is actually incredibly important for emotional, mental, and physical health, as well as the development of skills vital to their future career and having healthy romantic relationships among other things), religious activities, hobbies, extra curriculars, medical care of any kind, chores (also a skill/habit development thing and required by many parents), relaxation, and family time?  Not to mention that your parents may or may not pressure you to get a job, or you might need to get one for economic reasons.

I will never not reblog this

Rules Every Teenager Should Know

1. If a boy invites you over and doesn’t introduce you to his family, run. He doesn’t plan on keeping you around.

2. The first time you get your heart broken, let it hurt. Don’t try to hide the pain or get rid of it with drugs and alcohol. Let your heart hurt so it can grow.

3. If anyone says no, the answer is no. Understand that and accept it the first time.

4. Nothing ends like the movies, so don’t expect it to.

5. Go to school, do your work, do your homework, even if you don’t plan on going to college. You’ll feel a lot better when you do it.

6. Don’t forget your friends when you’re in a relationship. That’s just a shitty thing to do so don’t do it.

7. Be nice to your cashier, they’re trying their best. And tip your waitor/waitress. Most of the time that is most of what they take home.

8. Don’t let social media ruin your chances of a college education or a job. Nothing on the internet is worth that.

9. Call your grandmother every once in awhile. She probably misses you and it’ll brighten her day.

10. Try to be the happiest you can be. You only have one life so live it to the fullest.

11. Don’t let your fears hold you back from something you’ve always wanted to do. You never know if you’ll get the chance to do said thing again.

12. Never give up what you love. You will not be the same without it.

13. When some boy hurts you so bad you can’t eat from a broken heart, don’t get mad at the friend who makes you pasta and watches you eat a whole bowl. Be mad at the boy who broke you so bad you forgot how to function like a normal human being.

14. Don’t let anyone take you away from yourself. You and your happiness are your number one priority. Always.

15. Don’t let anyone do something to you, that you would not do to someone else.

i could see that. 

i would watch that.

now that’s something that would be worth watching

“Daniel could be Snape”

I’m actually 1100% behind this

SUMMERHILL SCHOOL!!! ENGLAND!!!! 

My teacher told me about this in high school. As humans we have a natural thirst for knowledge. While naturally kids did their own thing for the first few weeks they eventually started going to class. It teaches them to want to go to class. You’re not forced to learn and because of that you want to learn.

THAT’S BRILLIANT 

It sounds stupid but it’s almost like reverse psychology. Kids hate people forcing them to go to school. But as soon as that is lifted, they suddenly want to. And it’s not surprising.

People like learning, people hate being forced to learn

This should be an example to every school around the world, i just think it’s brilliant!

I FORGOT SOME STUFF

IF YOU’RE FAIRLY INTUNE WITH WHEN UR GOING TO GET UR PERIOD U CAN PUT THE DIVACUP IN BEFOREHAND TO PREVENT BLEEDING INTO YOUR UNDERWEAR WHAAAAAAAT? YEAH 

BACKPACKING AROUND THE WORLD JUST GOT 100% EASIER FOR PEOPLE WITH MENSTRUAL CYCLES

And no chemicals like tampons and pads which are full of perfumes, and better for the environment because you’re not throwing away applicators! Just saved up enough to order mine!

I don’t get periods, but here’s some worthyass information to pass along to those who do!

this would be really nice for trans males/nonbinary people in the men’s restroom who don’t want people to hear the sound of pads or tampons unwrapping!!

don’t let someone tell you who to love and who to be, be who you want to be and love who you want to love

PRIDE=LOVE

hi, i’m mabel! i’m twelve and own a pig! wanna get married?

your dog needs meat and your kids need vaccines. end of discussion.

Also your dog needs vaccines and your kids need meat.

Also your meat needs vaccines and your kids need dogs.

what these are all true