very squishable. 10/10.
The worst thing you can do, as someone who has recently realised they are transfem, is to let terves and transphobes convince you cis women will never accept you.
I was told that when I came out everyone would reject me. That I would find myself isolated from the world, and from other women especially, who would react to me with horror and revulsion.
In reality, within the first months of coming out, in no particular order:
My sister's reaction on my coming out was, "Right, so I have a sister instead of a brother. Cool. I'm taking you clothes shopping tomorrow."
A friend, when she learned I am a woman, immediately invited me to her women-only, girls-night-out birthday party the following week.
Another friend, when a friend of hers expressed doubts about my gender, immediately shut them down and reaffirmed I am a woman.
I went camping with a group of friends, and we had two tents, one for the boys and one for the girls; I was unsure as to which I should enter, to which a girl friend responded by grabbing me and physically dragging me inside the women's tent.
In the women's bathroom at a movie theatre a random woman, whom I'd never seen before and haven't seen since, stopped me as I was going into a stall, to warn me there was no toilet paper in there, because she'd just used the last of it.
All of these, and more, some from friends, some from complete strangers. All within a few months, as a trans woman who hadn't started medical transition yet, and was very visible as being a trans woman.
I've had some people reject me, true, but the vast majority, including almost all cis women, accepted me as a sister with open arms.
Cis women are cool. It's terves who are bigots.
I needed to see this today
reblog to give warm bread to your mutuals
scarlet-druidess
So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.
Also I cannot overstate how much "We should scrutinize out queer authors MORE" was not the point of this post, or my tags on it. Queer creators already cannot fucking win. If they're not out loud and clear, they get ripped to pieces. If they're out and proud and make art that doesn't rise to the impossible standard of perfectly representing all queer people everywhere they get ripped to pieces.
There isn't a way forward from this without being willing to admit that what is good representation is subjective. There isn't a way forward from this without admitting that we aren't all looking for the same thing in queer media and queer characters, that something not being for me doesn't make it necessarily bad and harmful, and that what we need is more and a greater variety of queer characters, not to force them all into one arbitrary formula.
My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."
He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."
He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"
I did.
"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."
It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.
So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.
*throws ibuprofen on the ground and watches the aging tumblr populous peck at them like chickens*
hustleinatrap
Great grandma only had 12 kids because she died giving birth to the 13th because after a certain point and a certain age childbirth becomes much riskier. But your great-grandfather certainly didn’t let a little thing like her health stop him from fucking her.
Grandma, as the oldest girl, took on the maternal role when her mother died because that’s what girls and women are for and that’s how these giant families work: with the older girls providing childcare for the younger children until the younger girls become old enough to contribute as well. Then when she had a husband and kids of her own she was drugged out of her mind because being dissatisfied with being a wife and mother and doing nothing else meant you had some kind of mental problem. She was either sedated so she wouldn’t feel the crushing depression, or she was hyped on amphetamines to get her through the long pointless days.
Your mother never caught on that her own mother was unhappy, because the drugs smoothed her out and kept her from talking about her pain. Your mom used her newfound rights to go to college and get a job, because she was told that a liberated woman could have a family and a career and a husband who treated her as an equal. When her husband left it to her to handle the home and the child care, just like generations before him, your mother convinced herself it was her choice. When she was exhausted trying to balance her paid full-time work and her domestic tasks, and still wasn’t happy, she figured she just wasn’t liberated enough. She blamed herself for not being able to ~have it all~ like she was promised.
I just can’t deal with these people. Anyone who’s ever read anything from prior generations of women knows that they were miserable, but these guys want us to believe it was somehow a happier time.
Thank you. Almost everyone else in the notes is saying that families had so many children only because of the high mortality rate of infants. I’m pretty sure the institutions that forced women into unwanted marriages, pregnancies, childbirths, and motherhood had more to do with it.
Pregnancy is long and painful. Childbirth is indescribably excruciating, often lethal (especially two, three generations ago). And if you lose multiple children after going through it multiple times, that isn’t exactly a reason to keep doing it… unless you’re not the one who has to endure it and you have another person who can do it for you.
I’d wager that women who went through childbirth 12+ times didn’t decide to do that of their own accord. They were legally understood to be the property of their husbands. They were socially understood to be incubators and domestic servants. They were barred from the public sphere – jobs, education, politics, etc. – most had to marry to survive.
It’s not hard to understand that, given the right to not have kids, a lot of women won’t have kids. A lot of us just want dogs, ffs.
100% — and I appreciate this post standing up for women who don’t want kids period — but also the number of women who WANT to have 12+ kids, where it doesn’t involve some kind of coercion (including the ideological kind pushed by religious cults like Quiverfull) — is minuscule to nonexistent. Acting like that’s the ideal to aspire to, either you are just really stupid, or you hate women having choices in how to run our lives and being able to use our full human potential the same as men. (Most often it’s the latter but managing to con some of the former.) And this is why reproductive rights including access to birth control but ALSO abortion is essential to women’s full citizenship
Raph and Casey in TMNT Shredder’s Revenge, ‘nuff said.
(thanks dotemu)
America will create trillionaires before they legislate Medicare For All.
End the billionaire agenda to dismantle democracy. #TaxTheRich
They’re going to get away with as much as we will let them.
Let’s not let them.
Elon Musk sells cars to progressives. His biggest market by far is California. The guy is dumb.
Republicans will turn any issue into a racist dog whistle to scare their base of bigots.
'Hard working' is racist Republican-speak for white people.
In addition, this is yet another example of Republicans in Congress, especially those entitled dipshits like Gaetz who never served, treating veterans like shit.
Support labor. Fcuk Howard Schultz.
#WorkerSolidarity #StopSurplusLaborTheft
Fucking kills me how diet culture has ruined bread. Bread! One of the oldest and most universal foods on earth! The thing that connects us to each other and to our ancestors whose names and faces are lost to history! And some dipshits decided that it’s “so bad for you” because they’re scared of carbs and love shaming fat people.
Reblog if you’re fat and love bread!!!
💕🍞🥖🥨🥐💕
