this is the purest video I’ve ever laid my sinning eyes on

illegal

the squeaks

I think now that we’re in 2017 we can stop villainizing the witch from Hänsel and Gretel. Some kids ate her house. She gets to eat them. It was a fair deal.

counterpoint: Hänsel and Gretel were led out into the woods to starve at the urging of their mother, so both parents don’t have to ration any more food for them during hard times. Hänsel and Gretel were underfed and desperate, and when life gives you a gingerbread house in that state, you eat the windowsill and the front stoop and every gumdrop you can find.

conclusion: if the witch prompted the children to explain themselves she’d realize it was ultimately parents’ neglect that led them to this point.

solution: eat the parents. everyone wins!

Not the solution I was expecting, but honestly, yeah, it makes sense.

Wonder Woman proposing to Supergirl in the presence of Darth Vader and his entourage.

This is the future liberals want.

Seizure First Aid. 

Learn it. Share it. Know it. Use it. 

100% correct medical information on tumblr for once; also consider calling 911 if you don’t know how often the person has seizures and ESPECIALLY if the seizure has lasted 5 minutes or more (which is why the watch is critical)

I have epilepsy so making sure the word is out on how to help people who do have seizures means a lot to me.

the president is about to start WWIII over twitter and it’s only the first week of 2018

please someone tell me this is a fake tweet

it’s real.

God bless America

I cannot believe this actually happened.

Charities/organisations to avoid:

PETA: They’d rather spend their money on publicity campaigns than on the animals in their care. PETA killed 73.8% of the animals in their care in 2015 (x)

FCKH8: Is a for-profit company that exploits oppressed groups for money. They’re also wildly uninformed, and spread misogyny, cissexism and bi/panphobia, as well as stealing their posts/designs (x)

Autism Speaks: They spend most of their money on researching a way to eliminate autism, heighten the stigma against autism and don’t have a single autistic person on their board (x)

Please support other, better charities, and feel free to add any others you can think of to this.

Susan G. Komen for the Cure: CEO makes insane amounts of money, they deny a lot of requests for wigs/help with treatment/etc., and have attempted to sue other charities that use the color pink as part of their anti-breast cancer campaign. ( x x x )

The Salvation Army: They promote the hatred of LGBT+ people, work with fundamentalist Christian groups to support conservative politics and rip off and exploit workers. ( x x x )

Wounded Warrior: They take money that should be spent on veterans and blow it on huge opulent parties for the company bigwigs. 26 million in 2014 alone wasted! ( x x x )

^ Important reminder to NOT waste any money donating to these groups

Reblogging because of the added info about Wounded Warrior.

A good way to know if a nonprofit you’re donating to is allocating their money in the right way is to check out their Charity Navigator rating: http://www.charitynavigator.org

Signal boosting, the bell ringers are out in force, and this info is too important.

“it’s like freud always said,” says the ‘psychologist’ character in the movie, making everyone in the audience who knows anything at all about psychology flinch involuntarily

#do NOT say the name of this foul creature out loud in my house

How to NOT dispose of your Christmas tree, courtesy of grandpa

So, since Y’all liked the last bit of family holiday insanity, I think you’ll enjoy a story from dad’s side of the family.  Also, it’s vaguely timely in that this is the time of year people start to do dumb shit with Christmas trees in order to avoid dump fees.

The year is still 1956, because Grandpa is a stickler for taking the tree down before New Year’s Eve, mostly because Grandpa is also the Monterey County Commissioner, and responsible for holding the New Year’s Office Party at his place.  You know, a responsible adult who has to make nuanced, careful policy decisions, the kind of guy that turns his taxes in before February.  

The kind of guy who decides he can burn his Christmas tree in the fireplace instead of taking it to the dump.

There is no good reason for grandpa to NOT take the tree there- Monterey is on the California Coast and has an average temperature of 50 degrees in December.  It will snow in hell before it snows in Monterey.  And this was the 50′s!  Dump fees didn’t exist yet!  It’s easy, free, and very unlikely to set your house on fire!

But no, Grandpa, an other wise sober and sensible man, decided instead to take this highly desiccated and moderately explosive tree and actually shove it up the chimney, before setting it alight.

Dad distinctly recalls his ears popping as the barometric pressure in the room dropped, as the conflagration drew air up into the chimney with enough force to take one of the curtains with it.  Grandpa is standing there in front of the fireplace like an idiot, presumably slightly deafened by the jet-engine-like ROAR coming from the fireplace.

Dad, having at least two working survival instincts, ran outside to see if spark were landing on the roof and if he needed to call 911. There were not sparks landing on the roof, becuase whatever flaming bits of tree were left were being blown into the stratosphere by the jet of flame erupting out of the chimney like the worlds biggest butane torch.  The ground shook, from the force of the tree combusting in such a confined fashion.  The earth was probably moved slightly out of orbit.

Fortunately, once the tree died down, it did not take the house with it, and they were all left with shattered nerves and a structurally unsound chimney.

“Well that was a hell of a thing.” Said grandpa, still standing in front of the fireplace.  He turned, slowly, looking moderately shell-shocked towards his sobbing daughters and Dad, who was too awed for any reasonable sense of panic.

“Don’t tell your mother, and we can all have ice cream.”

Classic Hollywood Bloopers

And the greatest Hollywood blooper of all time:

These are WONDERFUL

Two more of my favorites:

These are great..made me smile😊💖

The fact these exist are truly amazing.

In the olden days, if footage was not used in a film, it was either destroyed or erased so they could reuse the reel, because it was cheaper than storing unused film.

Google the BBC’s lost archives to find out more.

Ok but imagine supernatural. But with drake and josh.

“This is the worst day ever.” “Why, cause we’re stuck in hell?” “No, because it’s a little humid- YES BECAUSE WERE STUCK IN HELL”

People throw the term “Liberal” around like it’s an insult. Bitch, I AM a liberal, gimme that single payer healthcare, better school systems, better infrastructure, higher employment rates, more consumer protection, more equality, less religion in our government, less discrimination in my country, and tons more diversity.

Merry Christmas Eve tumblr! 🎄🎅 Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

(Source)