Avatar

arranged with care

@fireflightaesthetics

my blog for oc aesthetics.

IF LIFE IS AS SHORT AS OUR ANCESTORS INSIST IT IS, WHY ISN’T EVERYTHING I WANT ALREADY AT MY FEET

if I make it to heaven, I will ask for all of the small pleasures I could have had on earth. And I’m sure this will upset

the divine order. I am a simple man. I want, mostly, a year that will not kill me when it is over.

A hot stove and a wooden porch, bent under the weight of my people. I was born, and it only got worse

from there. In the dead chill of a doctor’s office, I am told what to cut back on and what to add more of.

None of this sounds like living. I sit in a running car under a bath of orange light and eat the fried chicken

that I promised my love I would stray from for the sake of my heart and its blood

labor. Still, there is something about the way a grease stain begins small and then tiptoes its way along

the fabric of my pants. Here, finally, a country worth living in. One that falls thick from whatever

it is we love so much that we can’t stop letting it kill us. If we must die, let it be inside here. If we must.

HANIF WILLIS-ABDURRAQIB

Hart Crane, from “My Grandmother’s Love Letters”, The Collected Poems of Hart Crane

[Text ID: “There are no stars to-night But those of memory. Yet how much room for memory there is In the loose girdle of soft rain.”]