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Welcome to my weird ass mind.

@finding-all-that-is-robert

25 years old, being the best me I can be. They/He
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utopians

life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water

put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you've diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me

soak that basmati rice in cold water for about 20 minutes toast paprika tumeric and cumin in a saucepan with some clarified butter dice and sautee an onion and garlic until transparent toast your rice submerge in chicken stock add salt and cook until the rice has absorbed all the liquid. trust me

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glumshoe

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

there are only two genders: frog and pig

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

oh god

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

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jenivi

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

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fremedon

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

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adrnired

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

This is the worst addition to this post

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

anyone in this thread smoke weed

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susiron

In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

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Just came back from the Barbie movie and realized something as an LA local

Ken walked more than 2 hours away from Barbie when he discovered toxic masculinity.

This himbo walked 14 miles in one day and left Barbie to have an existential crisis for like 5 hours. I love this movie

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Just got home from the Barbie movie and wow.

I can't stop thinking about how beautifully the Barbie movie portrays that often times when men (speaking in very binary terms, apologies) are hurt and feel wronged they'll act out in ways that hurt people, may that be purposefully or inadvertently. And society enforces this. Meanwhile women, who are used to living in a hostile world, will often express and process their pains in ways that don't harm others.

But Ken never wanted to hurt anyone. He just was hurt and didn't know how to deal with it. He found the first thing that gave him an outlet and some inkling of comfort and latched onto it. And after Ken has had his supposed "villain arc", Barbie isn't mad at him. She lets him know it's okay to cry.

The villain was never Ken himself, it was the fact that society is built in a way that prevents men from having ways to safely process and regulate their emotions. A society that punishes men for crying and confiding in friends and wanting to be comforted.

The Barbie movie isn't anti men. It's a big fuck you to our society that is hellbent on keeping everyone in an eternal cycle of hurt.

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mythbusters was so good because it wasn’t a killjoy show. they didn’t just say “see, it doesn’t work” and leave it there

whenever they find that the stunt doesn’t work as portrayed in the movie, they immediately ask “what would it take to make this happen?”

“we know it takes this amount of explosives to work, but what if we doubled it anyway?”

Some myths I’ll always remember:

* Are elephants scared of mice? (They only did that because they were in Africa and had access to elephants.)

* Will a bull run amok in a china shop?

* Is it better to run zig-zag or straight when chased by an alligator?

I love these because NONE of them turned out the way they expected. They went into all three with pre-conceived ideas of how it would go, and each time they “failed.” Elephants WILL cower from mice. A bull moves very gingerly through a china shop. It doesn’t matter how you run because ALLIGATORS WON’T CHASE YOU.

And each time, they reacted with just… pure glee. “Holy shit, we were wrong! Oh my god! This is great! We were so wrong!”

And that, to me, is what science is. Being excited about being wrong because either way it’s information.

A life ethos tbh.

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alright so during into the spider-verse's introduction to peter b. parker, we see his wedding, and he stomps on the wine glass right? this is a jewish wedding tradition, which makes this version of peter parker jewish (further confirmed in interviews -- however, i believe this is enough by itself). it's a nice nod to the jewish roots of the character.

we get to see a bunch of peter parkers throughout the spider-verse films, and none of them have any explicit religious associations like peter b. parker. except for one!

here we have gwen stacy's peter parker and aunt may, from earth-65, saying grace over a meal. from my understanding, this is generally a christian practice -- in judaism, we prefer to say short prayers before eating, and save the long, in-depth ones for afterwards. so to me, this was a clear example of the character being coded as christian. i was a little disappointed that they didn't make peter parker jewish here too, but since across the spider-verse discusses variants and the differences between instances of the same person between different universes, i interpreted this as a continued commentary on peter parker's ethnicity -- although he was initially jewish-coded and one of his two creators, stan lee, is jewish, this is often erased, especially in more modern interpretations of the character.

and then i remembered that this peter parker also literally turns into the lizard.

and y'know what? good call on that one guys.

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demilypyro

The group chat has decided that since I've only had one sexual relationship and it wasn't a very good one and I've since transitioned, changed my legal name, undergone hormone therapy and now had bottom surgery, that I have ship of theseus'ed my way back to being a virgin

I'm having the weirdest fucking pride month